Teach Before You Fuck (Before You Fuck #1) (7 page)

“Go for it, Laura,” Alex said, “I believe in your judgment.”

“Why the change of heart? Yesterday you called him a ‘dog’.”

“You asked me that already, Laura. I just know that you need my support. Even though I’m your friend, I feel a little bit like your gay daddy right at the moment. I think you need my approval.”

I shook my head again. He was right. I really needed his approval and I trusted his opinion.

“It’s incredible to know that you trust my judgment. It means so much, gay daddy Alex.”

After dinner we watched a trashy sitcom and then Alex left. I knew what I had to do next: call Jonathan and tell him I was done with his thirty year proposal. I had been feeling a little like a kept woman. That was over. The spell had been broken by Nick and then I felt reinforced by Alex.

Chapter Twenty-Six

I curled up in my bed with my phone and dialed Jonathan’s number. It was 10:06 pm and I figured that he would still be awake. I didn’t know if this was a good idea. We hadn’t spoken in a long time, but I wanted to be sure that he was clear that there was no chance for us. Not now, not when I was thirty. Something in me had changed, finally. I had spent my college years focused on my degree, bypassing any chances for a relationship with anyone.

I pushed the numbers. Then I stopped. I took a deep breath and continued.

It started ringing. I said the voicemail prayer.
Please go to voicemail, please go to voicemail, please—

“Hello? Laura? Is everything alright?”

My heart thumped in my chest. It had been a long time since I’d heard his voice. It sounded familiar, comfortable even.

“Oh hi,”
—
for a moment I forgot who I was calling. I almost said Nick
—
“Jonathan, everything is fine. How are you?”

“I’m fine,” Jonathan responded and I heard some rustling in the background, “I’m hanging out with the guys right now, watching the game. What’s up?”

“Jonathan, I just wanted to let you know that…”I stopped and took a breath, “that I want to call off our agreement that if we reach the age of thirty and we are still single, that we would get married. I don’t think it’s healthy to keep this going.”

“Did you meet someone?”

“Jonathan, we have this agreement hanging over our heads and I’m ready to let it go.”

“You met someone, didn’t you?”

“Yes, I’ve met someone and I want to be really clear with you that it’s over and it’s not going to work out for us. Not now, not when we’re thirty. Not ever.”

There was a pause. I thought about hanging up.

“Laura, are you sure? I really thought that we would be together one day. I mean, I’m everything you’ve ever wanted,” Jonathan said, “I can make you happy and comfortable. You won’t have to work.”

“Jonathan, we’ve had some nice times. I’ll treasure what we had, but that was then. I want to move forward in life and that means that I can’t think about a future with you.”

“Wow.”

I felt a weight being lifted off my chest. It was a great feeling. I felt like exploding in happiness. It was finally going to be over.

“Can I see you one more time, Laura?”

“I don’t know about that. Let me think about it.”

“What are you doing this weekend?”

“No, Jonathan. I don’t want to see you. It’s healthy for both of us to move on.”

“Okay, Laura, I wish you the best. You have my number. You can call me any time.”

“Thank you. Bye, Jonathan.”

“Good night, Laura.”

I felt like the puppet whose strings were cut from the puppeteer’s grasp. I slumped down on my pillow, overwhelmed with relief and emotionally exhausted.

I forced myself to get up out of bed and walk to the front door to double check that my door was deadbolted. It was, so I ran lightly back to bed and climbed under the covers. Sleep came easily.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

The next morning I got ready for work as usual. There was a lightness in my step that I hadn’t felt before. I texted Alex first. “Last night I told Jonathan that it’s over and it’s never going to work out between us.”

Alex immediate texted me back, “Woot!! I’m so proud of you. #byebyeboytoy”

Then I decided to text Nick. Why not? I knew that we both wanted to be honest and move forward with clear consciences.

“I dumped my old boyfriend. Even if you and I don’t work out, he was never going to be right for me.”

I didn’t even care that I revealed a lot in that message. I felt freer than ever before. I put my phone into my purse and left for work.

