Unhurt (8 page)

“You like that stuff?” he nodded at the bottle of lotion still sitting on the table.

“It works. My hands get pretty dried out from work. Especially when I’m doing mosaic projects and dealing with grout. It’s like I can feel it sucking the moisture right out of my skin.”

He chuckled and took a sip of his coffee. “Yeah, I know what you mean. I have the same problem. Only it somehow seems less acceptable for a guy to whip out his lotion anytime his skin isn’t soft and smooth, plus they all seem to come with some sort of a girly scent.”

I popped the lid off the bottle and tipped it, preparing to give him a good squirt. “Come on, I’ll share.” When he hesitated I added, “I swear it doesn’t smell like a chick. Just like something you would want to eat.” Like I needed any more excuses to want to put my mouth on the man.

“Hey, this is nice,” he admitted two seconds later while enjoying the benefits of having shea butter soak into his skin.

“I know. So is this by the way, thanks.” I let my coffee do a little celebratory dance in midair before guiding it back to my lips. After several long sips, I set the cup back down. “So, you said I could ask you questions.”

Derek nodded. “Ask away.”

“Alright. For starters, where did you come from? I mean, I’ve lived out here my entire life. Bobby and I went to school with all the same kids, half of our friends from Elementary now work for him at the Monk. I mean, it’s a small fucking community. How come we never crossed paths with you before now?”

The words flew out of my mouth like more of an accusation than a question. Derek was choking on his coffee by the time I was done.

“Well, probably because I
haven’t
lived out here my entire life. Grew up out in Nevada, actually. Then, joined the Navy the moment I graduated and haven’t stayed put since. When I got out last year, the last thing I wanted to do was go live in another motherfucking desert, so going home was not an option. Did some training out in Key West once and liked it, so Florida it was.”

Navy. My stepdad was an Army man through and through. He’d always made it sound like the Navy guys were pussies who’d never seen combat outside of Pearl Harbor. I wasn’t about to bring that up though. Not to mention, I was pretty sure it wasn’t an entirely accurate assessment considering all the shit talking the various military branches seemed to do about one another. All in good fun, I’m sure. Sort of the way you picked on a younger sibling, but would kick a stranger’s ass for doing the exact same thing.

Derek didn’t strike me as soft or weak in any way. The exact opposite, although even with all his take charge and keep calm energy, I wouldn’t have taken him for a military man.

“You were in the Navy?” It sounded doubtful. Because I was.

“Mm-hm. SEAL. Over ten years.” Well, that made more sense. The SEALs weren’t pussies. They were badasses. Hm. Although, that didn’t really fit Derek either.

“Why’d you leave?” Chances were good I was delving into some really personal stuff here I had no business asking, but considering the circumstances and the fact that I’d had to give up all rights to any kind of privacy the day Cara up and got herself killed on me, I was no longer in the habit of holding back.

“Because the list of pros and cons was getting too close to being even.”

I nodded. I didn’t need details. I’d heard enough at home to know what he meant. War did that to people. Blurred the lines. Made them do wrong things for the right reasons. It wasn’t hard to guess why that sort of a life would wear on a man like Derek.

“How come you’re not married?” Fuck it, I was on a roll anyway.

“How come you’re not?” Touché.

“You were there, you saw what happened. Nobody wants to marry me.” I sipped my coffee and hoped that was the end of it. I was willing to call a truce on this one if he was.

“I wanted to marry you.”

“That’s only because you don’t know me very well.”

He didn’t say anything. Then, “Funny, that’s what everyone was telling me last night after you left as well.”

“I was joking. I’m total marriage material. Those assholes don’t know what they’re talking about.” I went to put my cup down and almost missed the table. “Seriously, I’m going to be the best damn fake wife you’ve ever seen.”

“Oh, I believe it.” But he was smirking like maybe he didn’t.

“Anyway, I was supposed to be asking you questions, not the other way around.” I crossed my arms like a pouting child and instantly pictured Wyatt. It was his favorite pose these days...and I probably didn’t look nearly as adorable doing it as he did.

Meanwhile, Derek was leaning back into his seat like he couldn’t possibly be any more relaxed. “My apologies. Please, continue.”

