The Only Shark In The Sea (The Date Shark Series Book 3) (9 page)

That hurt almost as much as her lies and betrayal. “I would never hurt you like that.”

He couldn’t take anymore. She begged him not to leave as he turned for the door, but he had to get away from her until he calmed down. He got a few steps away before her crying forced him to look back. The sight of her lying on the floor with her hands wrapped around her head like she couldn’t take the pain almost broke him. The piercing sting of what he’d just learned was too fresh, too deeply cut for him to give in, so he turned and walked away. The front door slammed behind him as he left, the sound of her sobbing echoing in its wake.

He was barely out of the apartment building before he yanked his phone out of his pocket and called the one person he thought might be able to give him answers.

“
Bonjour
,” Sabine answered happily. “How is the darling baby Amelie?”

“Did you know?” Vance snapped. “About Stephanie? About the pregnancy and the abortion?”

“Vance, I am so sorry,” Sabine whispered.

He fell against his car, sliding down until he was on his backside cradling his head in his hands. “You knew?”

“No, my friend, but I suspected.” She sighed, and he heard the deep sympathy in that simple exhale. “She kept telling me she was just sick, but her emotional state was strange for weeks before that. She had been calling me quite often, talking about her fears that you would get tired of her and leave because of her issues. I did everything I could to reassure her that you would never leave her, but she kept bringing up how much you wanted children and how terrified she was of having to face raising a child. I thought perhaps she just had a scare, but even after she was well again there was a difference in her. It was months before she seemed to shed her burden and regain her usual cheer. I suspected I knew what had happened, but I never confronted her about it.”

“She was going to do it again,” Vance said, his voice breaking on the last word.

Sabine gasped. “She is pregnant again?” Sabine let out a long and rather unsteady breath. “She at least told you this time, yes? You can discuss it?”

“She didn’t tell me. I came home early and found her crying in the bathroom and saw the test. She had no intention of telling me a damn thing.”

“Oh, Vance,” Sabine said with a voice full of sympathy. “I am so sorry for you. I do not know what to say.”

There was silence for a long time on both ends of the conversation. The heaviness that seemed to be grinding Vance into the asphalt below him was relentless and it was all he could do to not break under the pressure. “She won’t keep it, no matter what I say, will she?”

Sabine was her closest friend. She saw what Vance was too blind to see two years ago. She was Stephanie’s confidant. He couldn’t breathe as he waited for her response. “No,” she said softly. “I do not think she will keep the baby.”

Finally, Vance broke down. Sabine listened patiently as he poured out his hurt and sorrow for the children he would never meet, for the woman he loved but didn’t think he could ever forgive, for his failure to live up to his promises.

“I don’t know if I can get past this,” Vance said. The suffocating emotions he was drowning under barely made his words intelligible, but Sabine understood all the same.

“I know you love her very much, and she loves you, but you both want such different things out of life,” Sabine said. The compassion in her voice echoed over the line, a small comfort to Vance as he felt ready to split open. “Give her time. Give yourself time. Talk when you are both calmer. Do not give up on each other yet, but this is something you have both been putting off facing since you met.”

Wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, Vance said, “It’s not just the babies…” He stumbled over the word and had to bite back another collapse to continue. “She lied to me, hid both pregnancies from me. She never even gave me a chance to talk about it with her. She didn’t trust me not to force her into something she couldn’t handle. It kills me that she was carrying my child and got rid of it, and that she’ll do the same thing again no matter what I say, but despite how angry I am about that, I understand her terror at being a parent. But how could she think so little of me that she would hide all of this and lie right to my face about something this huge?”

“I do not know,” Sabine said quietly. “It is difficult for me to understand as well.”

He was lost. He had no idea what to do in that moment. He couldn’t stand the thought of going back to his apartment and facing Stephanie after everything that had just happened. He was liable to say something he would regret. The anger roiling inside of him was too volatile to attempt a civil conversation. He couldn’t make a rational decision about their relationship right then. He had to leave. At least for a while.

“Sabine, can you call your brother and ask him to check on Stephanie?”

