Shadows (Black Raven Book 1) (48 page)

“Best if you don’t go outside today,” Sebastian said. “There’s a large group of your father’s followers keeping vigil on the front lawn. News broke of his location during the night. Agents on your detail will walk Candy in the interior courtyard.”

She nodded. “Agent Scott informed me about them.” The hospital bed had been removed from the room. There was a table, with four chairs. She walked to one of the chairs, decided she didn’t feel like sitting, and turned to him. He stood near the doorway, his posture indicating a desire for a fast exit. “Thank you for bringing Candy here. I didn’t expect that.”

“I thought it would make Spring happy.” He fell quiet, studying her. “A lot is going to happen in the next few days. As soon as your father is stable for a twenty-four hour period, the marshals are going to transport him. You and Spring will leave when he does.”

“Thank you for that information.”

There was another of his long silences. She fought the urge to say anything, just to stop her growing discomfort. His frown and his prolonged silence told her that he was struggling, internally, with something. What and why? Not her problem. He touched his fingertips to his temple, dropping them when he realized what he was doing.

“Headache?”

“Yes, but it won’t be the biggest problem of the day.” If anything, his look became even more serious as he held her gaze. “Have you decided where to live?”

“No. Spring wants to go home.” She gave him a slight smile and a shoulder shake. “I’m not really sure where that should be for us. I always thought that Firefly Island could be a refuge, but not with what happened there,” she shuddered. Sebastian hadn’t given her all the details, but she knew enough. “Besides, Spring needs interaction. The bakery was perfect, because it gave her something to do. I just don’t know if I have the energy to recreate it somewhere else, and if we go to Covington, there’s no way around being Skye and Spring Barrows, thanks to the media.” Over the last forty-eight hours, the media had created a detailed chronology of post-prison break events. “And I’m not sure whether we should do that.” She drew a deep breath, folded her arms to her chest, and mentally shook herself. “Sorry. None of this is your problem. Agent Scott is great. She’s helping me assess the options.” She paused, before adding, “The idea of being in that town and in our beautiful bakery is heavenly.”

“My agents have made sure there’s no sign of what happened there,” he said. “And after a while, the media attention will disappear.”

“Spring’s backpack didn’t catch up to her,” Skye said. “If you can mention that to your agents who are still at the site?” She tried not to tell him too much, but added. “Those tablets with all of her drawings are important to her.”
And I want to destroy them.

He nodded.

Hell. He knew.

She knew he was remembering when he had asked Spring about the drawings in the tablet. “We have the tablets. They’re safe.”

“Not all the code is there. But there are enough answers that would enable extrapolation. It would take a highly skilled analyst to figure it out,” she said, “or a damn smart computer program. Still, those tablets shouldn’t fall into the wrong hands.”

He interrupted her, a serious look in her eyes. “I know that. We have control of everything that was at Trask Enterprises. That’s part of why I’m headed to Washington. There’s a push and pull going on. Right now they’re pulling, but I’m pushing, and I’m doing it with McCollum’s help. He’s got a personal interest in my success right now, because if I fail, he’s going down with me. Believe it or not, the official line with the government is still that your father’s Shadows and LID Technology has not been implemented by any government agency.”

Cool, calm blue eyes assessed her. “No one with the Government wants to publicly admit the degree of citizen surveillance that is taking place. “ He shrugged. “Until the government admits to me that I’ve got custody of state secrets, they’re not getting a damn thing from me. Officially, I took nothing from Trask Enterprises. Unofficially, Black Raven is safeguarding your father’s data for him.

She stared at him with a sudden certainty, brought on by an awareness of how shrewd he was, how everything he did had a purpose. “You’ve found my father’s backup, haven’t you? You have her tablets and you’re trying to make sense of the codes, aren’t you?”

“Officially, no,” he said. “Everything was destroyed. Unofficially, Black Raven has custody of what might ultimately be a very valuable asset. We haven’t made sense of anything yet.”