I found that once I got to Whispering Pines Elementary, my classroom demands started immediately. Most of the time anything on my mind vanished as I entered my classroom. But as I started getting things prepared for the day, I kept thinking about my conversation with Jonathan. I broke it completely off with him for me. Yes, Nick being an option spurred me to action, but what I did last night was about me and my well-being. I already felt healthier and happier.

I was writing something on the board in the back and looked up. Nick had entered the room. He closed the door softly. He was wearing a blue polo shirt and his biceps bulged out.  Nick came up to me at the board quietly tiptoeing with a smile on his face. He stood in front of me.

“You look nice in blue—” I said.

Nick leaned down, grabbed me by the waist and kissed me gently on the lips. His lips were soft and luscious. I had forgotten how he kissed and how badly I wanted to be in his embrace.

“I got your text. Did you get mine?” Nick asked.

“No, I haven’t checked my phone,” I said, “I think you’ve conveyed everything in that kiss, though.”

“I broke up with my ex last night too, Laura. She took it kind of hard, but like you said it was time.”

He leaned in and kissed me again.

“That part of my life needs to be over.”

I felt wobbly. If his arms weren’t around my body, I would have slumped to the floor. This magnificent man pretty much declared his love for me. And now I was going to have to teach 23 jumpy little first graders how to read.

“Nick, I think we’re going to get caught,” I stepped away from him with strength I mustered from somewhere. I looked away from those blue eyes. I couldn’t look at him again. I felt my eyes filling with water.

“Yes, of course,” Nick said and playfully slapped his face.

I laughed.

“Can I come over tonight?” Nick asked with a sly look on his face.

I felt tingly all over as a current shot through my body.

“That would be nice,” I heard myself respond. I had leaned slightly on one of the desks to keep myself upright.

“I’ll text you,” said Nick and with that he left my classroom.

Is this what I’ve been wanting?
A romantic encounter with this man, in my house on my turf.
Yes, of course it is
.

I was starting to feel scared. Maybe this was not the best choice for me. Maybe I needed to take things a little more slowly with him.
Did he respect me?
Maybe he was the wrong guy. I didn’t want to make another mistake.

I felt my head spinning.
Maybe I’ll ignore his texts.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

I came home that night and tossed my keys on the table by the door as usual. I checked my cell phone. There were no texts from anybody. I chucked it on the sofa.

I walked straight into the kitchen and decided to make myself my favorite comfort food: mac and cheese with broccoli and ham. While I started boiling some water, I was reminded about why I loved that dish so much. It was something my dad made for me whenever I visited him at the restaurant when I was a little girl. Nothing came from a box when my dad was around. He didn’t need a recipe to make anything. I inherited that confidence in the kitchen, too. I liked to play and experiment. I didn’t need a recipe to make easy stuff like mac and cheese. I wasn’t afraid in the kitchen; it always felt right to create a dish.

Who cares if Nick was going to come over tonight? I just didn’t know what to think about men.

Ding!

That was my cell alerting me to a text message.

I dumped the fusilli into the boiling water and raced over to check up the phone.

It was Alex.

“Girl, I wanted you to be the first to know – I met someone. His name is Jeremy. I think I can say it out loud now. WE’RE DATING!”

 “Wow, congrats!! Where did you pick this guy up? Grinderz?” I referenced an old gay bar that we liked to go to in college when we went dancing together on the weekends.

“Kind of. BUT there’s something to this. It’s new and just fab.”

“So happy for you. Let’s meet up this weekend!!!!”

I felt overjoyed for Alex. He deserved a happy, stable relationship with a caring person. Actually, we both deserved it.

Ding!

Who could it be? I clicked over

“Hey, can I come over?” It was Nick. I did a double take. For a second I thought it was someone else. It was just like a text that I would get from Jonathan.

Well, it’s do or die time.
I had never been the kind of person to take risks. I loved teaching, but I had chosen it because it was a safe profession near my mother. Then I’d kept Jonathan around because even though he wasn’t perfect, he was a known quantity. And after Jonathan and I took a long break, I’d kept out of the dating scene because I didn’t want to open myself up to a man.

