Sky Cowboy (2 page)

Over the years, I had two significant
moments
with Jeremy. 

I’d just gotten my license.  I was seventeen.  I’d spent the day in town at a festival that Pine Creek had put on – it was basically market stalls mixed with a few merry-go-rounds and pony rides.  That night
, a local company had sponsored a massive fireworks display which I had stayed to watch.  I was driving home afterwards and swerved in a panic to miss a mob of kangaroos that hopped in front of me.  My car fishtailed and then went careening off the road and into a ditch.  My head hit the steering wheel with a loud thud as the car came to a sudden halt.  Somehow, the front windscreen had shattered and glass had flown in, cutting my hands, chest and face.  It wasn’t bad, but head wounds always bleed a lot, so there was plenty of blood pouring from me.  My door was jammed shut so I climbed over the passenger seat and got out that way.  I sat down on the grass in shock and looked unseeingly at my car.  I’m not sure how long I had been sitting there, maybe half an hour or so, when Jeremy arrived. 

“Ava, what the fuck happened?  Are you alright?  Fuckin’ shit your face is pissing out blood.  Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

“I’m okay, really.  Head wounds always bleed a lot. My car’s a wreck.”  My words came out sounding emotionless.  Perhaps that’s because I felt numb.

Jeremy
slid his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close, kissing my hair in between whispered words of comfort.

Okay, so it wasn’t really a
moment
but it was something.  Something sweet, tender, beautiful.  And all ours.  Something my sister couldn’t take away from me.

The next moment, really was a
moment.
A big one.  A moment that led to a catastrophic series of events that would change my life and break my heart.

Eight years earlier

I was twenty and devastated; looking to drown my sorrows.  My horse, Jarrah, had passed away during the night.  I’d had her since I was five and she ten when my dad bought her.  It was old age and for the best; she’d been riddled with arthritis.  Even though I knew it was coming, it still hurt like a mother bitch. Mid-afternoon, I took myself off to the local pub, The Cow and Calf, to wipe myself out.  I walked in and sat myself up on a wooden bar stool next to Skip.  Skip is an older man who’s lived in Pine Creek his entire life.  He got his nickname because he’s fondly renowned for skipping in and out of the bar many times during the day to grab a beer or two.

“G’day Ava, how’ve you been?”

“Been better, Skip.  What about yourself?”

“Same old, same old,” he mutters in reply.

“What can I getcha, Ava love?”  Doreen asks.  Doreen is the owner of The Cow and Calf.  She’s also a born and bred local and has the huskiest voice on a woman I’ve ever heard.  She’s one of the nicest and most sincere women I know.

“Hey Dory, I’ll have a shot of tequila and keep ‘
em comin’,” I demand.

“Bad day?” She rep
lies, cocking an eyebrow.

I nod my response.

“You got it.”  She hurries off to get the alcohol and then places the bottle and a shot glass on the bar in front of me.  I set a fifty dollar note on the bar and begin to annihilate myself with good old Patron.

I’d managed to down about half
the bottle by the time Jeremy strolled in looking as edible as always.  Dark wash Wrangler jeans covering his bottom half, black, collared shirt with Wrangler written down his left side.  Scuffed high top boots on his feet – his jeans not tucked in.  Usually a man wearing his boots un-tucked annoyed me.  I thought it looked ridiculous.  But on Jeremy Henley it looked
fucking delicious
.

“Hey
, Jeremy,” I slur.  The alcohol was definitely bringing out my inner bravado.

“Hey Ava.”  He smiles at me and I melt.  I feel like I could slide right off the stool and pool on the floor in a big alcoholic puddle.  “What’s going on?
” He says nodding towards the Patron.

“
Nothing much.” I slur again and then use my fingers to shove my tongue back in my mouth and wipe away any escaping drool at the same time. 

“Want some company?”  He grins cheekily and all I can do is stare at his mouth; hypnotized.  I’m pretty sure my tongue is hanging out but I can’t do anything about it.  My reflexes are too slow and besides, Jeremy is just too delicious.

He chuckles, snapping me out of my reverie, and slides onto the stool beside me.

As we finish off the bottle of tequila together, we start to flirt.  Harmlessly at first
, but then things start getting heated.  I shift in my seat as he blows in my ear and whispers something that I can’t make out.  It doesn’t matter though, it’s still hot as hell.

“I need to pee,”
I slur.  Wobbling as I stand, I make my way slowly outside, towards the ladies room.  Once there, I use the facilities and try to give myself a pep talk.  I need to calm down.  Focus.  Sober up a bit so I can enjoy Jeremy and actually remember having this time with him in the morning.  I wash my hands and walk out, running smack bang into a hard wall of warm solidness.

“Sorry,” I giggle before looking up into the hypnotizing clear blue eyes of Jeremy.  He grips me around the waist and pushes me back into the wall.
  His hand travels down my leg, pausing at my knee to lift up.  Automatically, I curl my limb around his waist.  He leans in and I smell his sweet, warm, alcohol induced breath as it mingles with mine for a split second before he touches his lips to mine.  I moan involuntarily and then gasp as he grinds his hardness against my softness.  His tongue sweeps in and teases mine in an erotic dance.  My hands dive into his soft chocolate brown hair and I grip and tug causing a deep groan to rise from his throat.

“Get a room, Henley,” a voice calls as they walk by.  I immediately drop my leg and push him back slightly.  We’re both panting heavily.  I try my hardest to focus.  I’m so turned on its unbelievable.  I would have let him take my virginity right then and there if we hadn’t been interrupted.  But
, we were.  I take a deep breath and stumble back inside ignoring him calling my name.

