The Only Shark In The Sea (The Date Shark Series Book 3) (7 page)

“I can’t,” Natalie said. “It will only make him angrier.”

“Not reporting it will tell him you’re okay with him treating you like this. He may try to do it again,” Vance said.

That got her attention. The hyperventilating hit so fast there was no hope of Vance talking her down from her panic in time. Luckily, Natalie seemed to be familiar enough with this routine that she fumbled to get both hands loosely over her mouth and nose to capture the carbon dioxide she was exhaling too rapidly to compensate for the large amount of oxygen she was breathing in. People not familiar with panic attacks and hyperventilation might try finding a paper bag for her to breathe into. Natalie was clearly well acquainted with the most current recommendations, and soon her breathing began to calm, even if her fears were still in full swing.

“I can’t file a report.” She said it as a statement, but her voice was pleading.

“Yes, you can. Right now. I’ll stay until it’s taken care of.”

Shaking her head, Natalie said, “But, you have patients to get back to.”

“Not for a while,” Vance reassured her. “I had my receptionist reschedule my next two patients when you mentioned that you’d had a difficult morning. I suspected you might need me to stay for longer than usual.”

Stunned, Natalie stared at him for several seconds before managing to respond. “You really did that? Why?”

To be perfectly honest, Vance wasn’t sure. Yes, his next two patients scheduled for that afternoon were doing very well and had been with him for years. Missing one appointment wouldn’t set them back. Still, this wasn’t something he would normally do. There was something about Natalie that begged for help, and that was a call Vance had never been able to resist. It was difficult to pinpoint why, but he suspected that whatever Natalie didn’t want to talk about was going to rise to the surface more quickly than she wanted, and when it did, she would need someone. Vance already knew he would answer that call, no matter when it came.

Somehow, this woman had become part of him in a way he never would have expected. Yes, he and Stephanie both considered her a friend now, but there was more to it. He wanted Natalie to have a full life, a happy life. It was becoming more difficult to see that happening independent of their friendship. It was a realization that scared him, but not enough to convince him to back off.

“You said someone told you trusting me was worth the risk,” Vance said, still curious about that claim. “I’m just trying to make sure you believe that.”

He wanted Natalie to trust him, and she very desperately needed someone to trust. The peculiarity of his desire to help this woman nagged at him, but in the end, Natalie made the call to her boss and Vance spent the next hour in silent support as she discussed the altercation.

Chapter 9

The Wish

Stephanie carried two plates over to the kitchen table, unaware of Vance’s arrival. Hanging his coat on the hook by the front door, Vance smiled as he breathed in the scent of lemon and garlic salmon. It was Steph’s favorite dish, her form of comfort food. Which most likely meant she’d had a rough day. Abandoning the rest of his things on the table by the door, he walked up behind her and put his arms around her waist.

“Mmm, I didn’t hear you come in,” she said as she melted against him. “How was your day?”

“How was yours?” He would tell her what he could about meeting with Natalie later. At the moment he was more concerned about how exhausted she looked. “Did your meeting not go well?”

Stephanie sighed and pulled out of his arms to return to the kitchen for drinks. “It could have gone better.”

She set down only one glass of wine—which made Vance pause. Clearly, she’d had a long day. While Stephanie rarely drank, days like these were the few times she usually made an exception. Memories of her vicious father being lost in alcohol for days on end held her back any other time. Dropping into her seat at the table, Stephanie gestured for Vance to join her.

“It’s always tough to tell a parent you think their child has developmental problems. I really think this kid needs more help than I can give him, but his parents didn’t appreciate my suggestions at all.” She shook her head. It was difficult to tell if she was more upset by the unpleasant meeting or the idea that her student wouldn’t get the full services he needed.

“Maybe they just need some time to think about it and let what you told them sink in,” Vance suggested.

Stephanie shrugged. “I hope so. He’ll just keep falling behind if he doesn’t get additional help.”

The topic died down as Stephanie dug into her salmon. The tension dropped away with each bite. Vance smiled at her reaction. Steph loved food. She had different meals for different types of days. Her own father wasn’t much for domestic chores, and the various live-in girlfriends and wives were there and gone too quickly to leave much of an impression other than the trauma they inflicted upon Stephanie. Cooking became Stephanie’s job as soon as she was tall enough to turn on the oven, and eventually it became her one comfort.

