The Prince of Punk Rock (66 page)

She slowly nodded.
 
“I was up all night thinking this
through.
 
We need to have a serious
conversation about our future.”

On the bus ride back to the hotel,
Jessi stayed in the living area on the leather couch in front of the TV.
 
She didn’t want to venture back into the
bedroom.
 
Tommy sat with her and Angel
joined them.
 
The rest of the band and
the dancers retreated to their bunks or the kitchen, aware of the tension
surrounding the three of them.

Jessi paid no attention to what
they were watching.
 
Television was the
last thing on her mind.
 
She and Tommy
barely spoke, and Angel didn’t say anything at all.
 
There was little traffic on the 405 this late
at night, and the bus pulled up to The Standard less than an hour later.

“Do you want me to tell the driver
to wait while you get your bag and check out?” Tommy asked.

“No.
 
That’s not necessary. He can bring us
straight to Chateau Marmont.”

They were eerily silent on the ten
minute drive down Sunset Blvd. and no one said a word on the elevator ride up
to their suite.

As soon as the door closed behind
them, Tommy took her in his arms.
 
She
tried to resist, but his touch was everything she longed for.
 
“I never meant to hurt you.
 
I’m so sorry.
 
I knew you would’ve never participated in our playtime.
 
I wasn’t trying push you away.
 
I don’t want you to feel left out.
 
I’ll do whatever I need to do to make it up
to you. Just let me know, and it’s done.”

She pushed out of his embrace, even
though it tore her heart in half.
 
She
wanted to be in his arms.
 
She wanted him
to hold her.
 
“You’re right.
 
I would’ve never let Angel hit you with that
thing.”
 
Her hand went to her chest.
 
“My heart wrenched when I watched it.
 
I wanted to hold you and protect you.”

“Jessi,” Angel said, “I would never
hurt Tommy.
 
You’re making me feel so
bad, like I intentionally abused him. I really wasn’t hitting him that
hard.
 
It was all done at Tommy’s
direction.
 
He told me exactly what he
wanted me to do.
 
We maintained eye
contact.
 
We had cues that meant
stop.
 
It was consensual.
 
I love Tommy just as much as you do, you
know.
 
I love him enough to share him,
too.
 
This isn’t easy for me,
either.
 
That video was exaggerated.
 
We never did anything that extreme and I
never put a ball gag in his mouth before.
 
It was only for effect.”

“It broke my heart to see you hit
Tommy.
 
I don’t know how you could do
that to him.
 
I was so angry at you.
 
I wanted to hate you, and for a little while,
I did.”

His eyes looked pathetically sad
and his mouth bowed down into a deep frown.
 
Her heart went out to him and she felt bad for the terrible accusations
she flung at him.

“I watched the DVD again. Parts of
it.
 
It was too hard to watch the whole
thing.
 
I realized that you were only
playing along.
 
I know how much you love
Tommy.
 
I know you would never hurt him.
 
You could never hurt anyone, Angel.
 
You’re too kind-hearted.
 
I’m sorry I said those horrible things to
you.
 
I’m ashamed.
 
It was because I was angry.
 
I know you would never try to steal Tommy away
from me. I love you, Angel.”

She turned her gaze on Tommy.
“You’re right. I would’ve never let him hit you with that thing and bruise your
delicate skin.
 
I understand I can’t
change your sexual preferences or your sexual fantasies.
 
I would never ask you to change for me.
 
Like you said, that’s not fair, but doing it
behind my back isn’t fair either.
 
It’s
too grand.
 
I’d always be wondering if
Angel went too far, checking your body for bruises.
 
It’s not something I can deal with.”
 
She stared at the city lights through the
panoramic window.
 
“Things need to
change.
 
When the tour’s over,
I’m going back to FIT and getting my
degree.
 
I’m opening a store.
 
I’m going to hire
seamstresses and a
full time staff, everything I need to get a business off the ground.
 
I’m gonna sell my designs, just like I always
dreamed of doing.
 
I’m tired of taking a
back seat to everything and everybody.
 
I’m putting myself first for once.”

“I’m happy, hon. I always told you
to finish school.
 
You know I always
wanted you to start your own clothing line. I always supported your work.
 
You’re very talented.”

“We need to come to a
compromise.
 
I’m going to have to get
used to this game the two of you love to play.
 
It’s new to me.
 
You’re going to
need to be patient.
 