“C’mon, love.  Let’s get you a bed for the night.”  Doreen places and arm around my shoulder and leads me towards the cottages at the back of the pub.

The next morning I wake at half past five.  I’ve always been an early riser and I’ve also been blessed with a liver that filters alcohol well, thus meaning I’ve never experienced a hangover.  I stand up out of the bed and look down.  Doreen must have taken my boots off when she put me to bed.  I don’t think I would have been able to coordinate my limbs to achieve the task so it must have been Dory.  I make the bed and leave the cottage. 

The sun is just beginning to peek its head over the hills in the distance
, but there’s not a sound outside to be heard.  I walk out the side gate and make my way towards my mum’s coffee house to work the morning shift.  My heart still aches from the loss of Jarrah, but it’s also beating wildly erratically as I walk down the vacant street.  That’s because I’m wondering if I’ll see Jeremy.  Hoping I’ll see him is more like it.  I wonder if he remembers our kiss last night.  Does he regret it?  Does he want to do it again?  God knows I want to do it again.  And again.  I want to do a lot of naughty things with Jeremy Henley.

“Ava, sweetheart.  I didn’t expect you in this morning.”  My mum
’s greeting snaps me out of my thoughts.

“Hey mum.  It’s fine.  I feel better today.”

“You shouldn’t!  Skip told me he saw you at the pub yesterday with a bottle of tequila.  Really, Ava!”  She admonishes me.

“For fucks sake, mum.  Give me a break.”

“Ava!
Please
.  At least
try
to act like a lady.  Maybe you should spend some more time with Kennedy.  You don’t see her at the pub with whole bottles of tequila, do you?  Why couldn’t you just have a glass of wine, like a lady?”

Of course.  Kennedy is fucking brilliant.  She can do no wrong.  If only my parents knew what a little slut she was, they wouldn’t think she was so lady like!

“Whatever, mum.  I’m here to work.  If you don’t need me I’ll go home and see if dad needs a hand.”  My tone is bored, because this conversation is boring and old.  I hear the same shit every time I cuss.

“
Well, you’re here now, you might as well stay put.”

No surprises there.

I leave the shop after the lunch rush is over.  After arriving home, I grab a shower and then my day officially turns to shit.

“How was your night?” Kennedy asks as I’m towel drying my hair.

“Drunken,” I reply sarcastically.

“Jeremy
’s a good screw isn’t he?  He’s the best I’ve had… by far,” she comments sweetly.  I turn to look at her.  I’m shocked.  I mean, I know that she’s spent a ton of time with both the Henley boys over the years, but I never,
ever,
even considered that she’d slept with one of them.

“What?” I ask sounded choked.  I know I shouldn’t give her any sign of emotion to use as leverage
, but I can’t help it.

“Oh,” she gasps, appearing shocked
, but it’s fake. I could slap her.  “You didn’t know?” A burst of laughter escapes her mouth.  “Oh, I’m sorry, Ava.  But I do remember telling you some time ago that you wouldn’t find a man in this town who wasn’t giving you my sloppy seconds.  Did you forget?”  Her face is a picture of smugness.  I want to rip her hair out and punch her in the face, wiping the arrogant look right off.  I don’t though.  Instead, I try my best to look as blank as possible as I flip my hair back over my shoulder and mutter, “Whatever, Kennedy.”

“Oh my god!” she screeches.  “He didn’t fuck you, did he?  Ha!  Most likely because he doesn’t want second best.  I bet you feel like a worthless piece of shit, Ava,” she grins spitefully.

“Fuck. Off. Kennedy,” I spit, annunciating every word slowly and forcefully.

“Oh, Ava
, Ava, Ava,” she tuts, “I also specifically remember telling you that no guy in this town would want you, and this just proves my point.”  She skips away giggling like a fucking school girl.

What’s the going jail sentence for murder these days?  I could argue mental impairment or something, surely…

With a heavy heart and tears stinging the back of my eyes, I walk towards the stables.  I have so many angry thoughts running through my head, I just need to escape.  I saddle up my horse, Sampson.  Dad and I bought him two years ago when we put Jarrah out to pasture.  He’s a massively built buckskin gelding stock horse.  He’s bred from quality lines and after only a few months of training he quickly became one of the best mustering horses on our property.  I put my left foot in the stirrup and boost myself up, swinging my right leg over his back.  I adjust myself in the saddle and put my iPod ear buds in my ears.  I find the song I need and press repeat.  After a swift kick in the ribs, we’re cantering up the paddock.  I feel the cold wind hitting the tears streaming down my face, but I don’t care.  I just keep riding as I concentrate on the words Brooks and Dunn are singing with Reba McEntire in
Cowgirls Don’t Cry. 

Her daddy gave her
her first pony,

Then told her to ride.

She climbed high in that saddle,

Fell I don't know how many times.

He taught her a lesson that she learned,

Maybe a little too well,

Cowgirls don't cry, ride, baby, ride,

Lessons in life are gonna show you in time,

Soon enough you gonna know why,

It's gonna hurt every now and then,

If you fall get back on again,

Cowgirls don't cry.

I slow Sampson to a walk and pull him under a shady tree.  I climb off and tie his reigns around a branch before collapsing on the ground.  With the music still playing in my ears and tears still running down my cheeks, I try to slow the thoughts swirling in my head.

Jeremy is the only man I’ve ever wanted.  I’ve loved him my entire life.  I’ve never even entertained the thought of any other man because he’s been the only one for me.  But I don’t want someone that’s had my sister.  I want someone who’s just mine.