Unhurt (7 page)

I was well on my way to alienating one of my oldest friends.

“Shit, Joss. Excuse me for having a kid of my own and not being able to help you with yours.”

Then, out of nowhere, or rather, two seats over, I heard, “I’ll do it.”

Derek. I hadn’t even seen him before now. I leaned back to get a better look at his face. “You’ll do what?”

He was turned sideways in his barstool, Heineken bottle in hand. “I’ll marry you.”

I was stumped. “You want to marry me?”

Keeping with his casual tone, Derek nodded to confirm. “I do. Tomorrow morning good for you?”

Still talking over Howard, who was placed uncomfortably between us, I threw one hand up on my hip and squinted suspiciously. “Why?”

“Well, the courthouse is closed for the day and I have a job in the afternoon, so I really only have the morning. Unless you want to wait until Thursday...” He was explaining everything so matter-of-factly, I had no choice but to conclude he was even crazier than I was. This had bad idea written all over it.

“No, not why tomorrow morning. Why do you want to marry me?” I had a lot of nerve using a tone that suggested he was the one sitting in the mental ward, but then, nerve was all I had these days.

Of course, he was also kind of asking for it. And apparently didn’t mind it.

“Because I can and Mattie can’t.” As if it was that simple.

My arms slipped down to my sides, flapping and dangling like lackluster sails abandoned by the wind. “You’re serious.”

Derek placed his Heineken on the counter and stood up from his seat. He took two steps toward me and then dropped down on one knee. I thought I might throw up.

“Whooaaa, now. What are you doing?”

He grabbed one of my limp hands. “Shut up. I got this.” He cleared his throat. “Joss Kelley, for the sake of saving your family and also because I’m hoping this will mean I won’t have to pay you for painting my furniture...will you marry me?”

Holy shit. I mean, I knew it was a fake proposal. But HOLY SHIT.

“You’re insane.”

He didn’t move. “What?! This was your idea. You just proposed to Mattie two minutes ago.”

“Yeah, but I’ve spent more than just one day with him.”

Derek shrugged. “And that didn’t seem to work in your favor.”

I gasped. “You motherfucker. Fine, but remember - You asked for this.”

“Is that a yes?” Right around then I noticed he was still holding onto my hand.

“Apparently it is.”

Derek grinned as he got back to his feet. Then, in case the entire bar crowd wasn’t already staring at us like we were circus freaks, he lifted our hands into the air and shouted, “We’re getting married. Drinks on me!” Naturally, everyone cheered. Except for me.

“What are you doing? You’re acting like this is a real engagement.” And if he didn’t quit I’d be tempted to believe him. The way my life had been going lately, I’d be all too happy to abandon reality for this kind of deluded fairy tale shit if he continued to throw it around so carelessly.

“Relax. I know this arrangement is lacking the very vital romance component, but just because it’s a marriage of convenience instead of love, doesn’t mean it can’t be celebrated. Besides, you look like you could use it.” He nudged me gently in the side. “Plus, I’ll take that ‘you’re a fucking moron face’ you’re giving me right now over the one you had when you walked in here, any day of the week.”

“Good to know. You keep this shit up and you’ll be seeing it a lot.” It was either that or my ugly cry face because he was quite literally moving me to tears with all of his knight in shiny armor crap. Oh well, if he still wanted to marry me come morning, at least for one brief moment I would be able to claim I had a husband who was not only the sexiest man I’d ever seen , but knew his way around a tool box, was kind to animals,
and
spent his free time volunteering for children’s charities. Yeah, if I absolutely had to get married, I could do worse than marry Derek Tice.

***

“H
ere, one round. Don’t go crazy.” I handed Mattie my debit card. I had no fucking clue what I was doing anymore. Apparently, I was getting married though. And, it seemed, I was happy about it. Not because I was looking forward to some fantasy of wedded bliss, but because for the first time since I’d left the Navy, I felt like I had something of value to contribute other than my occasional participation in the dog therapy program.

