Redemption Road (Roughneck #3) (9 page)

Chapter 16

The rest of the week went by without any craziness. Aside from the occasional hang up call at work, Jake had been quiet. He hadn’t left any surprises at my door and Dr. Weston stayed late the rest of the week, so I was starting to feel calm again. Kash had texted me a couple of times to check on me. That was nice, but I missed his voice. But no way in hell was I going to call him. I would never be the needy one again, not out loud anyway.

“Hey, bitch,” Sam whispered, as she walked into the back office where I was buried in files.

“Hey,” I said, as I looked up and smiled at her.

“So, Moon and Jase are gone, Lainey has her first overnight sitter since Emma was born, and we’re gonna go out and get some drinks. Nothing crazy, probably just the bar and grill outside of town. Wanna come?” she asked, and batted her eyelashes at me. I didn’t need convincing. I needed a night out with the girls.

“Hell, yeah,” I said, and clapped my hands with enthusiasm.

“Yay!” she said with a grin. “Come over to my house when you get out of here.”

After work, I sped home and got ready in record time. I was more excited than I thought I would be. I needed to unwind and just relax. I missed Kash like crazy, and needed to get my mind off of him. Plus, anything that would keep me from worrying about a possible next move from Jake was a good thing.

Sam met me at her front door with a glass of wine in her hand. I gladly accepted it as I walked through the door.

“Come on, we’re in the bathroom. I’m trying to remind Lainey how a curling iron works,” she said with a giggle, as we walked towards the bathroom.

“Hey, fuck you, bitch,” she laughed, as she was sipping on a glass of wine and leaning against the counter. “It’s been a while.”

“Obviously,” Sam said as she grabbed the curling iron, and started working on the back of Lainey’s hair.

“Well, I think you look gorgeous no matter what,” I said. Lainey had a natural beauty that didn’t go unnoticed.  It was easy to see why Jase fell so hard and fast for her.

“Thanks,” she said, as she stuck her tongue out at Sam in the mirror.

“I’m just fucking with you, Lainey boo boo, you know you’re a smoking hot momma,” she said, as she kissed her cheek.

It was obvious the bond these two had was so strong; I almost felt like a third wheel going out with them. But I wasn’t going to throw a pity party, so I threw the glass of wine back and gulped it down instead.

“Well, that’s our cue for a refill,” Sam said, as she grabbed the glass out of my hand. “Here, sweets, help this pitiful woman out,” she said, as she handed me the curling iron. I started to curl the end of Lainey’s hair and looked at her in the mirror. Her eyes were already a little glassy and she was grinning ear-to-ear.

“What?” I asked.

“I’m just a little buzzed. I haven’t drank in a long time. And I’m leaving my baby love all night long,” she said, and her smile faded.

“Bitch, Emma is fine,” Sam said, as she walked back into the bathroom.

“Where is she?” I asked.

“She’s with my in-laws,” Lainey whined.

“Who have been begging to watch her overnight since she was born! God, woman, if you don’t suck it up, I’m cutting you off,” she said, as she held up her wine glass.

“Ok, Ok,” Lainey said, and stood up a little straighter.

“We need to hurry, the cab is on its way,” Sam said.

“A cab?” I asked. We lived out in the sticks, there wasn’t a taxi service around here. That would cost a fortune to have them come all the way out here.

“We need a DD, and it sure ain’t gonna be any of us,” Sam laughed.

“Smart idea,” I said, as I sipped my wine.

Three hours later, we were walking into a tattoo parlor and my head was spinning just a little. I wasn’t drunk, but I sure wasn’t sober. I hadn’t laughed so hard in all my life. Sam and Lainey were hilarious together, and my sides were sore.

“I can’t believe y’all are getting tattoos!” I said, as we stood at the entrance.

“What do you mean ‘y’all?’” Sam laughed. “Bitch, this is a ‘we’ situation, not a ‘y’all.’”

“I can’t get a tattoo,” I said. I couldn’t help but think about my parents for a minute. They would go crazy if they ever knew I was even at a tattoo shop. That’s when I made up my mind. Yes, I can get a tattoo. And I would. I already knew what I wanted.

Lainey went first, she was a trooper. She got ‘Jase’ tattooed on her side above her rib cage. It was beautiful. Sam hopped on the table next and unzipped her pants without hesitation. She had picked out an infinity symbol with angel wings on both sides. I knew it was for their baby that she and Moon lost, but I wasn’t going to ask or mention it. Sam seemed happy, and I didn’t want to bring her down.

