Ruining Me (4 page)

“
Can I get you a refill?” 

“No thanks, I’
m good,” I answer.  I try looking everywhere, but at him.  I can feel his eyes on me and it’s driving me crazy.

“Would you like to go out sometime?”

“I don’t think so.” 

“What?  You afraid of going cross eyed from staring at me all night.”  I shoot him my mean look.  He laughs again.  “I’m just kidding.  Really I
would
like to take you out.  Don’t make me beg.”  He tilts his head and waits for my answer.

“I don’t think I’m your type.”

“Ok, this is going to be good.  Go ahead and tell me what my type is.”

He’s still grinning at me.  “I would bet that your last two girlfriends were blond and big breasted.”  His eye brows go up in question.

“You got something a
gainst
blond and big breasted?  And good guess,
but
I’m not confirming or denying it.”  He leans back to stand up.  He looks me up and down this time.  “
However,
I’m finding
out
all
of
the sudden though that I like them dark haired and sassy.”

My heart rate suddenly spikes and I wonder if he can hear the loud thumping.  Any other guy
with his looks
and I would be trying to take him home for the night.  Conceited ass or not, but something in me tells me
Kane
is different.  One night wouldn’t be enough for either of us.  Where did that thought come from?  I need to get out of here.

“Um
,
can yo
u please tell Jill I had to run,”
I sa
y
as I st
and
and grab
my bag.   I take a
five
dollar bill out of my purse and lay
it on the bar.  Geez, my freaking hand was shaking. 
Glancing one
more time into his eyes
I
n
otice he looks confused.  I gather not many
girls brush him off.

“Hey, don’t leave.  I’m not actually working tonight and was just going to hang out and play som
e pool.  Why don’t you stay a little while longer and you can tell me all about my type and I can
find out the truth about candy?”

His question really throws me off.  I look at him and he still has that l
ook on his face
like
he’s
trying to figure me out.

“
Sorry I’ve got places to be. 
Nice meeting you,”
I say and turn to flee out of the bar. 
My escape
would have been
okay if I had seen the stool that was standing in front of me
, h
owever,
I trip
over the bottom rung and the seat ca
tches
me mid stomach. 
My breath whooshe
s
out and
I fall
to my kn
ees. 
I think he
actually
jumped over the bar to get to me. 

“Are you okay
?
”  He
ask
ed
as he leans down and places his arm
on my back. 
His touch makes
my breathing
much more shallow and I glance into his face when I
hear
the quick intake of his.  My eyes go to his
plump bottom lip just inches from mine. 
Staring
at them as they move. 
He
is
ask
ing
again if I
am
okay. 
Holy shit, am I okay? 
I sh
ake
m
y head no at first, but then I remember to answer him.

“Yes.”  It was a whisper, but I
know he heard me.  His eyes flew
to my lips and I couldn’t help pulling in my bottom lip and sucking on it.  I’m pretty sure he groaned. 
The
sound
startle
s
me and I jump
up.  It breaks
his touch
from mine.  His eyes look dazed and confused
and I
jumped at my chance to start
walking away
, t
hank
ing
God he didn’t follow.

My thoughts were scattered all the way home.  I had never felt that pull with anyone else. 
Not e
ven with JT.  Just the thought of him made my cheeks flush.  Dear Jesus, he was
hot as
Hades
. 
He has the longest black eye lashes that
go w
ith those
pretty
eyes.  Since JT
,
I really don’t do relationships.  Well other than Rhye, b
ut that was totally different.
 

Most people at school think that I have become a slut, but I’m not. 
I’m very selective which is why I have Jill helping me
.  Plus
it
i
s not every night
and n
ot even close to every
month
.  It’s just when I have that need and to clarify it’s not a need to have sex.  It’s more of a need to have control.  To control who I give my body to
. 
I subscribe to the whole l
ove
them
and leave
th
em
philosophy
.  That’
s more my style a
nd I
really
do not
like these feelings I am having about Kane.  It already feels like more
and
I’ve only known him for about five seconds. 
I want to stop thinking about t
h
e
stupid conceited jackass. 
 