“Yes, I’d love to see you Nick.”

Then I thought about the night and texted, “Will you be staying for dinner?”

Now, I’d gone and over done it. I should have just stopped there. Of course I wanted to cook for him. It’s just too fun to feed people.

Every molecule of my body wanted to be with this man, but I also wanted to make sure that this wasn’t just sex. I’d already been through that.

“I’d love to stay for dinner.”

Okay, it’s on.
I felt my body tingling in anticipation.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

I buzzed Nick up and then I heard his knock on the door. I opened the door and he walked in, already taking off his blazer.

“Hi,” he said, almost shyly.

“Hi, Nick,” I said, smiling, “I’m so happy you’re here.”

I reached up towards his face and he grabbed me and lifted me up to him. I held his face in my hands, looking at him for a few seconds. He gazed at me like he was taking me in and then he slowly leaned in to kiss me.

“I feel kind of nervous, Laura. I just can’t believe we are here together.”

I felt nerves when he said that and I had to distract him, “You’re probably hungry. I made my favorite comfort food: mac and cheese!”

We made our way over to the kitchen table and I served him up. It felt similar to the night just several days earlier, us sitting down to eat together, but tonight the stress and worry was replaced with what felt like first-time jitters.

“Oh my God, this is amazing,” Nick said, “You really can cook, Laura. I think this might be the best mac and cheese I’ve ever eaten.”

“My dad was a chef – I told you that, right? Anyway, I picked up a lot of tricks from him and best of all I learned to love to cook.”

I paused, “I actually made this for myself. I wasn’t sure if you were really going to come over tonight.”

Nick looked up at me, reaching out to squeeze my hand, “Really?” 

“You know, this is new,” I looked up to meet Nick’s blue eyes.

“I want to kiss you, but I also want to finish this plate,” Nick laughed.

“Me too,” I smiled, but I felt my appetite vanish. The anticipation of tonight weighed on me.

I just started talking about school and how hard it was to take the place of Mrs. Martinelli, such a loved teacher. Nick shared with me some of his struggles when he first started out teaching seven years earlier.

“Teaching is so tough,” Nick said, “But from everything I’ve seen in your classroom and the things that others have told me, you are doing great.”

“People have talked to you about me?”

“Of course, you’d be surprised how much I know about what happens in the classrooms of our school. And I know about other staff members and how they get along.”

“I took your advice to heart. You know, the advice that you told all the new teachers about staying out of the teachers’ lounge as much as possible during your first year.”

“I know it sounds dumb, Laura, but it really works,” Nick said.

“I stayed out of the teachers’ lounge, but I got trapped in the principal’s office,” I said, looking up from my plate and catching Nick’s eyes. He leaned over the table and kissed me on the forehead.

“I know, the principal was at fault for that. He’s taken with you,” Nick said.

“I’m kind of smitten with him, actually,” I responded.

“Maybe she could sit on the principal’s lap for a second,” Nick continued.

I walked around the table and sat down on Nick’s lap. He kissed me softly on the lips as he put his arms around me.

I started kissing him and I couldn’t stop. I kissed his lips and then I stroked his face. I looked at him with eyes wide open. Up close I hadn’t noticed that he had little freckles on his cheeks, which made him look almost boyish.

He leaned in to kiss me again, but I put my hand on his chest and stopped him.

“Nick, I don’t want to screw this up.”

“Laura,” Nick leaned and kissed me. His lips felt like sweet pillows. I loved tasting him.

“I don’t want to screw this up either. I like you. I want to see where this goes,” Nick said, kissing my cheek. “Laura, whatever happens with our careers and our lives, you are right that this is worth trying. The way I feel about you could never hurt,” Nick said.

I moved my body to straddle him and I wrapped my legs around him. I threw my arms around his neck, kissing his muscular neck. Nick picked me up and carried me to the bedroom. He dropped me gently on my bed and we started undressing each other slowly.

“Nick, let’s hit the shower,” I said, hopping off the bed and grabbing Nick’s hand and leading him to the bathroom. He whipped off his shirt with a laugh and we ran into the bathroom like happy children.