“It isn’t yours, though. It belongs to my father.”

“I’m aware of that. But your father now has options. The government’s re-arrest of him is a formality. Because of what happened to your father while he was supposed to be under the care of the federal bureau of prisons, he may have leverage that he didn’t have before. Simply put, the government should have known that due to the sensitive nature of the data that your father had created, he was likely to be a target. Yet they did nothing to protect him. That type of callous disregard for risk could be actionable, and could give your father some degree of leniency. There are some things in the works on your father’s behalf that will require his input. Zeus will be here by the end of the day to provide your father some advice, the minute he’s able to focus. At a minimum, your father will need to hire a lawyer, and he’ll need Zeus’ help and your help with that. We have a few names in mind for him, but that’s his decision.

“I’m already doing some behind-the-scenes negotiations regarding a reduction to your father’s sentence. I can’t discuss details. His re-arrest, though, is certain. There will be plenty of press coverage highlighting his return to prison, even if all they’re doing is wheeling him into a prison hospital. You need to prepare yourself and Spring for that.”

She nodded. “Will do.”

“Once he decides on a lawyer, the lawyer will file a motion for a sentence reduction, that, based on the negotiations that are now underway, the government will not oppose, and a federal judge will greatly reduce the remainder of his sentence.” He paused. “I plan to offer him the best job offer he’s ever received. Ragno has now drunk the Kool Aid. She’s persuaded me that he’s an asset Black Raven cannot live without. What Ragno wants, Ragno gets. But a lot has to fall into place for all of this to happen.” There was another long silence. He drew a deep breath. “Look. I really came here to tell you that I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have-”

“Don’t.” She held her hand up, shook her head, and said, “There’s nothing you need to tell me that begins with an apology.”

He squared his jaw. “But-”

“No. Please,” she folded her arms against her chest. He wasn’t going to hug her, so she had to hug herself.
Today is just another day in the life of Skye Barrows. I’ll figure out a way to cope. I always have
.

“I mishandled the operation by letting it get personal, and I shouldn’t-”

“I asked—no,” she corrected herself, “I told you not to apologize again. Consenting adults, and all that.” She shrugged. “Don’t look back. I’m not. Job’s over. You did a great job. Thank you for rescuing Spring and my father. Thank you for bringing them both back to me. Check in with your agents in the future if you have concerns, but we’re not your personal responsibility any longer. I understand that you have to move on.” She did understand, even though it felt as though she was being ripped apart on the inside, even though he was studying her with a serious look of concern in his deep blue eyes. What he was thinking, she couldn’t tell. Whatever it was, though, it ran deep, equally intense as the turbulent emotions she was now feeling.

“Well,” he said, his voice low, his tone concerned. “Can I at least tell you that you deserve better? You should stop settling for nothing.”

Her jaw hurt from clenching her teeth. “You’re not the first man to say that-”

“Maybe not. The fact that I can’t do anything to have a future with you has now become one of the biggest disappointments I’ve ever experienced.”

“Damn. How the hell do you manage to be so stoic in the face of such a disappointment? Because I’ve spent a lifetime acting cool and calm when I feel anything but, and I can tell you, the major disappointments hit me harder than this one looks like it’s hitting you.”

He frowned. “You’re special, Skye. But-”

“But. There’s always a but.” She heard the bitterness in her tone, and didn’t fight it.

“I’m dying to take you in my arms,” he said, “but it’s just going to prolong the inevitable moment when I walk away.”

“Please stop,” she said, cringing on the inside, folding her arms tighter against herself. “I’m barely holding on here. Don’t you understand that?”

He nodded as his blue eyes held hers. His jaw was grim, and a pulse beat at his temple. For a second, the look in his eyes matched the misery she felt, until his eyes became guarded again.

