The Infinite Library (88 page)

At the time the alert surfaced, Metapharm was rolling out its proposed extension to its new suite of drugs involving saturation via printed materials. The pilot project was designed to make print materials delivery systems for the whole line of Metapharm drugs such as Grammax, Lexium, Adjectiva, and Metaphorix. The Eldrich employee had asked the billing department to hold off on freezing Douglas' account until he had the weekend to peruse the report and Douglas' stipulated research affiliation further. As chance would have it, this same Eldrich employee was due to have a dinner at the house of Metapharm's Clinical Testing head where both men eventually came to the point in their casual conversation to speak of various highlights and oddities of their respective work week. At the mention of Douglas' attempt at impersonation and stated research aims, the Metapharm employee's attention was snagged on the mention of paper. The Eldrich employee stated that, yes, everything checked out in terms of the required chemicals purchased that their purpose was limited to the paper industry. The Metapharm employee politely requested to see the report and anything else pertaining to Douglas, and made a mental note of the name and billing address. From there, a private company loyal to Metapharm was commissioned to gather information on Douglas and his research. Seeing an opportunity for advancement, the Head of Clinical Testing coveted the information and spoke confidentially to the Vice-President of Research. Douglas was indeed working tirelessly at developing a new kind of paper, and it would be of some benefit to approach him with an offer to assist in the development of the drug-delivery system via printed materials. If anyone knew the ins and outs of paper, and was actively conducting innovative research on developing better paper, it would be Douglas. The Vice-President approved the headhunt operation and personally signed the remuneration and rights package to be offered.

It had been one week since Douglas had gone to the craft store. He was in the middle of an experiment in his work shed when he heard the doorbell ring. Suspecting it was a canvasser soliciting money or offering an alternative home-heating service, Douglas went reluctantly to the front door where he was met with a well-attired representative of Metapharm. Although, it should be said that the man did not represent himself as such right away as a matter of safe protocol.

"I understand that you are currently developing improvements to paper production, and we would like to help," said the man.

"How do you know that?" was Douglas' wary reply, thereby hopelessly giving himself away.

"Is this your signature?" the man asked, producing the order form for Eldrich Chemical Supply.

"No...No, I have no idea what you are talking about. You must have the wrong house, I'm sorry."

Douglas was about to close the door when the man astutely pointed to the empty parcel from Eldrich Douglas had carelessly left in plain view of the foyer. "So your name is not Douglas and yet you have a package from Eldrich Chemicals with Douglas' name on it. Misrepresentation is unlawful, but I'm not here to blow the whistle. I'm here on behalf of a corporation that wants to help with your research. This is hardly the place to do serious research. No offense, but it's unsuitable. May I come in? We have an offer that might be of interest to us both."

Douglas felt flush and dizzy. He let the man in. They both sat in the living room, the man trying not to occupy too much space on his chair lest the squalor of the home dirty his well groomed and evidently expensive right-off-the-mannequin suit.

"We can talk about the specifics of your research in lurid detail later. What I want to offer you right now on behalf of my corporation is a chance to further develop your research in a more suitable environment... We are talking being housed in a fully-equipped research laboratory with a high ceiling for expenses. Great research these days is done by teamwork, and with a good finance supply. The days of Edison and Marconi are gone, times have changed, and real research with substantial results needs firm support and good reach in order to get off the ground."

"What corporation do you work for?"

"You may have heard of it: Metapharm."

Douglas hadn't.

"How did you discover my research interest?"

At this point, the Metapharm representative waved the Eldrich order form with a cocking of his eyebrows. "The only people who order these specific products are those involved in the making of paper."

"Why me?"

"You have potential, and - correct me if my information is incorrect - you're on to something groundbreaking that will revolutionize the face of paper manufacturing. We at Metapharm want to act as your support, your patron in a way."

"I think I can manage fairly well on my own."

At this, the Metapharm representative knew he had to change tack. "Listen, Douglas - may I call you that? - the only reason Eldrich has been looking the other way - and let me tell you that they've known all along about your misrepresentation - is that they don't want to kneecap your obvious research potential. It's a kind of scientific etiquette, but they are under no obligation whatsoever to continue supplying you with what you - and your research - need. If Metapharm hadn't stepped in and taken an interest, Eldrich would have pulled the plug. Sure, sure, you could try the same dog and pony trick with some other supplier, but word gets out...These suppliers may be fierce competitors, but they do talk, they share information, they send each other regular alerts about clients that may in fact be terrorists. People are clamping down these days, and you know it. It's not so easy to get some materials, especially if they can be remotely construed as bomb-making materials. The whole operation of chemical supply has responded with an enormous ramping up of security."

"What is your offer?"

Douglas' seemingly quick yielding resurrected the slick ad-man smile upon the representative's face. "Well, what I just said: a suitable environment to conduct your research. The only catch - and it is a pretty small one compared to what we'll be giving you - is that we need a small favour."

"Here we go."

