The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women (27 page)

Every woman should be so lucky to have your problem! Your ass, like your pussy, contracts during orgasm. After you climax, all the blood that rushed to your genital area disperses, and your ass returns to its nonaroused state (and doesn’t want a cock inside it). Well, I’ve had firsthand experience with your particular dilemma; I too sometimes come first and find it difficult to go on. So, what can you do? You can try to delay your orgasm until
after his climax. That way, you extend your pleasure for even longer, and don’t have any discomfort. Or after you come, have him slow down his movement or even stop thrusting, but still stay in your ass. Take a few minutes to recover from your mind-blowing orgasm, then concentrate on relaxing your ass by taking lots of deep breaths. To extend your arousal, play with your pussy and clit, and have him slowly resume his in-and-out movements. Continue to breathe deeply, work your clit, and relax your ass. As he pumps your ass, talk to him and let him know how it feels. Hopefully, you can have a second orgasm in the process!

Cramping after anal sex is not unusual. I have a few suggestions. First, don’t fuck on a full stomach. If your body is trying to digest a big meal, then stimulation in the rectum could confuse the natural bowel processes. Similarly, just like you shouldn’t drink gallons of water before you work out your abdominal muscles at the gym, the same holds true for getting fucked in the ass. Second, consider using a shorter dildo or, if it’s your partner’s cock, not going all the way in. The longer the cock, the closer it gets to the lower colon, which for some people may disrupt colonic activity and cause cramps. Finally, if your partner thrusts in and out of you, air can be pushed inside your rectum and travel upward in the body, giving you cramps. If the cramping persists, consult a physician; you may be suffering from a gastrointestinal problem.

 

If your wife is having a headache worse than a migraine, it must be extremely painful and debilitating. At first glance, the problem seems completely unrelated to anal sex; however, it’s too much of a coincidence since it’s happened several times. Stress and tension can often cause a severe headache, so I have a few theories. First, while you’re fucking her in the ass, she may be in a position that’s putting undue strain on her neck. I know that sometimes I end up in weird positions—especially when I have my ass in the air and my head down—while buttfucking. Afterward, I often feel pain in my neck, and that pain could lead to a headache. Make sure her head and neck have plenty of support.

My second theory has to do with her breathing patterns during sex. Many people (me included!) often take very shallow breaths when we get aroused on our way to orgasm—it’s a natural instinct. Masturbation guru Dr. Betty Dodson scolded me once that if I am not taking deep breaths, then the blood cannot properly circulate throughout my body during sex. Shallow breaths may cause a quick high, but deep breaths ensure that the blood is flowing and the high people often feel during sex will last throughout the act. If your wife is taking quick breaths, or even holding her breath at some points, she could be depriving her brain of oxygen. This repeated deprivation could cause an intense headache, especially if
she’s susceptible to headaches in the first place. It’s a good idea for her to talk to her physician about the problem.

 

Feeling numb and throbbing are two very different sensations in my book, so I am going to address them separately. Because the ass is full of nerve endings and thus very sensitive, your wife should never have a numb feeling; indeed, most people say it’s quite the opposite: their nerves are electrified. If the numbing sensation continues, I would suggest she consult a physician, because she may have a circulatory problem. As for the throbbing, once the area is engorged and it’s been vigorously stimulated through repeated thrusting, throbbing seems like a natural response. You’ve worked her ass over well, and it’s responding! As long as the throbbing subsides and she doesn’t feel any pain, then I’d say you’re doing a good job.

 

When stuff that we don’t recognize comes out of our asses it can be alarming, so I understand your concern completely. Rest assured, you are fine. The rectum is lined with a thin layer of mucous that helps to protect it. When we put toys inside our butts, some of that mucous can cling to the toy, and even mix with lubricant, which sounds like what happened to you. The rectum naturally regenerates the mucous, so your ass will return to normal. Then you can stick more things in it!

 

How big is the jewelry? If it is bigger than about 10 gauge, that would be cause for concern. I have not heard of people with average-size ampallang piercings getting stuck. Although I do think you should be concerned that your piercing may tear the delicate tissue that lines the rectum or cause your partner pain. I recommend you wear a condom to prevent possible
injury or discomfort. A penis piercing with average-size jewelry should not interfere with the safe use of condoms. Use a condom with a receptacle end to fit comfortably over the jewelry, and lubricate the inside of the condom as well as the jewelry itself to reduce friction. By the way, how old is your piercing? Most piercers recommend an initial healing time of 8-10 weeks; an ampallang piercing will be fully healed at 6-12 months. If your piercing is less than 10 weeks old, give it more time to heal before you engage in anal penetration.

