Tied Up In Heartstrings (9 page)

Shit…this girl has totally turned my world upside down. I can’t sleep. When she’s not beside me, I’m constantly checking my cell phone. Yesterday was an unbelievably great day, but last night took a turn when things got a bit too hot and heavy. I need to be careful.

I talked to Whitney today. She said Alexis is having a hard time feeling worthy of anything good in her life. This little lady has had a seriously hard life.
and I’m ready for that shit to change. She’s amazing and deserves to sit on a throne and be pampered. Maybe I’ll buy her a throne.

Tonight she basically told me I could call her whenever I could fit her into my schedule. That pissed me off. At this point I would stomp on anyone who got between her and me talking. I really need to talk to her to see where her head is about us. Damn, she lost her husband last year, and I’m not sure she’s ready for what I want with her.

“Lex, we need to talk about what that means. Where should we sit?”

She points to the sliding glass door off the family room. It’s a beautiful house, not at all what I expected of her home. It’s not really girly, but there are lots of throw pillows on a big leather sectional sofa with a flat screen TV on the wall, stacks of books everywhere, and lots of family pictures around. This house isn’t like a museum. It’s a home, a
well-loved and lived in home. I actually like it a lot, even with all the toys around.

She leads the way out to the lanai. Her backyard overlooks a big swimming pool.
Beyond that is big pond. I wonder who helps her take care of this big house and yard. She’s got to be sitting on an acre of land at least. Huh. I want to ask and I need know, but I’m pretty sure that she wouldn’t like that right now.

“Thank you for inviting me over,
Lex. I wasn’t expecting you to do that, but I sure am glad you did. I missed you today. I was dying to talk to you after last night. I’m sorry, again.” 

Her face is tense. I can see she’s holding on to what happened, but we need to get past this shit and on to whatever is possible with us. She’s so damn adorable. I love that she didn’t try to dress up for me. She’s wearing some short little sweat pants and a tank top. Her hair is in a messy
bun on top of her head and she’s wearing the cutest little glasses. She’s kissable, so very kissable. It’s going to take every ounce of strength I can muster to keep my lips off her. 

“I wasn’t expecting you to want to be here, Garrett. Can you please stop apologizing for last night? That was my fault. I’m the one that’s sorry.”

I don’t want to keep bringing it up, but damn, I saw her face and I feel bad. Now I’m ready to move on to better topics.

“I was sure you’d have more important things to do, but, I’m happy you had the time to come over. I like
chillaxin’ with you.”

That’s a funny word. “
Chillaxin’…??? Sweetheart, what the hell does it mean to chillax, and tell me what I’m doing to chillax with you, so I can do it right. I love doing things you like. By the way, lady, nothing, and I do mean nothing, is more important to me than chillaxin with you!”

She giggles. I’m not sure there is a sweeter sound.

“It’s chilling out and relaxing. Exactly what we’re doing now. I like it a lot, only I usually don’t have time,” she explains.

I smirk at her. Shit! How can I make more time in the
day. When I’m with her things are good, and I want to do more of it!

“Tell me what you do to fill your day. I want to know what it’s like to walk a day in your shoes,” I inquire, because I can only imagine how challenging it is to care for a child alone. Now that I see this big house and yard, I’m sure that takes up a good bit of time, too. Plus, I know she has some sort of job or work. She said she works from home. I’m not sure what she does, though. We never really got that far when we talked. I know for a fact she works out. No other woman in the world has a rocking body like she does, and that doesn’t come without hard work.

“Well, tomorrow for example, my day will start around 6:30 in the morning. I’ll get up, get ready, and take Sierra to school. When I get back I’ll go for a run, come home and do some work, pick Sierra up from school, come home and do some chores, cook dinner, enjoy some quality time with Sierra, go to bed, and then start all over the next day. Pretty simple, actually.”

Damn, that doesn’t sound simple. I thought my day was challenging. “That doesn’t sound so simple at all. What kind of work do you do?” I ask, curious as to how she can fit it in with all the other stuff.