I went to open my mouth before I realized, I didn’t really have any other questions prepared. “So...um...since you’re not married. Do you have any other family? Kids? Parents? Siblings? Crazy Aunts?”

Derek’s arms reached up and he stretched them back, resting his head in the palms of his hands.

“Yeah, I’ve got family. I didn’t just show up out of thin air, you know. I’ve got parents. Ken and Mary Tice. Both lovely people. Mom’s a retired teacher. Taught middle school English up until last year. Now she’s giving writing a try. About halfway through her first romance novel last time I talked to her.” He smiled that mama’s boy smile and it was the cutest fucking thing ever. Naturally, I looked away as fast as I could. I was busy staring at some woman struggling to get her wallet back into her purse one handed while holding her coffee with the other when he continued.

“Dad owns a construction company. Gave me my first job when I was fifteen. Those skills have come in pretty handy over the years. Mom’s wanting him to slow down now, and I think he’s getting close to retiring as well.”

I ventured a furtive glance back in his direction to see if it was safe. It was. “So, shouldn’t you be prepping to take over the family business or something?”

He shook his head. “Nah. My dad and I may do the same thing, but we do it very differently. Besides, my brother-in-law’s out there. They’ve been working together now for almost ten years. I’m sure he’s more than capable of taking over.”

“So you have a sister?”

“Yep. Allison. Two years older. And a brother, Cameron. He was a surprise. To all of us. He’s five years behind me.”

I waited a moment. “Crazy aunts? Kids?”

Derek’s eyes were locked on mine and he chuckled softly. “Joss, I wouldn’t be here about to play house with you if I had a kid out there somewhere.”

Oh crap. This man was going to be a problem and I could already tell playing pretend was going to feel way too good for me to keep track of what was real and what wasn’t.

“I was just checking,” I mumbled as I went for more coffee. My cup had been empty since two fake sips ago, but it was giving me something to do with my hands and they needed it.

“Was there anything else you wanted to know? Credit score? Results from my last physical? If I have a record?”

I smirked. “You’re ex-military? SEAL? Yeah, I’m not so worried about any of those. If you pass their physicals and security check, you pass mine.”

His eyes narrowed briefly. “Military brat?”

“Yeah. My stepdad. He was supposed to be retired three years ago, but the Army roped him back in for one more round. Not that it was hard. It’s been his whole life. His dad was in as well. I don’t think he’d know what to do with himself if he got out. Probably drive us all crazy.” I shrugged and took another habitual sip. “Well, my mom anyway. They’re out in Arizona, so Bobby and I don’t exactly have to worry about dealing with him should he come into some unexpected free time.”

I placed the empty cup back on the table and Derek reached for it almost instantly. Instinctively, I grabbed my cup to keep it from him.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting you a refill.”

I still refused to loosen my grip. “What makes you think I need one?”

He grinned. “Because you haven’t swallowed the last five times you put that cup to your lips. Now let go so I can get you another one. Or else I’ll just have them use a new cup. And I know how much you like to recycle.”

Reluctantly, I released my coffee cup. Not because I was against a refill. It just felt like I was surrendering so much more than a paper cup by doing so...

***

J
oss was nervous. Not that I could blame her. I just wished I knew if it was me or the prospect of what we were about to do that was causing her to unravel with such anxiety. Wasn’t like I’d had a ton of time to spend with her before, but when I had been around her she’d always been so chill and matter-of-fact about things, like nothing could shake her. She was steady. Confident.

Today she was a ball of nerves, and not just because she kept drinking from an empty cup. She’d barely made eye contact with me since we got there. Plus, I’d noticed her knee shaking under the table. None of it bothered me, I just wished I knew how to help her feel more at ease. With everything she was already dealing with because of this Travis guy, the last thing I wanted was to add to her stress in any way. I mean, clearly, I was attempting to do the exact opposite. It was fucking annoying to feel like I was failing at it already.

I was walking back to the table with a fresh coffee in hand when I realized filling her up with sugar and caffeine probably wasn’t going to lower her blood pressure any. At the same time, it was suddenly crystal clear what would.

