The Prince of Punk Rock (13 page)

Tommy was in charge of everything
in his life. He knew what he wanted and he went after it.
 
He was in control, which is probably why he
struggled so much with his attraction to men.
 
It was something he couldn’t deny.
 
Something he didn’t have control over.

Jessi
knew he was struggling with his feelings for Angel.
 
He never talked about it, but she knew.
 
When Tommy was near Angel, he shined.
 
That was the only word she could use to
describe it.
 
There was a light in his
eye, an ease in his personality that she never saw before – like Tommy was finally
truly happy, deep down inside.
 
A small
part of her wondered if Tommy would be just as happy if she stepped out of the
equation, but she tried not to think about it.

It was
only a matter of time before the situation came to a head and exploded.
 
Someone already pulled the pin out of the
grenade and she was waiting for the explosion.
 
When the smoke cleared she had no idea where the pieces would land. Even
though the three of them shared a harmonious and close relationship, once Tommy
and Angel connected on a sexual level, their world would change.
 
In the end, there may only be one man, or
woman, standing at Tommy’s side.
 
It
scared the hell out of her, but she couldn’t do anything about it.
 
She knew going in that Tommy was bisexual,
even though he refused to put a label on his sexuality.

She
wasn’t jealousy.
 
She was afraid.
 
You couldn’t dictate who you loved.
 
It wasn’t possible to choose which sex you
were attracted to.
 
But what happens when
you’re attracted to both?
 
Loving two
people at the same time and making it work seemed unrealistic.
 
She understood that asking Tommy to choose
between her and Angel wasn’t a possibility.
 
Ultimatums backfire.
 
Plus, she
always knew Tommy needed a man in his life.
 
She never tried to kid herself into thinking he didn’t.
 
She went into this marriage with her eyes
wide open.
 
She only hoped that there was
room for her in Tommy’s life after he got together with Angel, otherwise she
would step out of the picture.
 
She wouldn’t
take a back seat to anyone.

Chapter Fourteen

A pair of luminescent green eyes
smiled at Angel through the congested bar.
 
There was only one person who possessed those bright green eyes – Kenny
Henderson.

They walked toward each other,
squeezing through the crowd of people, until they were facing one another. “I
can’t believe it.
 
What are you doing
here?”

“Is that any way to greet an old
boyfriend?” Kenny asked.

Angel kissed him lightly on the
lips and gave him a hug.
 
Kenny clung to
him for several seconds.
 
When he looked
back into Kenny’s eyes, they were full of emotion.
 
“Is everything OK?”

“Not really.
 
I’m just a little down, and I thought some
music would cheer me up.
 
I found this
flyer on the windshield of my car.”
 
Kenny pulled it out of his pocket and unfolded it.

“That’s Jessi’s work.
 
My guitar player’s wife.
 
She’s a firecracker.”
 
He touched Kenny’s arm. “I’m really glad you
came to see the show.”

Kenny smiled back, but there was so
much pain in his eyes.
 
It broke Angel’s
heart.
 
“What’s the matter?
 
You look like you lost your best friend.”

Kenny pressed his lips
together.
 
“I kinda did.
 
I broke up with my boyfriend a couple of days
ago.
 
He said he wanted to see other
people.”
 
Kenny swallowed hard.
 
“I’m so lonely and heartbroken.
 
I could really use some company tonight.
 
My broken heart could really use some
comforting.”

“You poor thing.
 
Of course I’ll be there for you.”
 
He hugged Kenny, and when he broke the
embrace, Tommy was standing at his side, scowling.
 
It caught Angel off guard, and he waited for
Tommy to say something, but Tommy just stood there with his arms folded across
his chest.

Angel introduced Tommy to Kenny,
but it was awkward.
 
Kenny didn’t say
much, but it was understandable.
 
Kenny
was always shy, and he was sad and vulnerable right now.
 
Tommy was being standoffish, almost
rude.
 
It was uncomfortable.
 
He excused himself from Kenny and pulled
Tommy aside.
 
“What’s going on?”

“You tell me.”

“Are you mad or something?”

“Is that guy an old boyfriend?”

“Yeah. Why?
 
Is there a problem?”

“I don’t know.”
 
Tension pulled at the corner of Tommy’s
mouth.
 
“What does he want?”

Tommy was jealous, and Angel was
thrilled.
 
It meant Tommy cared.
 
It meant Tommy had real feelings for
him.
 
Up until now, Angel wasn’t entirely
sure that Tommy wasn’t just playing games.