Ease me into it,
because it’s going to take some getting use to. If it’s part of your life, it
needs to be part of mine.”

She saw the relief wash over
Tommy’s face as he opened his arms.
 
“Do
you have any idea how much I love you?
 
Your understanding and loyalty continually amaze me.”
 
He put his arms around her and held her so tight
she could barely breathe.

Angel came behind her put his
protective arms around the both of them.
 
“This is more like it.
 
Our family
is whole again.
 
I was a wreck these last
few days, sweetheart, when you were angry at me.
 
I’m so sorry.
 
I don’t ever want to fall out of your graces
again.
 
And I’m so proud of you.”

Angel kissed the back of her head
and gave them a powerful squeeze.
 
“Let’s
enjoy the rest of the week. Let’s see what we should do tomorrow.”
 
He rifled through some papers on the coffee
table. “I have so many things planned for us. We still have a few days in this
wonderful city and in this glorious hotel.”

Tommy rolled his eyes.
 
“Today I learned that Led Zeppelin rode their
motorcycles through the lobby in the late ‘60s.
 
I’m glad you’re back, hon, because if I have to listen to Angel rattle
off one more piece of rock and roll trivia about this hotel,
I’m
going
to jump off the roof.”

She chuckled.
 
“Then you’ll just give him more
ammunition.
 
I can see the headline
now.”
 
She looked in the distance and
spread the palm of her hand through the air. “
The Prince of Punk Rock Leaps
From the Rooftop and Defies the Grim Reaper
.”

Tommy laughed and she enjoyed the
way the corners of his eyes crinkled.

“I can hear the two of you making fun
of me, you know.”
 
Angel held up some
pamphlets.
 
“Tomorrow morning, we’re
going to start by having breakfast in the garden terrace. Did you see it,
sweetheart?
 
It’s magnificent!
 
Then we should take a helicopter tour of the
Hollywood sign and I want to visit the
Grammy
Museum
.
 
They have an exhibit of Michael Jackson’s
wardrobe!”

Tommy folded his arms across his
chest.
 
“You see that spark in his eye,
that exuberance, it was gone when you weren’t here, hon.
 
I’m not the only one who missed you.”

Not long afterwards, Damien showed
up at the door with his bass over his shoulder and her duffle bag at his
feet.
 
“I don’t want to interrupt, but
I’m having a problem with the fuckin’ strings on my Ibanez again.
 
I want Tommy to take a look at it.
 
And Alyssa said Jessi needed her bag.”
 
He sat on the couch, turned the tuning peg
and plucked at his bass.
 
He pursed his
lips to the side and shook his head.
 
“The D string doesn’t feel right.”

Jessi watched Tommy examine
Damien’s bass.
 
He was a master when it
came to instruments.
 
He was diagnosing
the problem, pointing to the bridge at the bottom part of the bass.

“And why don’t you use heavier
gauge strings?” he asked Damien.
 
“The
way you play this thing, you’re gonna break one.”

“I’ve never broke a string, dude.
 
Guitar players break strings, not bass
players.”

“I’ve seen bass players break
strings.
 
It can happen. Especially if
you slap the hell out of it the way you do.
 
You’re aggressive.”

“Soft ain’t my style.”

Damien fussed with his bass for a
bit, and then shook it with frustration.
 
“I hate this fuckin’ bass!
 
I’m
gonna throw it into traffic one day!”

Before he left, he stuck a tattooed
finger in Jessi’s face.
 
“You OK?”

She flinched.
 
Other than almost losing an eye, she was
fine, now.
 
She nodded at him. “I’m OK.”

He grabbed her chin in his hand,
rather roughly, and stuck a hard wet kiss on her cheek.
 
“Good.
 
Let me know if you need anything.”

Chapter Fifty-Two

Colorado
,
Missouri
,
Chicago
,
Michigan
.

The rocking of the bus often left Jessi wide awake.
 
She hated lying in bed and staring at the
confined space that made up their bedroom, but she didn’t want to disturb
everyone by turning on the TV.
 
Tonight
seemed to be the first quiet night in weeks.

Life on a tour bus was challenging for Jessi.
 
On the days when the band was performing, it
was exciting and energetic.
 
When they
had a day off they explored whatever city they were in, and enjoyed the local
night life. But when they were on the road and she was stuck in a cramped bus
with nine other people, she felt like she was going to lose her mind.
 
They were all shoe-boxed in together with no
privacy.