As Sam and Lainey examined their new ink in the shop mirror, I heard the guy call my name. Suddenly, my buzz completely vanished and I got scared.

“She needs a shot,” Lainey said to the tattoo artist.

“I can’t tattoo someone who is intoxicated,” he said, as he shook his head.

“She just needs to take the edge off so she doesn’t puss out,” Sam said with a giggle.

“Ben, I know you have a bottle of whiskey behind there, just give her a shot,” Lainey said, and the man with the gauges in his ears and tattoos from his neck to his fingertips bent down and pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniels.

“Only because Jase is a good customer,” he said with a laugh, and pulled out a shot glass and filled it to the top. I took the shot quickly, and almost choked on the burn in my throat.

“One more,” I whispered through the pain.

“Go ahead and give her two,” Sam said with a wink.

The next morning, I woke up on Sam’s couch with a pounding head and a sore shoulder. I rubbed my head, trying to ease the throbbing when I felt the plastic still wrapped around my shoulder. My tattoo.

I opened my eyes slowly and noticed a bag of Cheetos, vitamin water and Tylenol sitting on the table beside me. Sam was the best. I chased the tiny pills with the water and then stood up slowly. I walked into the bathroom and stripped my shirt off. I was anxious to see it. If I took a look at it last night, I don’t even remember. I removed the plastic wrap and tears welled up in my eyes.

Three swallows flying. Freedom.

Chapter 17

Today was the day. Kash was coming home. I was beyond excited. I drove home from work in a hurry, and jumped in the shower to shave and get ready for him. But he hadn’t called to let me know he was close yet. I decided to redo my makeup and straighten my hair, even though it was seven in the evening and it was just going to get messed up anyway. I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of Kash messing up my makeup and tangling my hair.

But around nine, there was still no word from him. I started to worry, but figured if something happened, Sam was his family and she would call me. So I waited. And I waited some more. I sat on the couch listening for his car until almost midnight, but he never came home. I had a big day at work tomorrow - investors were coming in to meet with Dr. Weston, and he asked me to meet with them also about the new software. I even had to wear a skirt, which I wasn’t happy about. Skirts reminded me of living at home with my parents and being forced to wear them. But I wouldn’t wear one down to my ankles; it would be above the knee just because I could. Even though my parents would never even know the difference - I’m sure they didn’t even care where I was, they sure didn’t give a damn what I was wearing. It felt necessary to show this sign of freedom. I didn’t consider it rebellion anymore, I was free of that lifestyle also.

“Ugh, forget it,” I mumbled to myself as I looked at my phone (it was midnight), and then headed off to bed.

The next morning, I woke up completely exhausted. I spent the night tossing, turning, listening. But no sign of Kash. So I did what I had to do. I got up for work and headed out the door. Looking at my car sitting in the driveway alone kind of pissed me off. I wasn’t even sure what to think about us now. I thought we had a connection, I know we did. We still do. I started thinking he cared. The things he did gave me that impression. It’s not like I was pulling the ideas out of my ass.

Ugh.

I pulled into the office a few minutes early and headed inside. Jenny, one of the front desk girls, motioned for me to come to the file room. I followed behind her, curiously.

“What’s up?” I asked, as we walked into the small cluttered room. But as soon as my eyes saw them, I knew the answer.

There were a dozen long stem, black roses in a black vase, sitting on top of one of the file cabinets. Shit.

“Um. They were sitting on the doorstep when I got here this morning. It seemed kind of creepy. Your name is on the card, but I brought them back here first thing. No one else noticed; I was the first one here besides Dr. Weston, and I guess they weren’t here when he arrived,” she said, looking worried.

“Thanks,” I said quietly, and walked over to the roses. I looked back at Jenny as she was slowly leaving the room. I’m sure she was overly curious, but didn’t want to ask. Well, I wasn’t going to be sharing, so she might as well keep walking.

I noticed my name on the front of the card was typed this type. Strange. I opened it.

You will not get away with this. Whores always pay for their sins.

I read the typed message over and over. I ripped the card in half as tears welled up in my eyes. I hate him so much. He knew the struggle I had with my parents, which is why he threw that part in there. I hated him. I hated him. I hated him.

I scooped up the vase and quickly walked out the back door to throw them in the dumpster outside before anyone noticed them. I looked around, waiting for Jake to come out at me. I had grown used to keeping that taser in my hand at all times when I was outdoors. But I was empty handed this time, and it made me nervous. But I didn’t see him, thank God. I walked back into the building as fast as I could.