 

You need a dependable erection in order to penetrate her ass, and once you’re super hard, you may not be able to pee; some men can’t stay that hard and let it flow. If your dick can stand up and piss, then you’ve got to consider the safer sex issues. As far as bodily fluids go, urine is nearly, but not completely, sterile. Peeing in your sweetheart’s butt is mostly safe for you unless you have any cuts or open sores on your cock. She may want to know that she can get chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis B, cytomegalovirus (CMV), or genital herpes, if these viruses are present in your piss. Unfortunately, there is no research on the transmission of HIV through urine; however, we know that HIV can be present in urine or in urine that contains a small amount of blood. If the two of you have been tested for all these diseases and are monogamous, then you should be all right. Remember that whatever you put in a rectum will be instantaneously absorbed into the bloodstream, so she may end up with an upset stomach. You might also consider peeing outside of her ass, which is even safer and still plenty of fun.

A healthy ass is a happy ass, and a happy ass is one ready to receive anal pleasure. There are a few simple but important things you can do to keep your butt in tip-top shape, and most of them are commonsense tips for living a healthy life. Good bathroom habits are critical to your anal health, including proper hygiene and always wiping front to back. Listen to your body when it sends the signal that it’s time for a bowel movement; holding it in can only lead to problems. Drink plenty of water (8-10 full glasses are recommended) and eat a balanced, fiber-rich diet. Fruits, green leafy vegetables, whole grain breads and cereals, and bran are good sources of fiber. Exercising and reducing your stress level both have positive benefits for your overall health, as well as the health of your butt. During sex, treat your behind with love and respect, follow the steps outlined in this book, and always stop any activity if it hurts. All of these things will contribute to the good health of your ass.

It’s equally important to arm yourself with information about anal maladies and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs, also known as sexually transmitted infections or STIs) so you can be aware when something may be wrong. The most important thing you can do is pay attention to your body. If you experience a change in bowel movements, any of the symptoms discussed in this chapter, or anything out of the ordinary, you should see a health care professional immediately. The information in this chapter should be used only as a guideline and not a substitute for the advice of a doctor.

It is also crucial that you have a doctor with whom you feel absolutely comfortable. Lots of people feel embarrassed talking about certain health concerns, especially when it comes to their asses. Talk honestly about your symptoms as well as your anal sex practices so your health care provider has all the information he or she needs to make a proper diagnosis. This may not be the sexiest chapter in the book, but it’s a necessary one. Plus, fucking without anxiety
is
sexy.

Part of maintaining our anal health is learning about sexually transmitted diseases and taking proper precautions to protect ourselves and our partners. In this section, I cover the most common STDs in America, their symptoms, and their treatments. Since this book is primarily concerned with anal sex and health, I specifically discuss STDs that can be transmitted through anal sex and how the STDs affect your anus and rectum. You should never attempt to self-diagnose an STD; if you suspect you may have one, see a doctor as soon as possible. I encourage you and your partner (s) to be tested for all STDs before engaging in unprotected anal play. If you don’t know your own status or that of your partner’s, you should use safer sex barriers, like those discussed in chapter 6, to decrease the risk of infection transmission.

As women, we are the best source of information about our bodies, including our vaginas, clitorises, breasts, and butts.
You
know your body and its uniqueness better than anyone else. When you experience anything unusual—including bumps, rashes or sores, persistent itching, irritation, abdominal or pelvic pain, burning or pain during urination, any unusual discharge, irregular bleeding or cramping, or discomfort or pain
during sex—you should see a gynecologist or other physician promptly.
For many women, STDs may occur without any symptoms at all
, so the only way they can be detected is through medical exams and laboratory tests. Therefore, all sexually active women should have checkups, pelvic exams, and pap smears on a yearly basis.

It is equally important to find a gynecologist or other physician you respect, trust, and feel comfortable talking to about your sexual health and practices. I’ve been to gynecologists who assume I’m heterosexual and ask me the requisite “What form of birth control do you use?” I’ve been to others who don’t ask me anything about my sexual practices, partners, or concerns. Your gynecological visit is no time to play Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. If they don’t ask, it’s your responsibility to tell. While a regular exam at the gynecologist can include a pelvic exam, pap smear, breast exam, and rectal exam, many doctors do not perform rectal exams unless patients specifically complain of symptoms related to their asses. If you regularly engage in anal sex of any kind, you should inform your doctor, be frank about your practices, and request a rectal exam, even if you feel fine. Sexually transmitted infections can be rectal as well as vaginal. If you are diagnosed with an STD in your pussy and have engaged in unprotected anal sex, make sure to get your ass tested as well. Because of the close proximity of our vaginas to our anuses, it is easy for women to spread infections from one orifice to the other. Most STDs can be treated and cured fairly easily with antibiotics or managed with other medications if they are caught in their early stages. Untreated STDs can lead to more serious complications, including sterility, cancer, and, in some cases, death. So please take care of yourself.