I wasn’t hunting down terrorists or fighting for freedom in some repressed shithole of the world, but this meant something, too. Maybe it should have paled in comparison, but truth was, knowing that I could keep a son in the arms of his mother, keep them both together, keep them safe, it seemed like the perfect mission for someone seeking redemption. Not that I could ever truly redeem myself for what I’d done, but maybe, just maybe, if I could pay if forward often enough, I could someday be at peace with the debt I could never pay back.

When I turned around toward the crowd I saw Joss still standing in the middle of the room, clearly unsure how to proceed. Well, we’d have to wing it because I didn’t know either.

“Hey,” I tugged her elbow to get her attention. “Let’s step outside for a minute.”

She pressed her lips together tightly and nodded.

We walked to the door, followed by random cheers and congratulatory handshakes as we moved through. The deserted sidewalk was a welcome change of pace by the time we finally made it to the exit.

“You don’t really have to marry me, it’s fine. I mean, it was ridiculous of me to come in here asking Mattie in the first place. I was just desperate.” Joss was rambling. “But seriously, I don’t really expect you to go through with that crazy proposal you made in there.”

“Are you kidding me? I just paid for a hundred drinks. We are getting married! No take backs, no bailing.” I reached up to grasp her hand and unfold her arms in the process. “I knew what I was doing when I volunteered to marry you. I’m not changing my mind, so don’t you. You need this, Joss. Let me do it for you.”

She sucked in a deep breath of air, trying to ward off her emotions. It was pointless. “Everything is such a mess. Honestly, I don’t even know if this will make a difference.”

Automatically, I brought her to me and held her tight while she continued to cry.

“Well, we won’t know unless we try, right?”

“I guess.” She sniffed against my shoulder. “Thank you...just, thank you.” Her head turned up at me. Her big green eyes were flooded to the point of overflowing. Between the tears and the sheer depth of what lie beneath them, I knew in an instant I would fucking drown there if I ever let myself fall in.

S
ince there
was a three day waiting period between getting the marriage license and being able to get married, we couldn’t follow through with Derek’s initial proposal to have a wedding the next day. We did however meet on the front steps of the court house to acquire our license first thing in the morning.

Given the high crazy factor in our endeavor, I opted not to give Aunt Deb any details and simply allowed her to remain innocent and ignorant, believing Derek and I were getting together for a simple breakfast which she repeatedly told me could turn into dinner,
wink wink
. Oh, there would be dinner alright.

By some miracle, Bobby never did show up at the bar during my little engagement fiasco the previous night, and pending any furious phone calls from him, my ‘fake marriage-real wedding’ plans were moving along without a hitch.

“You’re not nervous, are you?” Derek nudged me in the side with his elbow as we walked up the massive steps toward the building.

“About marrying a guy I barely know in hopes that I won’t lose custody of my son? Psh, not at all.” There was a delay between the words coming out of my mouth and my brain really registering what they were. When it hit me, I froze up mid-step. “Holy shit. What am I thinking? If anyone finds out this marriage is a sham I’ll be even more fucked than I am without a husband.”

“No one is going to find out.” He was leaning in close to me. So close in fact, for a moment I thought our foreheads might touch.

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because,” he pulled back as he reached down to take my hand, “we’re not going to let them.”

I don’t know why, maybe because I had no other choice, but I believed him.

Still holding my hand, Derek led the way into the building. Less than an hour later we were walking out again, marriage license in our possession. The whole experience had made me feel like puking, a sensation I was getting uncomfortably used to. Although I probably wasn’t the only one having that reaction to filling out forms in preparation for a lifetime of legal bondage.

“Well, that was different.” I glanced down at the papers in my hand.

“Oh, you’ve never done this before?”

My head shot up to meet his eyes. “You have?”

He grinned. “No.”

I shook my head and slugged him in the arm. “Asshole.”

He lifted his hand and gently touched the corner of my mouth with the tip of his thumb. “Made you smile though.”

“How can you be so calm about all of this? You’re about to marry this crazy chick you barely know...with a kid! I mean, have you thought about this? Really thought about what it’s going to take for this to be convincing? There will be home visits. Social workers. Court hearings. You’ll have to be present. You’ll have to MOVE IN!” Why was I the only one freaking out about this?