Both plates were largely empty before Steph was ready to talk again. Not about her own day, but about Vance’s. “How did it go with Natalie? I got your text that you were going to meet her at her office, but I never got a chance to respond.”

That had actually caused Vance a bit of concern, not hearing from her for the rest of the afternoon. He supposed she was just busy, but part of him did worry she was upset with the change. Her interest without any sign of irritation let him breathe a sigh of relief. “It went better than expected,” Vance said. “It wasn’t easy for her, and there was a severe panic attack, but she actually let me ask her questions today.”

“She did?” Steph set down her fork in surprise and leaned forward.

“Just about a problem she’d had this morning, but it’s progress.”

Stephanie smiled. “That’s great, Vance. She’s such a nice person. I really hope she’ll figure out how to trust you enough to help her.”

“Thank you for trusting me to do this,” Vance said. He pushed his dishes to the side and reached across the table for Steph’s hand. “I know it hasn’t been easy.”

Frowning, she shrugged. “She really needs help and I know you can help her like you’ve helped me, but that’s what scares me sometimes.”

When Stephanie shrugged again, Vance pressed a little more. “What do you mean?”

“I know you think I’ll eventually get over my marriage and kids fears, but I won’t.” She frowned, her bottom lip quivering a little. “What happens when you realize that and find someone else to fix, or someone who doesn’t even need to be fixed?” There were tears in her eyes now and she was struggling to hold them back.

More hurt by her words than he was willing to admit, Vance could only say, “Do you really think I only started dating you and stayed with you because I want to fix you? Or that I’d leave you because I found a new challenge?” He shook his head. “I’m with you because I love you. If I didn’t, I would have left a long time ago. Yes, I want marriage and children, but you’re too important to me to just walk away from.” He thought she understood that and felt the same way about his issues.

Vance stood and collected the empty plates from the table, needing a moment to himself. Stephanie didn’t say anything or move to help him. While he cleaned up the dinner dishes, Vance mulled over what had just happened and tried to understand Stephanie’s viewpoint. Did she really believe that or was it just insecurity? He had no idea, but pushing her away even more wasn’t the answer. Setting the last dish in the dishwasher, Vance walked over to Stephanie who was lying on the couch as she watched one of her favorite fashion related channels.

She really didn’t look like she was feeling well. Maybe that had spurred some of her comments. “Hey, you doing okay?” he asked as he sat down on the arm of the couch.

“Just a headache. Long day.” She reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze but made no move to make space for him on the couch.

Vance loved that she gave so much of herself to her students, but it meant she took it hard when things didn’t work out. He doubted that was all that was bothering her, but he didn’t press. Part of him made the excuse that she was tired. Another part simply didn’t want to hear her say things like she’d never change or overcome the last of her fears. An old pang of sadness settled in as he thought about the unlikelihood of them ever having children. She had such a big heart, so much capacity to love, but he knew better than to bring it up. Did she really mean what she said about never changing her mind or overcoming her fears?

“Do you want me to get you some aspirin?” Vance asked, trying to distract himself from things he didn’t want to think about.

“No, I think I’ll just head to bed after this episode, but thanks.”

Leaning down, Vance kissed her forehead. “I need to make a quick call, but I’ll be back to check on you in a few minutes.”

“No rush,” Stephanie said. “I’m not going anywhere.”

He kissed her again before taking his phone into the bedroom. Deciding not to push Steph or push her away didn’t diminish his concern that something was really bothering her. If she were going to confide in anyone, it would be Sabine. He and Sabine talked fairly often, especially after everything Guy and Charlotte had been through over the last year. He not only hoped Sabine held a clue, he’d also begun to suspect she had been the one to convince Natalie to trust him. He also suspected the advice had something to do with Stephanie.

It had been too long of a day to figure out the time difference between Chicago and wherever Sabine was staying that week. He brought up her number and hit send, figuring he would just leave a message if she didn’t answer. To his surprise, Sabine picked up on the third ring.

“Vance, it is so good to hear from you,” Sabine said. “How are you and Stephanie doing?”

“That’s kind of why I was calling. Part of it anyway,” he said.

Sabine sighed as if she had been expecting him to say something like that. “What is happening?”

“I don’t know,” Vance admitted. “I know it partly has to do with Natalie and our less than traditional setup and relationship, but she won’t really talk to me about it. She says she’s fine with it, told me to invite her to
Sansa’s
, really seems to like her and be concerned about her, but I know it’s still bothering her a lot.”