“I’m a writer, or trying to be, so I usually spend my day writing my manuscripts and reading others. I like it. I haven’t published anything, yet. I’m not really ready for that, but I do love writing and reading. I’m not in a position to work a real job, since Sierra is still young and I want to be involved firsthand with what she is doing. Since Jed was responsible and prepared for the worst, Sierra and I are fine without my income.

“She’s lost so much, you know, me working a regular job and leaving her with a nanny doesn’t seem fair,” she explains. “Not to mention, I really never got around to getting a real job after college. Since I was getting married to Jed and he was working hard establishing his career, starting our family and building our home was my priority. So I’m not really sure who would even hire me now.”

Damn, I knew that girl would do something creative with her life. I’d love to get my hands on her books. “I have a lot of respect for you. Creative writing is an amazing talent. I don’t know many people that could commit to that. The sacrifices you’re making for your family are commendable. But it makes me happy that you’re pursuing something on your own, too. Crazy talent in that little body, lady.” She’s laughing. You have no idea how happy that makes me. “I’m sure publishing houses are lining up waiting for you. You’re a catch!” I tell her, leaning in closer to run my fingers across her arm, needing to touch her beautiful soft skin.

“Garrett, shut up, you don’t know if I am a catch in the literary world,” she says, laughing.

“Baby, you’re a catch in every world. And I know for a fact you’re smart as hell, because you used to read me some of those papers you wrote in college. You’re crazy smart, and you’d look great on the cover of any book!”

“Garrett, just shut up. You’re embarrassing me.” She’s cute when she starts blushing, but I don’t want her to stop talking, so I rub her leg just above her knee, telling her that I’ll stop talking about her being such a catch and
hottie.

She shivers and gets goose bumps when my hand brushes the inside of her knee. “Are you cold, sweetheart? Want me to get you a blanket, or we could go inside?”

“No, I’m fine,” she says, but her face is very flush. We’re sitting on an outdoor sofa that faces the pool and pond. The moon is bright and lights up the backyard with the refection off the pool and pond. It’s warm outside.

“This is a really pretty house. You said you built it?” Her shoulders drop. She looks a little deflated.

“Yeah, Jed designed it. He was an architect. I basically gave him a list of all the things I would want in my perfect house and he tried to find a way to design it based on my wish list, with a lot of extras. At one point, I thought this house would be a family home. I wanted 3 children, so did Jed. We were just starting to think about our second child when the accident happened. But now that it’s just Sierra and me, it’s a lonely house. The dreams I had for us in this home seem like they may never come true. I’ve been thinking about selling it, but even that seems too hard to consider. I don’t know. Anyway, to answer your question, we designed it and had a contractor build it. We were involved in every detail, though. This house kind of feels like my first kid.” She looks so sad talking about the house, but it’s a feeling I understand. Some dreams you want so badly, but you just have no idea how in the world you’ll ever make them reality. That I understand all too well.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I know that’s not what you want to hear right now, but
Lex, I really am sorry. I hoped you would always lead a charmed life. I hate that you’ve had such hard things to deal with in this last year or so. I want you to know I’m here for you. I mean…I want to be here for you, and help out with whatever you need. I don’t know if you have a go to guy in your life, but, baby doll, I want to be him.” She looks like she’s getting a little pissed. I’m not really sure what I said that was wrong, but I think I’m about to find out. She’s not really a quiet, keep it under the lid kind of girl.

“Garrett, I’m not sure what you are asking me. I don’t need a chore boy, if that’s what you want to know. Remember, I have a control freak of a brother, and he makes sure the yard crew comes as scheduled. I have a fantastic housekeeper, who has been helping me since Sierra was a baby. If you think I need someone to sweep in and rescue poor little me and that’s why you’re here, you can leave. I’m happy to rekindle a friendship, but I’m sick to death of people wanting to take care of me. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of
myself and my little girl without damn egotistical superstars sweeping in. Got it? Do you even understand how insulting what you just said
is
?” Her little fists are pumping, and her knuckles are turning red as blood, then white as milk. She’s really pissed. I gotta fix this shit. I think she misunderstood what I was trying to say.

