Withholding Secrets (5 page)

The smirk faded as his eyes softened as he looked me over again. “Did you have a crayon that was colored jealousy also?”

“You’re a jerk.”

“Just wondering, because you got really pissed when I said that you were special, so I am thinking that maybe you were jealous that you didn’t get that big box of the wonderful colors.”

“You are just the biggest…” Just as I went to say something, a big kid came out of the locker room, catching up with Jordan. He was tall; a lot taller and thinner than the boy I took in under my wing. Damn tall for that age. His hair was blond, and his ball cap was on straight, unlike the way the other’s Jordan’s age were wearing them. They talked for a little bit about the practice, and Jordan’s face was lit up like a Christmas tree.

Turning my head, I watched Sky pull her hands into the sleeves of the jacket, feeling safer with it on. Seeing as the boys were coming out, maybe the jacket was a good thing. Then, I wouldn’t have to beat some boys down for looking at her.

“Can I go and talk to Jordan?” Her dark eyes drifted up to me, waiting for permission, but a sheen was masking a nice coat of safety in them, wishing I would allow her to.

“Go ahead. We are going to go, so when he’s ready, let me know.” My heart sank while watching her walk over to the two bigger boys. She did love her brother, and I was so glad for that. He was the only solid thing in her life that she had. And if they were trying to make friends, I needed to just be patient so they could. Friends were important, and Jordan needed one. A good one.

“You can’t smother them.” The deep voice vibrated through my body as the scent of that soft cologne had become stronger. He was standing close … too close to me. The heat pooled in my belly and the ache stirred in my lower region. I was too afraid to look at him in fear that I would just wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him as if my life depended on it.

“And I can’t let someone else hurt them now, can I?” Growling, I managed to shove down the intense sexual tension that had swirled up in a freak storm and headed to the benches along the walls. Slipping off the jacket, I held it out in my hand as I took a seat on the bench and let the boys talk.

“They are safe here. I would never let anything happen to anyone on my watch.” Kane’s long and strong fingers brushed against mine as he accepted the jacket. Sparks shot through me, bringing the dull flames in the pit of my body to a sudden burst of firestorms. “They will be fine here, and it will give them something to do after school.”

His body filled the spot right next to me, and he draped the jacket over his knee. As if there weren’t enough benches along the wall, he chose to sit tight to me, but it was too close. I moved slightly from the nonchalant bump of his long and muscular leg, and I wished that I was back by the ice where it was much cooler. And had a whole lot more seating.

His breath came out in a rush and his chest rose slowly as he took in his next gulp of air. “You’re not their mother, are you?”

“Pretty sure there is no crayon in that box that’s named
mind your own damn business
, but I sure can make one.” My intentions weren’t to be nasty to Kane, but those kids were my responsibility and I wouldn’t allow anyone else to take them away. It wasn’t me anymore. It wasn’t just myself. And if this guy was going to jump into our business, then I would have to just pay the man off for the damage Jordan did and be done with Kane.

“Listen: there are people that you can call to take them and find them a good home…” His voice softened, and, along with his look, I was knocked straight in the gut by the hands of betrayal.

Shoving the jacket at him, I stood and walked away without saying a word. Those two weren’t going anywhere. They were in my custody, and that was where they were going to stay. The one lesson that my mom had drilled in our heads was that if we slept in the bed, we had to make it no matter how messy it was. And to hell if I would be another person that abandoned those two.

Skating over to the team bench, the girl sat hiding in the jacket that I gave her on Saturday. It was just an extra jacket that I had from last year’s stock that didn’t sell, so I gave it to her seeing that she wasn’t properly dressed for being at the rink. That little girl didn’t need to be subjected to the wondering eyes of those boys. So, I brought out some jackets. The girl would probably return it to me before she left after today’s practice, but it really didn’t matter. I could write it off on my taxes if I really needed to.

But it was that horrible woman who stole my weekend right from under me. That wench was using
my
jacket. The one she damn near threw back at me just after I managed to press the button that
colored her angry
. And that whole Saturday night at the club, she was all that occupied my mind. What was her story? What was up with those two kids? What was their story, and why was she acting so damn overbearing with those two kids? 

Leaning on the wall, I cleared my throat. The girl’s brand new pink backpack was at her feet. When the boys were on the ice, I would send her into the penalty box where she wouldn’t catch a flying puck or a body if it came down to a check that sent one over the board. Besides, the only way in or out was the ice, and that way, I could keep an eye on that particular girl.

Slowly, her eyes drifted up to mine as the fear packed thickly in the sheet of watery glass and I could see right through her. She was a little girl for crissakes! These two hadn’t just come from a broken home, but a bad one. That little girl had been around the hands of a monster, and I hoped like hell that someone stopped it before anything happened. That was why the vile woman was the way that she was. That was the whole reasoning behind the way she acted in my office upon our first meeting.