“Are you going to sleep with that
guy?”

Angel still didn’t know how to
answer.
 
Maybe this was the perfect time
to verbalize their relationship instead of tossing innuendo back and
forth.
 
“What if I said yes?
 
Would you be upset?”

“I’m already upset.”

“Really?”
 
He smiled.
 
“Well, what does that mean, mi amor?”

Tommy tried to suppress a smile,
but he wasn’t doing a good job of it.
 
“What did you just call me?”

“Mi amor.
 
It means, my love.
 
You
are
my love, you know.
 
What are we doing, Tommy?
 
Me and you.
 
Spell it out for me.”

Tommy took a long time to
answer.
 
“I don’t know.”

Angel exhaled.
 
“I can’t keep my life on hold.”

“I’m not telling you what to do.”

“Tommy . . . I don’t want you to be
mad at me.
 
If something’s on your mind,
you have to tell me.”

Tommy looked past Angel and studied
Kenny.
 
“Go. Your friend looks
upset.
 
He looks like he needs someone to
talk to.”

“You sure?
 
Because I don’t want you to be mad and not
talk to me tomorrow.”

“I’m sure.”

“Thank you . . . mi amor.”
 
He put his hands on Tommy’s impressive
shoulders, which was probably the wrong thing to do.
 
The hard rounded muscles were strong, and all
he wanted to do was caress them.
 
And he
did.
 
Slowly.
 
Never averting his gaze from the taught flesh
that strained underneath the black Motörhead tee, he lightly ran his hands over
the arch of Tommy’s shoulders.
 
He
skimmed the top of Tommy’s substantial upper back and leaned in for a hug.

Tommy returned the embrace. The
solid muscles in their chests bumped into each other, and got acquainted.
 
It only lasted a few glorious seconds before
Tommy slid his hands from around Angel’s waist and stepped back.

He kissed Tommy on the cheek and
paused to read his pensive eyes.
 
They
said so much.
 
Why couldn’t his mouth do
the same?

Angel listened with a sympathetic
ear, as Kenny lamented about his ex-boyfriend.
 
They talked for hours, late into the night.
 
Kenny was a sweet, sensitive guy, and he was
devastated by the breakup.
 
He deserved
someone who loved him.
 
He was so sad,
and Angel’s heart went out to him.

Angel put his arm around Kenny’s
shoulder to comfort him.
 
Kenny looked
back at him with those intense green eyes.
 
They were mesmerizing.
 
Captivating.
 
Once they had you under their spell, it was
impossible to look away.
 
Kenny slowly leaned
closer and their lips met in a gentle kiss.
 
It wasn’t the usual rough, forceful kiss Angel was accustomed to.
 
It was tender and slow and it begged for
love.

Tommy face popped into Angel’s head
and his eyes flipped wide open.
  
He
stopped kissing Kenny and sat back on the couch. “I’m sorry.
 
I …. I can’t do this.
 
I wish I could, but I can’t.”

“Your guitar player?”

Angel nodded.

“I knew there was something going
on between you two.”

“Yeah.”
 
Angel sighed and looked off into the
distance.
 
“I just wish I knew what it
was.”

“Why, because he’s married?”

“I think that’s part of it, but I’m
afraid to scare him off by forcing the issue or making a move.”

“You really care about this guy,
don’t you?”

“Yeah, I do.
 
I’m falling in love with him.
 
That’s why I don’t want to fuck it up.
 
I’m sorry, Kenny.
 
I didn’t mean to . . . I should go.”

“No. Please don’t go.
 
I just need a warm body next to me.
 
I feel so alone.
 
I just want someone to hold me.
 
Please, Angel.
 
I won’t . . . we don’t have to. . .”

“OK.
 
It’s OK, Kenny.
 
I’ll stay with you.”

“Thank you.
 
I really need someone right now.”

They snuggled together on the couch
for a long time without saying anything.

“About your guitar player,” Kenny
broke the long silence, “I hope you don’t think he’s gonna leave his wife for
you, because—”

“No, I know he’s not leaving his
wife.
 
They really love each other.
 
I don’t want to break up their marriage.
 
I would never do anything to hurt Jessi.
 
She’s like . . . my best friend.” Angel never
realized how close he and Jessi had become.
 
He talked to her about everything, except Tommy.
 
Maybe that’s where he should start.
 
She was the most brutally honest person he
knew, and she never had any reservations about saying what was on her
mind.
 
But how was he supposed to ask Jessi
if he could sleep with her husband?
 
It
was absurd.