"Hey, hey, now, Douglas...We believe in innovation as much if not more than anybody else, but we're not a charity. We're not an academic granting body that funds pure research for its own merit. We're a corporation with a very clearly laid out agenda. Remember that this is an opportunity with a rapidly approaching closing date, and that we could just as easily make this same offer to someone who is legitimately in the paper industry. What we need here is your expertise to treat paper. It'll be a snap for someone with your talents. We need a new kind of paper where a certain chemical is part of the weave of the paper. But here's the hitch our lab has struggled with: we haven't been able to make the chemical and the paper compatible without compromising the quality of the paper itself. We need someone with the expert skill to make a superior quality paper that has been treated with our chemical."

"What kind of chemical is it?"

"A longevity agent, nothing more," the representative lied. "We need a paper that will hold together for our newly designed ink that will increase the longevity of all printed material."

"I've never heard of Metapharm. What does your corporation sell?"

"We're idea-people, Douglas. We prefer not to limit ourselves to something so basic as products themselves. We specialize in so many things and we're branching out beyond pharmaceuticals. You might say that our boss is a really eclectic kinda guy," he said with a calculated chuckle. "He's really interested in a lot of things, and the durability of books just happens to fall within his interest end zone."

Douglas was put off by the sports analogy.

"Here," the representative said, offering Douglas an envelope embossed with the Metapharm logo. "What you'll find inside is what we're willing to offer you plus what we're asking of you. Don't worry too much about the contract - it's just the same formal mumbo-jumbo our legal department likes to use."

Douglas opened the envelope and scanned the cover letter with its glittering generalities and vague claims of how friendly, progressive, and future-oriented Metapharm was.

"Let me guide you through this real quick. What it boils down to is that you get your own lab space with all the state of the art gizmos and gewgaws you need. Anything we don't have, we can requisition. You'll have a team of six really sharp lab techs under your supervision to do all the boring data-crunching and stuff. Your expense limit you'll find rather generous."

Which Douglas did. A six figure expense budget.

"You'll also be paid a stipend plus a modest annuity upon completion of your research for us. The annuity kicks in once we've ramrodded your invention through the patent office. Of course, there's just a little red tape here and there. You'll note our insistence on the non-disclosure clause of the contract which I've taken the liberty of highlighting on page eight. There are a lot of nasty people in this game, and they're the type of fierce cutthroat competitors who are really gunning to sink Metapharm, and would stoop as low as to steal our ideas to turn a profit of their own. We don't want any of that, so we have to keep hush-hush about all our research in progress. No double agents in our outfit, so when you sign, you are signing loyalty to us alone."

"It says here that I'll be assigning intellectual copyright to Metapharm."

"More legal mumbo-jumbo...Really what that means is that you are assigning to Metapharm the rights to protect your idea. Look at it this way: if a rival competitor got hold of your idea, do you think an individual is going to have a snowball's chance in hell of having the cash and resources to hire a crack team of lawyers to go to bat for you? Leave all that to Metapharm: we have a veritable army of lawyers on retainer ready to protect your ideas. We're not claiming ideas that aren't our own - we're safeguarding them. Think of us as your big brother, protecting you from the bullies of the industry."

Perhaps against his better judgement, Douglas consented to the offer. Dizzy with the money promised, disoriented by specious corporate jargon of "innovation uplift" and "proxy talent-sourcing", Douglas' suspicions were overwhelmed by a machinery so complex and organized that he began to believe that it had to be a legitimate enterprise.

Nathan was inducted through different, although no less devious, means. The talent research arm of Metapharm was given the task of populating a call list of potential experts on ink, and Nathan's name occurred with such frequency in their talent search that he was placed at the very top of the list. At this time, Nathan was putting the final touches on a primer for studying the ink used in rubrication spanning the years of 1200 to 1400. Making the most of his third sabbatical, he had already toured throughout Europe attending conferences where he was feted to the point of unsurprising regularity. It just so happened, however, that Nathan found himself a little cash-strapped after making an unadvised property purchase. Not that he was in any financial danger, but the need to recoup a few losses was an occasional distraction from his research.

Meanwhile, the list of possible candidates to perfect a chemically-treated ink was submitted to the Chair of the Division for Special Projects Committee. Nathan's name was qualified with the endorsement of being of highest recommendation. The Chair, occupied by Dr Fuse Less as the Acting Chair during the absence of the regular Chair, had a habit of stroking a small cyst tucked behind his ear whenever he came across something particularly good.

"Members of the Committee, I think we have our pigeon. However, this is a well decorated pigeon, and so I would advise that we pursue this from an academic angle. The term 'private sector' is sometimes enough to scare off those with several accolades and staid credentials."

"What's his metier?" asked a committee member who had obviously not bothered to read the circulated list of candidates prior to the meeting.

"An internationally renowned expert on ink in every respect: historical, technical, cultural..."

"Shouldn't we go with someone in the actual industry rather than court academics?"

"This fellow is an exception," Dr Less replied. "He could teach the industry a thing or two."

"Is he snatch-able?"

"Given the right incentives, every man has his price. I can bet that if he'll come quietly, he won't come cheaply. He's on sabbatical right now for the next seven months, so we'll have to move quickly. We only need him for five or six months anyhow, and then he can return to his duties a bit richer in pocket."

"Method of approach?"

"Flattery, but not something that rings insincere and overly obsequious. Go for the academic acknowledgement, but don't make it read like his biography. Insist on the the importance of the research project without giving too many details - just an aperitif to soothe him - and yet let's not sound desperate: say that he would be a vital component, but in no way make or break for our research."