“Do you know how to take good notes?” I asked. Maybe if I was able to get her a little involved, she would relax a little. My rink and my ice were safe places for any age. Always had been and always would be. I didn’t have anything like that when I was Jordan’s age until I was adopted, and I knew there were plenty of kids out there who needed somewhere to go to when they weren’t safe or feeling safe.

She nodded slightly as her eyes went down to her backpack and a tear trickled down her innocent, soft cheek.

“It would help if I didn’t need to stop to write anything down. Would you mind writing down some notes for me?”

“Is my brother coming out?”

“He will be shortly.” I bit my lip and drew in the long breath of air realizing the anger Jordan held inside now. My issues were bad at that age, but I didn’t have a sister to protect back then. It was just myself, and for as much hell as I had gotten into, hurting a girl was never a part of it. In fact, there was a time that a girl was the reasoning behind my destruction. “What’s your name?”

“Skylar.”

“So, Skylar,” reaching over the team’s bench wall, I caused her to jump a little, which made my lunch crawl up my throat. I managed to swallow it back down and pass the clipboard that was sitting beside her over to her, “would you take the notes on here? I have all the players written down, and when I call out a name, just write down what I say to them.”

Her hands trembled as she took the clipboard, her eyes already scanning over my notations.

“The woman that you’re living with, is she okay to both of you?” I had to ask.

My one main goal in my life now was to make sure there were no kids under a bad hand if I could help it. I didn’t care who it was or what they were, if the kids were getting abused, there was no way that I would allow any of that. Not after the way I had been treated under my parents’ hands. No kid should ever have to live like that. Punishment for doing something wrong wasn’t bad, but when there were heavy bruises or neglect, that was another.

“Keri’s great, but Jordan told me not to fall into it. She’s going to give us away. I really do like her.” A little sob came from her as she covered her mouth with the sleeved hand. “She makes me feel like I matter and that I am safe with her. And Jordan just tells me that it’s a matter of time. And I don’t want to leave her.”

“Can I tell you something?” I nodded as I glanced at the doorway, still not seeing anyone yet, and I hadn’t expected to for another five minutes or so. “I’m going to let you in on a little secret.” Letting out a deep breath, I felt my chest tighten. “I was taken out of my home when I was maybe a little younger than you.”

Her eyes shot up to mine as the tears just rolled freely. “You were?”

“My parents were not good people. Someone called and turned them in and I was taken away from them. Spent some time going from home to home. Finally, I was adopted by this couple and they were very good to me. Not all people are bad, Skylar. You just have to be aware and not be scared to say something if one does come along and hurts you, or tries to hurt you. There are people out there to help you if needed.” I sighed, hearing the rowdiness of the boys coming, ready to play. I liked them jacked up before practice because it had gotten their minds into the game. That was what the captain was for, and he was damn good at it. “My place is always open if you need to tell me something. Either one of you. I know what it’s like. I’ve been there. You don’t have to be scared here.”

“It’s just so hard to know. Keri’s really nice to me, but Jordan doesn’t buy it.”

“I know it is hard, for both of you.” I opened the door to the bench area and smiled. “Let’s go. I’m going to have you in the box so that you won’t get hurt at all.”

“But if you want me to take notes for you, how am I going to hear you?” She scooped up the shoulder straps to the backpack and slung it over her shoulder while tucking the clipboard under her opposite arm.

“It’s not a
box
, Sky.” I chuckled as I held out my arm to escort her across the ice. “Be careful. It’s slick.”

Getting her into the penalty box, I pulled the door shut as the guys came out of the hall from the locker room. After lining them all up and hushing them to a dull roar, I went over the plans for the practice and what they needed to work on while going through some drills. While I was calling out players and things they did wrong, right, or needed to tweak a little, the smile spread through me as I watched the girl working on taking notes.

We had the first game coming up, and I wanted them to be ready for the pressures and the heat that came from bringing up their game. With the long summer, some were still rusty and I had to make a decision on maybe cutting a couple loose. They just weren’t in it, and getting hurt on the ice wasn’t something that I allowed to happen under my control. Some teams let the kids play whether or not they actually wanted to. Not me. I wasn’t going to put some kid in a position that could jeopardize his future or the futures of others who dreamed of the
NHL
.

Skating over to the box, I opened the door and held out my hand for the clipboard. Seeing the notes, I had to laugh. She had written down almost everything that I said out there. Too much, but I didn’t care. The more notes that I had, the better to make my decision that would be best for this team. “I appreciate this.”

She nodded as she stood, slipping her arms through the straps of the backpack.

“Just wait until the boys clear the ice first.” Glancing over a few things, I gritted my teeth. Ziegler wasn’t doing as well as I had expected him to, but he was more concentrated on who he could fight with than anything. Maybe that would be the first cut there. Fights were expected on the ice, but forbidden on the juniors’ teams. This was a game of teamwork, not to fight. “This one seems to be worried about who he can box, doesn’t he?”