Murmuring her assent, Sabine said, “It is a difficult situation, but it is her own issues she is battling, not her trust in you. When we have talked lately she has mentioned several times that she thinks you will give up on her someday. It is a very real fear for her.”

The first words that jumped to Vance’s lips were that he would never leave her, but they seemed to stick there. That wasn’t like him and he didn’t know what was holding him back.

“Vance?” Sabine asked slowly. “Is she correct?”

“No,” he said. “I mean, it’s not like I’m thinking about it or planning to leave, but…she said tonight that she’d never change. Like she was determined not to no matter what. I love her, but there are times I can’t help being angry with her that she doesn’t want the same things I do, or that she can’t handle them. It’s unfair…”

“It is understandable,” Sabine cut in. She was quiet for a moment before daring to say what was on her mind. “At some point you will both have to face this and decide where your futures lie, together or apart.”

Vance’s shoulders fell. He knew she was right, but he wasn’t ready to admit it yet. “There was another reason I called. I had a question for you.”

“Yes? About what?” If she was annoyed at him for changing the subject, she didn’t let it show.

Vance hesitated for a moment, but decided to just ask. “Did you say something to Natalie last weekend about trusting me?”

Several seconds of silence greeted Vance before Sabine said, “
Oui
, I did. Was I wrong to do so?”

“No, not at all. I was just curious about what you said, because it seems to have had an impact on her.”

Sabine sighed in relief. “I only told her that Stephanie had placed her trust in you when you first met, and that you had helped her a great deal. I expressed to Natalie that trusting you to help her would not be a mistake. I did not know she would put such value on my words.”

“Well, it seemed to have really made a difference with her, so thank you.”

“I did nothing at all. Natalie is a very nice person, broken and damaged, yes, but most of us are,” Sabine said seriously.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Vance couldn’t help his next comment. “You know, there was a time when it wouldn’t have mattered how nice you thought Natalie was. You still wouldn’t have gotten involved.”

“Perhaps I am finally growing up a bit, yes?” Her teasing laugh flittered across the line.

Her transient lifestyle was something Vance frequently poked fun at. She was a gorgeous woman, wealthy, sophisticated, and nice even, yet she ran off every few days to have a new adventure, never sticking around long enough to remember a new friend’s name. Vance had often teased her that she lived the life of a perpetual teenager and would fit in perfectly in Neverland.
Peter Pan
had long been her favorite book, one she read several times a year.

“That seems to be catching,” Vance teased. “Next thing you know you’ll end up like your brother, married with a child.”

“Oh, you mean happy?” Sabine said with a laugh. “You think I am not already happy?” Despite her playful mocking, Vance knew that one day Sabine did want all of that. It would just take her a while to let down her own barriers enough to find it.

Thinking of his friend one day being happily married with children that would no doubt be just as stunning as she was dampened his mood regardless of how happy the thought made him. Vance meant it every time he told Steph he was happy with her, but it had gotten harder to imagine it being just them for the rest of his life when he wanted so much more.

Maybe it was the impending arrival of Eli and Leila’s baby, or seeing Guy and Charlotte so happy with little Warren despite the trials they had faced. Maybe it was the fact that he was already in his early thirties and the prospect of ever convincing Stephanie to have a child with him was shrinking every day. It might have been watching Steph pouring her heart and soul into her students, knowing she would never do the same for their child. It might also have had something to do with Natalie.

Maybe it was everything altogether.

“I think it would break her, having children,” Sabine said, somehow knowing his thoughts. “Watching her father mistreat all those women and cast off her half-siblings, and the horrible way they all treated her and blamed her for her father’s actions…she is so terrified of making the same mistakes that I do not think she will ever be able to overcome it.” Sabine released a breath slowly, pausing before speaking again. “It torments her, knowing how much you want a family, but not being able to give it to you. She wishes it could be different, that she could be different. For you.”

A small part of him was angry at Stephanie for not being able to change, but his love for her remained. She had already overcome so much. He had promised to be there for her no matter what and felt he had no right to ask her to change who she was. He wasn’t sure where that left them.

“Speaking of babies, I just got a text from Eli. They are headed to the hospital!” she squealed.

Vance’s phone buzzed a second later with the same message. A follow-up text promised to keep them updated and let them know as soon as their new addition arrived. Sabine was called away shortly after and Vance went back into the living room to find Steph asleep on the couch. He carried her to their bed and lay down beside her, pulling her against his chest, burying deep the wish that things could be different.