“Where are you going?”

Vance shook his head, because he hadn’t a clue. He was about to say so when his phone vibrated against his head and he remembered Natalie. “I have an appointment with a patient I need to get to, with Natalie.” Sabine started to object, but he cut back in. “Sabine, I can’t deal with any of this right now. I just can’t. Natalie called me on the verge of a meltdown this morning. I am so furious with Stephanie right now that I just need to focus on someone else’s problems for an hour before my head explodes. I’ll get a hotel room after that until I cool down, but I don’t want Stephanie left alone all night. Will you call Guy for me?”

“Of course,” Sabine said. “Go speak with Natalie. I hope she is all right.”

So did Vance. After everything that just happened upstairs, he’d completely forgotten about her. Now that he was desperate to focus on anything but his own collapsing relationship, worry crept back in. His anxiety about something not being right with Stephanie had proven all too true, but he hoped the same wouldn’t prove true for Natalie as well. There was only so much he could deal with in one night.

Chapter 12

The Tension

Perhaps her own anxiety made Vance’s lack of response seem strange. He had been adamant all day that she kept in contact with him. She had been expecting a text shortly after six o’clock, but when it never came, she texted him to see if everything was all right. Still not getting a response, the emptiness of the office building wasn’t the only thing making her jumpy. At a quarter to seven, she texted him again. And waited.

Gasping in fear and nearly falling out of her chair for the second time that day when her phone finally rang, she dropped it twice before managing to answer the call. “Vance? Are you okay? Is everything all right?”

She could almost swear she heard his breathing hitch, but he carried on so quickly she thought she must have imagined it. “Aren’t I supposed to be asking that question?”

Why did his voice sound so strange? It was raw and heavy, not like him at all. The dodge suggested he didn’t want to talk about it. She knew that tactic well enough to let it go. “Are you still okay meeting with me tonight?” she asked timidly. She begged him to say yes, even though it seemed as though he’d already had a long and trying day.

“Yeah. Where are you? Did you still want to meet at the café?”

“I’m still at work, but the café is good.”

“You’re still at work?” he questioned. “Why?”

She didn’t want to tell him that she was too afraid to leave. Not yet, anyway. She was still terrified, but she held back on the childish request that he meet her there and walk her to her car. She probably would have if the building wasn’t locked up and getting Vance in would mean getting the night guard involved, as well as questions she didn’t want to answer.

“Just a busy day,” she lied. No doubt he heard it for the falsehood it was, but he let it go. “I can be at the café in about fifteen minutes.”

“Great, I’ll meet you there.”

He hung up before she could ask if Stephanie would be there. Something told Natalie that was exactly why he’d done it. Vance was always polite during their calls and rarely hung up without some sort of reassurance that she would be okay. On edge from his strange behavior, getting up from her chair was even harder than usual. She was half tempted to call the night guard to come walk her out. She had made that mistake once and planned never to repeat it again.

Escorting a woman to her car in no way required touching, something Simon didn’t seem to understand.

Gathering up her fraying courage along with her belongings, Natalie bolted for her office door. She unlocked it, maneuvered through the opening, relocked it, and was sprinting for the stairwell in record time. Sweat dripped down her back and she was struggling to breathe by the time she made it to the garage level, but she ran again. Remote start and unlock functions had her car running and ready to be dived into by the time she reached it. Two seconds later she was strapped in with the doors locked.

After her frantic escape, she only took a quick minute to catch her breath before putting the car in reverse and making a run for the only person who actually made her feel safe. She was hypervigilant the entire drive. Even though she knew it was crazy to think either Samuel or her father would jump out at her on the street and somehow win a confrontation, irrational fears and Natalie were a tight-knit pair. It felt like the first breath she dared to take wasn’t until she parked next to the café and shut off the engine.

Somehow, Natalie drummed up enough fortitude to make the short walk to the café entrance. Darting inside, she scanned the rather full restaurant for her safe haven. Her relief was felt all the way down to her toes when she spotted him at a table in the back corner, head in his hands.