I jump out of my seat fast and kneel on the ground directly in front of her. “
Lex, that’s not what I meant. I just want to be here for you, too.”

I grasp her face in my hands and pull her lips directly to mine, willing her to open them, so I can taste her. She struggles for less than three seconds before she gives in to her desire, which I know is a strong as my own, or I wouldn’t be sitting here. I kiss her and taste her goodness.

I let go of her face and wrap my arms around her waist, lifting her up as I stand, and then sitting back down on the sofa. I place her on my lap when I sit without breaking the contact of our lips. We sit this way, kissing, while I rub her back. I’m pretty sure I feel a little moan vibrate on my tongue. My cock, which is already being crushed in my jeans, twitches and I’m sure she felt it because she jumps. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, I can’t really control that when you‘re sitting on my lap, kissing me with those perfect little lips.”

She looks a little embarrassed, “I’m sorry, Garrett. I don’t want you to think I invite men over to my house all the time after Sierra goes to bed to do…to do this. I don’t ever.
I mean, I haven’t ever. Not at all…since Jed. That’s why last night was hard for me. I was enjoying doing this with you, then when you pulled away I remembered and felt so…so guilty.”

Let me get this straight…she’s worried I think this is a common occurrence for her, and she’s feeling guilty because of her dead husband? “Baby, I know you better than that. I’m the one who’s sorry. You were so mad at me and I just wanted you to not be mad. I was a bit desperate and kissing you was the best and quickest way I could think of to fix that.”

I continue, “Lex, I don’t want to be your chore boy, sweetheart. I want to be your guy. I want to be the one you talk to at the start and end of every day. I want to mean more to you than the damn lawn guy. Baby, I want to kiss you just like this and hold you tight every chance I get. I want to meet Sierra, and all of us go places and do things together.”

My mouth is running away with words. Shit, I’m worried to death that I’m scaring her. “But,
Lex, if all you’ll let me be is your chore boy, honey…I’ll take it. I’ll do almost anything to be close to you. If you don’t want any of what I just said, tell me, and I’ll shut it down, but honey, walking out of your life completely will never be an option for me at this point. We can be friends, you can be my girl, I can be your guy, or …I’ll just be the lawn boy. You tell me.”

She’s squeezing my shoulders. This conversation is making her tense, but we have to get it out there. “Garrett, I haven’t been in a relationship since Jed. I’m not sure I’m ready for that. But kissing you feels nice, really nice, and I like you. Can you just give me a minute to process what’s happening?”

Damn, I know how long her minutes are…her minute sucks!

“By the way, the chore boy and lawn guy positions are filled. But I don’t have anyone to call me at the start or end of my day, so I guess I’ll let you try that out on a trial run.” She winks, laughing at me.

Oh, hell no! I tickle her on her hips and she squirms on my thighs, belly laughing. Damn, I’d kill to hear this sound every day.

I’m thrilled she partially agreed to let me into her life. “Trial run, huh, lady. I’ll show you a damn trial run.” I continue tickling her, until she plasters her lips directly over mine and kisses me with the will to possess me. I’m distracted from tickling her and more interested in learning all the curves of her body. I place my hands on her hips, rubbing her from her hips to her back. I hear that little moan again, and she flexes her hips forward grinding only once right on my cock. Hot damn, she is worked up and wanting to be touched. I’m the guy to do it! “
Lex, baby, can I touch you here?” I ask her, my hands hovering over her perfect breasts.

“Yes,” she moans.

Sliding my hands under her shirt, I lift her tank top. Her skin is so damn soft. I could spend all my days and nights caressing her and still not ever have enough.

Her hand is on my chest mimicking what I’m doing to her under her shirt. I need her hands on my bare skin desperately, so I lean back and start to lift my shirt. She’s immediately game for that plan, because she jerks my shirt up over my head and throws it over her shoulder. Her lips return to mine. We’re touching and caressing each other.