“Come on.” Rather than return her cup, I held out my hand for her. For a moment she looked like she wasn’t going to take it. Okay, for a moment she looked like she was going to smack it out of the way and crush it like a giant cockroach that had come up on her out of nowhere. But then, surprisingly, she reached for me.

“I forgot you had that job you needed to get to. Sorry.”

“Never mind the job. It can wait until tomorrow.” Still holding onto her, I maneuvered a path for us through the busy coffee shop.

“Then where are we going?”

I could feel her hand tense up in my palm, like she was having second thoughts about the contact.

“To pick up some soil.”

“Soil?” We were back outside. The sun hit her eyes, blinding her, and she made a face.

“Yeah. Pretty sure you have a stack of empty dog baths in your backyard that need to be filled.”

Then, she smiled.

Joss was fucking beautiful. And I was fucking screwed.

W
e’d stopped
and picked up a whole truckload of soil on the way back to my place, which had bumped Hattie up into the passenger seat. She didn’t seem to mind, although much like before, her face seemed to be permanently directed toward the sky, the wind blowing through her thick coat. Driving ahead of Derek in my Bronco, I caught myself staring at Hattie in my rearview mirror several times, smiling at the sight. Simple pleasures were not to be taken for granted.

Next, we’d taken another detour to go see my favorite nursery where we picked up a little bit of everything I thought a dream garden should grow. It was bliss. I mean, I would have been stoked just to be doing it on my own, but having Derek there doing it with me - it was a new kind of happiness. Which put a damper on things temporarily, until I managed to squash all my neurotic fears and simply be.

Living in the moment. Cara had been good at that. So much better than me. She’d spent her whole life trying to teach me how to do it, but it had taken her dying for me to fully grasp the concept.

Fuck. Another damper. Moving on.

It was almost lunchtime when we finally rolled up at my place. I could tell because I could smell Aunt Deb’s chicken fajitas all the way out in the driveway.

I watched as Derek climbed out of his truck and held the door open for Hattie to follow. His eyes were closed as he inhaled.

“So, what are your feelings on living together before marriage? Because I have a feeling I wouldn’t mind eating Deb’s cooking on a daily basis starting yesterday.”

I laughed and tugged his shirt as I passed him by on my way to the door. “You can bring your shit over tonight for all I care, but I got bad news for ya, buddy. I’m in charge of some of the meals around here as well, and mine aren’t nearly as time consuming. Or hot.”

Apparently even Hattie was in the mood for Mexican, since she busted through the door the second I cracked it open.

“Well, clearly my dog already feels at home here.” His arm reached up behind me to hold the door the way that guys did sometimes, while I went in. A simple, meaningless gesture, and yet I couldn’t not smile from ear to ear as I walked toward the kitchen.

“Hey, Doodle, you’re just in time.” Aunt Deb looked up from her sizzling skillet. “Oh, Derek, I didn’t know you were coming. You’ll be joining us, of course?”

It was a question...only it wasn’t.

“If you’re sure there’s enough.”

“Don’t be silly. There’s always enough.” Deb moved on to finish dicing up tomatoes for her homemade pico de gallo when Wyatt came zooming out of the hall and leaping up into Derek’s arms.

“Hey, little dude. What’s happening?”

“Are you going to be my daddy?”

WHAT THE FUCK?!

“Wyatt, baby, what are you talking about?” I practically ripped my son from Derek’s arms. “You know Derek is just our friend.”

“But I hearded you say you and Derek are going to get married.”

“WHAT?” Aunt Deb about dropped the bowl of salsa. I did my best to ignore her obvious outburst and stayed focused on Wyatt.

“When did you hear me say that?”

“This morning. When you brusheded your hair...you saided,
I’m going to marry hot contractor Derek. It’s crazy, but I’m going to do it
.” He even mimicked my expression. I recognized it because I’d been standing in front of the mirror talking to myself when I’d said it. Although, I hadn’t been aware of my audience at the time.

“Oh.” I slowly lowered Wyatt back down to stand on his own two feet. My eyes were squeezed shut. There’d be no avoiding Deb and Derek staring at me, watching my face turn a thousand different shades of red, but at least I wouldn’t have to see them while they were doing so.