That sight was finally enough to stall her paranoid panic. She had called him hours earlier, begging for a meeting because her own problems were catching up to her. It wasn’t hard to puzzle out that Vance was the one in need of the most help. Seeing him like that affected her deeply, opening up some well of strength she didn’t even know she had. Normally so professional and pulled together, Natalie steadied herself when she sat down and Vance looked up at her with red eyes and a haze of deep-seated pain surrounding him.

“You’re not even close to okay,” she said without thinking.

Vance blinked a few times before managing to respond. “No, but you’re the one who needs to talk.”

“I can wait, Vance. Do you need to go home? Is Stephanie all right?”

Every muscle in Vance’s body went rigid at the mention of his girlfriend’s name. Shocked would have been putting Natalie’s reaction mildly. Stephanie and Vance were one of those couples that make everyone else want to gag. Not Natalie, because she thought they were adorable, but she could imagine their closeness could annoy other couples because they seemed so perfect together during their lunch sessions. Sabine had hinted that Stephanie had more issues than she let show on the surface, but something was definitely not okay with them.

“I’m sorry,” Natalie said quickly. “I didn’t mean to pry.”

Sighing, Vance deflated and fell back against the bench. “It’s not your fault. Things are just…difficult right now. I’m sorry if I’m taking it out on you.” He dragged his hands down his face and sighed. “I probably should have just rescheduled, but I was pretty worried and I needed to…do something helpful.”

It was killing Natalie not to ask what was going on. She knew it wasn’t her place. Despite their unusual patient-client setup, Vance was her psychiatrist, and there was a line. A blurry line, maybe, but it was there somewhere. Tucking away her concern, she said, “Well, I’m pretty much always in need of help, so it sounds like you made the right choice.”

Her attempt to lighten the mood fell flat when Vance’s brows knit together in concern. “What’s going on? You sounded really scared when you called this morning.” He paused and pointed a finger at her. “And don’t tell me it’s probably nothing, because it clearly isn’t.”

“I wasn’t going to,” Natalie said slowly. “This time, I think I’m actually in trouble. Not the imagined kind, or the irrational kind I know is just me overreacting. The real kind.”

Whatever Vance had left behind at home, his whole focus was suddenly directed squarely at Natalie. “What happened?”

Somewhat overwhelmed by his intensity, it took her a few seconds to respond. “Well, probably the lesser of the two things that had me in a panic this morning is that Samuel didn’t show up for work today after being notified about the complaint yesterday and no one knows where he is. My boss said it was probably nothing to worry about, but I don’t know. Samuel has a temper and it freaked me out to think he might try to get even for the report.”

“That’s the lesser of your problems?” Vance shook his head. “That is not a small problem. If he doesn’t show up at work again tomorrow, you need to talk to your boss about making sure you’re protected. You shouldn’t be entering or leaving your office building without a security escort until they figure out where Samuel is. I trust you had security walk you to your car tonight, right?”

The guilt that instantly sprang to her face made Vance turn his hands up in frustration. Hating the idea of disappointing him, she said, “The guard, Simon, he’s very
handsy
. He kept touching me the last time I asked for an escort.”

“Touching you how?” Vance demanded.

“Just on the back or shoulder,” she spit out hurriedly. Vance was always concerned about her, but he seemed unusually edgy. “He was just guiding me or whatever. Overly friendly. Not aggressive at all.”

Vance’s shoulders dropped some, but they were still taut with anxiety. “I know how difficult being touched is, but you’re going to have to risk it until Samuel turns up and proves not to be a danger. Just be firm with the guard and set boundaries, okay?”

He kept his gaze locked on her until she finally nodded. Her agreement let him relax against the bench as though he’d forgotten that Samuel was the lesser of Natalie’s problems. She hesitated to disturb him and rile up his protective side again, but she needed his advice and support.

“About the other problem…”

Vance straightened immediately. “What?”

The truth was desperate to all come spilling out. Part of Natalie thought it would be a relief to just dump it all on Vance so he understood. She couldn’t. Not only was it too painful to relive, fear that Vance would hear the truth and look at her the way everyone else had was too devastating to even consider. Instead of coming clean, she gave him as much as she could.