The rest of the day went by as smooth as possible. I met with the investors with the image of the horrible flowers in my head, mixed with the sick feeling of missing Kash. Today sucked, actually.

I drove home, making sure to keep an eye on my surroundings. Even though I was completely sick of having to do it, it was necessary. But as I pulled into my driveway, he pulled in behind me. Kash. I wanted to leap out of my car and run to him. But I wouldn’t, I couldn’t seem desperate, even though that’s the way I felt. We both sat in our cars for a few minutes. Maybe we were both waiting for the other to make the first move. I finally gave in, and opened my car door. He didn’t move. He was staring straight down, so I walked over to his car. I knocked on the window and he looked up at me. He looked exhausted. Beautiful, but exhausted. He opened the door.

“Kash? Are you ok?” I asked, genuinely worried. Where had he been all night? What was going on?

“I’m fine,” he said with a cold tone to his voice, and he wouldn’t look me in the eye. Well, fine then. I started to walk away, but he grabbed me by the hem of my skirt and pulled me on top of him, straddling me between him and the steering wheel.
He tried to cover up the smell of liquor with mint, but it was still there. I should resist him, my mind kept telling me. But my body wouldn’t listen, and I pushed myself against him. He rubbed his hands up and down my legs as he stared at me. Eye contact, finally. But there was something in his eyes. Hurt. Confusion. Maybe just exhaustion. I couldn’t put my finger on it. But I couldn’t handle whatever it was, so I pressed my lips to his and his mouth opened for me. I swept my tongue over his and he moaned just a little. That one gesture caused me to grind into him.

“Fuck, Mackenzie,” he whispered as he grabbed the back of my hair, and started to kiss my neck. Our kisses quickly became intense, and he reached up my skirt and put his hand inside my panties. He started to rub my clit and I had to grind harder on his hand. I needed this. I needed him inside me. I kissed his neck and sucked his ear lobe as my breathing became heavier. He ripped the delicate lace off of me without me having to move. The feel of the material rubbing against me as he ripped it made me cry out. I couldn’t wait any longer - I grabbed the button of his jeans and jerked them undone. I unzipped them and then reached my hand inside; the need to feel his cock was almost unbearable. It was already hard, and I started to stroke it and ran my fingertips along the metal bar that I loved so much.

“Get a condom,” I said quietly. Kash reached into his glove compartment and grabbed one out; they were sitting right on top. I tried my best not to dwell on that. I had to force it out of my mind. Kash slid the condom on and the pushed himself inside of me. The feel of him throbbing inside me caused every other thought to leave. He was my only focus. Riding him until I came was my motivation. I needed it right now. I needed that release that had been building for a week. Kash grabbed my ass and shoved me down, harder and faster. He kept his eyes closed. I tried not to feel too disconnected from him in this moment, I wanted to enjoy it. So I closed my eyes, too, and just enjoyed the way he felt. I put all the other thoughts that were trying to push their way through out of my mind. The friction on my clit as I rubbed against him caused my orgasm to come pretty quickly. Kash was right with me. We came together, loudly and intensely. It felt so good; I didn’t want it to end. But once it did, I felt the coldness fall between us. What was going on with him? I didn’t understand it. I rose up and looked into his eyes. He nodded towards the door as he opened it. He still had only said a couple of words to me. I climbed off of him, and waited for him to button his pants and get out of the car. He was conflicted; I could see it all over his face. That was the look. It wasn’t hurt, or exhaustion. He was confused, and it made me sick to my stomach.

“What’s going on Kash?” I asked, needing to know the answer, but not really wanting to.

He exhaled loudly as he stood right in front of me. I grabbed his hand and gave it a little squeeze before I let it go and crossed my arms, feeling defensive.

“I’m not good for you, Mackenzie. I’m not what you need me to be. I can’t be that guy,” he said, as he bit the inside of his cheek. His nervous habit. It was his “tell” when his words tried to convince me differently. Why was he doing this?

“But, I trusted you,” I said, as I stared down at the gravel.

Kash grabbed my chin gently and forced me to look up at him.

“Well, that was your first mistake then, wasn’t it?” he said, and then stared through me with those piercing blue eyes. They had the power to rip through my soul, which is exactly what his words just did.

“One of many I’m assuming,” I said as I stared back at him, trying to pull some emotion out of him. My eyes begged the words I wasn’t willing to say.