“If the only reason you’re coming to see me is to say you’re sorry, or to tell me you wish there was something there, or to tell me I’m special, I don’t need that. Your agents can handle the business details of protecting us. Black Raven’s deal with my father will be between my father and you. I’ll communicate with Agent Scott and Zeus. I don’t need visits from you, and Spring doesn’t either.”

He nodded, with a slight frown. “I’ll tell Spring goodbye.”

Not a good idea
, she thought, but he walked out of the makeshift conference room and across the hallway, before she could voice a protest. He lifted his coat on the bed, draped it over his arm, and said, with the same soft smile he always gave to Spring, “I have to go now.”

She was sitting at the table, a pencil poised in her hand, eraser side down on the paper, as she worked on a drawing, “But you just got here. Can’t you stay a little while longer?”

He shook his head. “No.”

“Well, tomorrow, right? I’ll see you tomorrow. Won’t I?”

Lie
, Skye thought.
Please lie. Tell her you’ll be here tomorrow. Don’t tell her no
.

His smile slipped and he suddenly had the same serious look he’d had when they’d been across the hall, the look that screamed of a man who was fighting, with tremendous effort, a deep inner struggle. Odd, how she hadn’t recognized it when his focus was on her, when the words he had said were all about her. Now, through the paper thin veneer of stoicism he presented, she saw heartache and heaviness and misery, all in the crystal-clear, blue-eyed gaze that he was giving to Spring, whose overly-developed sense of empathy picked up on it immediately.

Spring dropped the pencil and stood. “Please stay, Sebastian,” she whispered, her eyes wide, her gaze focused on him. Candy, who’d been snoozing at her feet, rose with her, yawning as she did so. “You have to stay with us. Just a little while longer.”

“I can’t.”

“Well, you’re going to come back tomorrow,” Spring said. As her sister pleaded, Skye’s heart twisted. “Aren’t you?”

He cleared his throat. “I’m afraid not,” he said, his voice barely a whisper.

“I don’t understand,” she said, shaking her head, her eyes wide, “Don’t you like us?”

Skye wanted to scream at him to lie. Didn’t he see what he was doing to her?
Oh, dear God
, she prayed silently, as fervently for this as for anything she’d ever prayed for in her life.
Please let this end
.

His glance fell on Skye. It was the heavy look of a man who was waging an internal war with demons that that were too strong to defeat, because they were of his own creation.

“Spring,” Skye said, drawing upon reserves that she didn’t know she had, her voice calm, as she said, “Sebastian has to leave.”

As usual when her emotions started to run and she became agitated, Spring didn’t pay attention. Instead, she reached for a bowl of bright red jellybeans, counted three, and, with them in the palm of her hand, said, “I’ll give you these if you stay. You can always have the red ones if you stay.”

“I’m sorry, I-” he was responding to Spring, but his eyes were on her, his message unmistakably directed at her. “I hope that you’ll forgive me.”

For hurting her, maybe one day
. If he tore her sister’s heart out for one more second, there wasn’t going to be forgiveness.

Spring walked closer to him. “Please, Sebastian. Stay.”

“Go,” Skye whispered. “Just go.”

He heard her, and nodded. Instead of listening though, he drew a deep breath, froze for a second, then turned to Spring.

Spring’s eyes were wide. Tears flowed down her cheeks and dripped to her chin. With her free hand she tugged on the coat that was draped over his arm, while with the other she had her palm outstretched, the three red jellybeans an offering that spoke volumes. Skye had to fight back her own tears, knowing that if she dissolved, it was only going to hurt Spring. “Please stay.”

“Spring, he has to go, now,” Skye said, her voice trembling. She drew a deep breath, walked closer to Spring, and gently placed one hand on her sister’s shoulder, the other on the hand that was tugging at Sebastian’s coat. “Spring, let him go.”

He finally looked into her eyes again. He was winning the war with his emotions, and now he looked more like he had earlier, in the conference room, when he’d spoken to her without Spring present. Strong. Stoic. Removed. As though he was already miles down the road that was going to lead him away from them.