“My father…he found me.”

Okay, that was barely more than a random statement, but even considering uttering anything more than that had Natalie’s heart rate climbing to the rafters. Vance could clearly see her panic. It seemed to switch something on in him. Whatever weight he was being buried under, it stepped off for a moment. His calm returned and his voice finally sounded like what she expected.

“Natalie, keep breathing, and when you’re ready, I need you to explain why your father finding you is a bad thing.”

Waiting patiently, Vance held her gaze while she worked to bring her fears back under control. When she was finally ready, she took one more deep breath and gave the best answer she could. “I ran away. When I was eighteen.”

“You haven’t seen your family in seven years?” Vance asked.

Natalie shook her head. “I hoped it would be longer. Never, actually.”

The twitching of Vance’s hand was distracting. She had never seen him do that before. Knowing whether it was due to whatever problems he had at home or her refusal to give him the full story was little more than a shot in the dark, so she ignored it as best she could.

“Natalie,” Vance said slowly, “I’m trying very hard to stick to our agreement and let you lead the topic, but I feel I have to ask for at least a little more information so I can understand what kind of threat you’re facing.”

Natalie nodded. She understood. Doing anything about it was like trying to pick up a mountain and toss it into the ocean. Vance waited, but the twitching got worse. It was so distracting she had to look away. “I ran away because I couldn’t stand to be in their home or that town any longer.”

“Why not?” Vance pressed.

Squeezing her eyes shut, Natalie drew on the newly discovered strength that had popped up after seeing Vance in so much pain. She had to trust him. “My father was very controlling. He had all kinds of ridiculous rules, and when he felt like I had broken one, he punished me. Not hitting me or anything like that—though others weren’t so lucky—but he knew how to scare me and keep me in line. He did the same to my mother, which she then turned on me. Anything bad that happened, it was my fault.”

Vance’s hands twisted together. “Did something more upsetting than usual happen to make you run away?”

As much as Natalie wanted to keep talking, that part of her life was shut behind so many doors with heavy chains there was no chance of her dredging it up now. “Yes,” she said simply, but couldn’t bring herself to expound. “My dad blames me for what happened and thinks I deserve to be punished. When he called today, he demanded I come home and pay for what I’d done. I was so scared, I couldn’t even say anything. I just hung up and shut everything out.”

To Vance’s credit, he didn’t push for more, but he still had plenty to say. “You think your father will try to force you to go home? Natalie, if that’s true, if you think he might hurt you, you need to consider filing a restraining order with the police. Obviously, I don’t know your father from any random passerby, but I can see how terrified you are of having to confront him.”

He started to reach out, but he pulled his hand back before Natalie even had a chance to react. Vance frowned, not at her, but at whatever he was thinking. “Is he dangerous?”

Natalie’s immediate response was a resounding yes, but she was a grown woman and the police wouldn’t do anything about her complaint that her dad was hateful and controlling, or even emotionally abusive. Maybe a judge would still give her a restraining order, but what good would that do if no one was there to enforce it? Besides, even though she had spent the entire day looking over her shoulder, physical violence had never been her father’s style. He had other ways of breaking someone to the point that they lost everything, including their hope.

“I don’t think he’ll try to hurt me,” Natalie said slowly, “but he’s dangerous in other ways.”

The calm Vance had managed to find so briefly dissolved as if a strong breeze had carried it away. “Thank you for trusting me enough to be honest.”

He had made similar statements before, but never with so much emotion backing his words. Natalie knew right away that only a small portion of that had to do with her. Sabine had told her she could trust Vance with her secrets, and she was learning to believe that. Trust was obviously important to Vance, something he prized very highly.

Natalie wasn’t sure where the realization came from that someone Vance trusted had clearly broken his heart, but she ached for him as they sat there in silence. He’d claimed Stephanie was sick. In all honesty, before that night, she never would have considered the possibility that Stephanie could ever hurt Vance or that their relationship might end one day. His earlier reaction and his broken demeanor said everything he couldn’t.