“Now you’re catching on, sweetie,” he said quietly, and then turned around and got back in his car.

He didn’t even look in my direction as he started the engine and pulled away. I was shocked, and hurt, and confused. Maybe I was wrong about him.

The wind picked up, causing a breeze up my skirt, making me realize my panties were still on the floor of the car that was barreling down that dirt road.

Asshole.

Well, I sure as hell wasn’t going to sit around here all night wallowing in my sorrows. Screw that. I grabbed my keys, and then realized that knowing my luck, Jake had just watched this whole episode somewhere. So before I headed to the porch, I threw both middle fingers in the air and spun them in all directions, just in case. I went in the house, tore off this damn skirt, and threw it across the room. I went into the kitchen, grabbed a big glass of wine, and then headed into my room. I put on my tightest jeans and high heeled boots. I put on a tight shirt that showed off my boobs and my new tattoo. I made the makeup darker and the hair bigger, and then headed out the door. I was about to hit a bar, alone, on a Thursday. It was a little pathetic, but I didn’t care. I needed out of this house, out of this town, away from my life for just a little bit.

I pulled into the crowded parking lot of JR’s. I realized it was Thirsty Thursday, which meant drink specials for women, which meant lots of guys waiting for drunk women to give them a shot. I braced myself for my entrance, alone. Fuck it!

I headed inside and went straight to the bar.

“I need a shot of something, and a glass of white wine,” I told the bartender, who was actually really cute. I gave him a flirty smile, but felt nauseous about it. Ugh.

“How about a Royal Fuck?” he asked.

“What?” I said, completely shocked.

“It’s a drink, honey,” he said with a laugh, as he poured my wine.

“Oh, ok. Sure,” I said with a sigh of relief, and downed the sweet shot as he handed it to me.

I took a seat at the bar and tried to relax. I didn’t want to be the pissed off girl at the bar giving everyone evil glares, because that’s the way I felt right now.

“Rough day?” the bartender asked.

“Rough life,” I said with a laugh.

“Well, this one’s on the house, then,” he said, as he handed me another shot.

“Thanks,” I said as I threw the shot back, and felt the heat slide down my throat and into my chest. It helped me relax a little. By my third glass of wine, I was really relaxed, and decided to hit the crowded dance floor, alone. Whatever.

I felt the music and the alcohol flowing through my body as I started to sway. I felt a warm body against my back as I moved. I took a quick look behind me. It was a random guy with black hair. He was tall and cute, so I figured what the hell, it’s just a dance. He was grinding on my ass pretty intensely, so I started to scoot away a little, but every step forward I took, he was right up against me. Until he wasn’t. The alcohol had made me a little dizzy, and my reactions were slow. But the screams and shuffling around me made me turn around. The guy with the black hair was on the ground, with Kash on top of him, pounding his face.

“Kash!” I screamed as I grabbed his arm, but it didn’t slow him down a bit. The poor guy under him didn’t stand a chance.

“You better let the bouncers handle it.” A short guy with reddish hair grabbed my arm and pulled me back as two bouncers pulled Kash off the guy. There was blood on the dance floor, and the guy’s nose was gushing. Oh my God.

Kash was escorted out of the bar and I was following right behind him.

“What the hell was that?” I yelled at Kash, as the bouncers let him go and went back inside.

“Go back inside, Mackenzie,” he said, with a blank stare.

“No!” I yelled. I wouldn’t be told what to do, not anymore. I was also running on   a little liquid courage.

“Mackenzie, please,” he said quietly.

“Fuck that, Kash. You pushed me away, remember? You don’t want me, remember? You don’t get to be jealous!” I yelled, with tears filling my eyes. Damn it! Do not cry!

Kash grabbed me by the hand and led me to the side of the building. It was dark and quiet, and seemed a world away from everyone else.

“Don’t you see how bad this is fucking with my head?” Kash said, with a look of hurt in his eyes.

“No, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said honestly, trying not to yell.

“I shouldn’t want you the way I want you,” he said, as he gently pushed me against the brick building.

“I don’t…” I started to speak, but Kash put his finger over my lips.

“I’ve always done things my own way, it’s easier and keeps me calling the shots. But then you came along” he said, as he rubbed the pad of his thumb across my lips.

“Do you know what it does to me to fucking crave you?” he said, as he leaned in and breathed in the scent on my neck. I felt my eyes flutter closed as his hot breath touched my skin.