“I know, Joss. I know all of that. It’s fine. It’s not like any of it is really going to affect my life all that much. All I do is eat, sleep and work. Maybe have a beer at Bobby’s place a couple nights a week. I’m telling you, I’ve got no life. And if making a few simple changes like sleeping at your place instead of mine can protect you and Wyatt, why not?” Derek nodded toward his truck. “I’m parked over that way.”  I could see Hattie sitting in the back, her nose to the wind, enjoying whatever random scents were traveling by. “Where’s your Bronco?”

For a moment I couldn’t even remember. “Parking garage. So, Hattie’s cool just chillin’ in the back of your pick-up? Don’t you worry she might jump out or get taken?”

“Nah, she’s fine. She’d live back there if I let her. Listen, we have three days to decide if we want to go through with this. There’s a coffee shop right off of Main Street. Why don’t you hop in and we cruise over there and have a cup...or two. You can ask me anything you want and I promise I’ll answer...but you have to do the same. It will be our own little version of speed dating.”

And I was the one people called wacko-doodle. Then I heard myself say ‘Okay’ and I knew I’d rightfully earned the name. Of course, he’d never notice because he was clearly just as nuts as I was.

The second I settled into the passenger seat I automatically reached for the glove compartment. I was stupidly relieved to see that the box of Mike and Ikes was still there. I was excited even, to discover that a bag of Skittles had been added to his sugar collection.

“You don’t mind, do you?” I asked, both my cheeks filled with all the colors of the rainbow.

He smirked. “Who do you think I got them for?”

“You’re telling me you stashed candy in your truck anticipating my being a passenger?” I asked dryly, pouring a nice mix of candy into the palm of my hand and preparing to chuck it all into my mouth.

“Actually, yeah.” He was being serious.

“Why?”

He shrugged. “Just seemed like a really simple way to help you relax. Little sugar seems to go a long way in getting you to let your guard down.”

“I’m not gonna lie. You freak me out a little, Derek Tice.”

He laughed. “Really? I kinda think
that’s
a lie. I get the feeling I freak you out
a lot
.”

He was right, but I wasn’t about to admit it to him. So, I did what any completely irrational woman in my situation would do and shoved more candy into my mouth.

We arrived at the coffee shop without any further incident, embarrassing or otherwise, and I approached the door fully prepared to open it, when Derek’s tan and toned arm reached out from behind me and beat me to it. Damn. If that motherfucker was going to be a gentleman even when it came to the small stuff, I didn’t stand a chance.

The more I thought about it, the more it dawned on me I hadn’t ever opened the door to his truck either. Somehow I always just managed to climb in unobstructed. Although he’d been smooth about that shit, because I couldn’t actually recall watching him get the door for me either.

Once inside, I felt the palm of his hand on my lower back as he gently moved me through the anxious morning crowd, to the back where there were a few empty tables.

“What are you having?” he asked as I took my seat on one side of the small booth.

“What do they have here?”

“You telling me you don’t have a standard coffee you get everywhere you go?” he tilted his head probingly.

I sighed, defeated. “White chocolate mocha, please.” Derek was frighteningly perceptive and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was like that with everyone or if I had spiked on his radar somehow, drawing more attention than usual. I wasn’t entirely sure which I was hoping for.

Derek Tice was probably the most attractive man I’d ever laid eyes on. And, to make matters more complicated, I’d noticed a few times now that standing in too close of a proximity to him affected my breathing and made my mouth go dry while my legs got all tingly along with other parts of my body I’d forgotten I had. It had been a long time, but I was pretty sure what I was experiencing was something along the lines of being turned on. I mean, I was fairly sure, since those moments made me want to jump out of my own skin and straight into his. Then I’d hear myself think something like,
I’d be wearing a Derek suit
, which somehow made my mind travel to scenes from Silence of the Lambs and then being turned on would go right to being grossed out. Then that’d be the end of it until the next time he stood so fucking close.

For some sick reason, this line of thinking inevitably always made me want to put lotion on my hands. So, I was just rubbing in the shea butter cream when I saw Derek coming back to the table, two tall paper cups in hand.