My phone was buzzing when I pulled into my drive way signaling that I had a text.  I quickly noticed that it was from Jill. 

Jill -
He wants your  #.  BAD
.
Do you want me to give it to him?  He’
s asking 20 million ?’
s. Not
sure what you want me to say.

I decide to ignore he
r
, because my mi
nd is spinning and m
y day just keeps
g
etting better because as I open
my car
door a black 4x4 truck pulls
in behind me. 
Cal
practically
jumps
out before h
is truck even comes to a complete
stop.

“Jay, I’m really sorry about today.  I
left
football practice early because I was worried you were mad at me.  I shouldn’t have
said what I did
.”
Cal
looked u
pset and
he kept talking as he walked right up to me
. 
“I know wha
t
ever shit made you like you are
,
is
none of my
business.  I’ve just been really worried about you
and
I can’t explain it, but
I wanted
to come and talk to you
tonight
.” 

He actually looked sick. 
What is it about this guy that
I couldn’t stay mad
at him
?

“Listen
Cal
, we
a
re good.”  I put my hands up because he looked like he was going to hug me.  “But for the future, stay out of my business and we’ll
be
fine
”.  I look toward my
dark empty
house and realize
that
I didn
’t want to be alone
ri
ght now. 
“Want to co
me in and have dinner with me?”
 
Cal
’s face li
ghts
up.

“Have I ever turned you down when you offered me food?  I
would
even eat that nasty cafeteria spaghetti in fourth grade because I didn’t want you to get in trouble for not eating your lunch.”

“I never knew that.  I thought you either really loved that stuff or
you were
starving.” 
 

“No way
Jay
, t
hat shit was nasty.  I
would
only eat
it for you,
” he says and grins
at me
,
I
can’t help but smile back
.
 

The sun was starting to set as
Cal
and I
walked in
to
the ho
use
and straight
through
to the kitchen.  My parents and I live i
n an upper middle class neighborhood.  It wasn’t gated, but it was a golf community.  Our house
i
s a
two
story monstrosity that over look
s
a golf
-
hole and
large pond
with the kitchen looking like it is
straigh
t out of a high end restaurant.  Not that I ever cook anything. 
We ha
ve
a lady come
s
in twice a week to clean and she usually cook
s
and fr
eez
e
s
dinners for the week.  I set my
iPhone
in the dock and turn on some music
while I pull
out a
pan of
lasagna to unthaw in the microwave. 
The acoustic version of Scream
by
Chris Cornell
fill
s
the quiet. 
C
al
s
tood behind me. 

“What can I do to help
you
with dinner, Jay?
”

“Thanks Cal, but I’ve got it.  Just have a seat on one of the bar stools.”
  He plopped down on a seat.

“So,
where did you go after
school,”
Cal
asked
?
 
Ignoring him at first, I grabbed the lettuce and salad dressing from the fridge and laid them on the counter.  Finally looking at him I wanted
to
tell him
that it was
none of his business, but
I was tired of being snappy to him
.
  I’ve had my limit today.

“Well, I’ve gotten to be friends with one of the bartenders at
O’Malley’s
so I
went to talk with her.”

Cal
looked at me
and said
, “I had heard that you were hanging
out
there a lot.”

“Yeah, you and eve
ryone else
,
” I snapped
. 
He seemed hurt by my attitude. 
Saved by the bell of the microwave I took the lasagna out.  I figured we
would
just eat at the
counter and
handed
Cal
a
plate and silverware.

“Soda okay?”
 
I ask and grab a can from the
refrigerator
.

“Actually do you have any milk?”

“Sure
,
” I reply
and pour him a glass.  We
both eat
pretty much in silence
for a while
. 
Even though I
had
wanted company
,
I kept thinking about
Kane
.