She pointed at the note on there. “I thought I would write that down because I saw that when you were talking to the tall one.”

“Good. Good. That helps a lot. Sometimes I can’t see everything.” I handed the board back to her as I glanced over at her brother taking the nets down. “I gave your brother a job. Would you like one, seeing as you’re going to be here with him?”

“I’m twelve. I can’t work.”

“You can, but I would have to talk to Keri first about it. I wouldn’t want to go behind her back.”

“Do you think that she would let me?”

“I’ll talk to her.” Pushing off the ice, I went to the team bench and pulled out two sticks that were extras. Making my way over to Jordan, I passed him one. “Come with me.”

He did as I directed. Putting him at the goal, I gave him a stick and nodded. He held it tightly as he crouched a little, waiting, instincts breaking through already.

Going back a way, I slid the puck to him and sent it down the ice at him, making sure that it hadn’t lifted. Not geared up and in shoes, I didn’t want him to have to catch one unguarded. He had stopped it in a flash. Another one, he had done the same. The kid was quick, and maybe a goalie. Ours was slower, but this was his last year with the team, too.

Skating around, I faked to the right and hit it in toward the left, but he hadn’t bought it. He blocked in a heartbeat.

“Why in the hell didn’t you tell me that you were that good?” I asked as I glided across the chewed up ice toward him.

“Does it matter?” He handed the stick back to me and tended to the net, per his job instructions.

“It could. Why don’t you skate up next time and show me that you can skate?”

“She ain’t going to let me play, so get it out of your head.” His lips snarled as he looked over at his sister standing at the door of the box. “Let’s go.”

“Maybe, but you won’t know unless you ask.”

“Dude, she doesn’t want us. Give it a break.” He bit his lip, waving Skylar to him. “Get your stuff ready.” His eyes shot back to me, filling with anger. “Besides, I have to work off the damages.”

“I need a new goalie, and you need something to do after school to keep your behind out of trouble.” This kid wasn’t going to get off that easy; not with me. He had skill, and the heart to match it. But the anger was still crawling over his skin at what his life was at this point. I had to try.

“I know what it costs to play. She’s not going to pay for this, so screw off. When I’m done working, I’m done working.” Instead of the rage peering out in those dark brown doe eyes, I could tell he wanted to play just as bad as he wanted to trust that Keri wanted to keep them. But, for the years I was sure he was lied to and tossed around, he didn’t want to get his hopes up just to be shipped off to the next home.

“But you like playing—” Sky’s cheeks darkened as she looked at her brother, wanting to say more, but his glare at her caused her to back down.

“You need to get it out of your head that this is going to work out. These people don’t give a shit about us. Now, let’s go.” He grabbed her hand and walked her across the ice. She stayed close to him as he gathered up the gear at the bench. When he had gone into the locker room, she had stayed right by the door, waiting faithfully and unwearyingly.

Stepping into the box, I watched the woman wearing a blue blouse and a black skirt that went to her knees making her way down the hall and into the arena. Her hair was up in a twist and the scarf was tied around her neck. With her keys tight in her fist, she went to the left but stopped. Turning, she came to the right, following the bleachers toward the team benches. The worry was spread over her face as she chewed her bottom lip while searching for Skylar.

Leaning against the wall, I folded my arms across my chest and waited for her to notice me standing there. My chest tightened as her shoulders tensed and her steps froze just as those gun metal gray eyes found me in the background. The crimson sank into her cheeks as the frost covered her eyes. Yup. She still remembered what I said to her the last time we spoke. She wasn’t going to give them up. Not without a fight. And the gravitational pull of my interest in her just increased.

“I want your kids.”
Way wrong thing to say, Coach
. And I didn’t mean it like how it came out, but I couldn’t take it back. I just wanted to draw the kids into something they both could do to keep them from ruining their lives.

Her fist tightened more over her small set of keys, and the blasting rage shot through her so fast that it made me want to back up. I didn’t, though. I wanted to see just how serious she was. And she was serious. Her jaw was locked tightly together as the fierce growl came out of her. “You mess with those kids and I will cut off every limb on your body, including your favorite appendage.”

“Let me guess,
color you raged
.” Damn. That wasn’t supposed to come out either, but to me, she was overreacting just a little.

“Screw you. You are not having anything to do with them.” The tears filmed over her eyes as she stepped back. Her hands were shaking, and I could damn near see her heart beating out of her chest. “You want to take them, it will be over my dead body. Do you understand me?”

“There doesn’t happen to be a
calm color
in there, or maybe a
sensible
one?” Enough teasing before I really sent her over the edge and landed myself into another cold shower before going anywhere. What was it with her and her damn anger that turned me on so much? It was like a drug that I was beginning to crave, to need, to desire to have in my life. “I just wanted to talk to you about maybe seeing if Jordan would want to play, and while Skylar is here, she can help out, too. Of course, I would pay her for her work.”