Breathe With Me (The Breathe Series Book 3) (11 page)

“I don’t know…I don’t know…I didn’t even touch her!” Chris shouts out in the corner of the living room. “I just don’t know what happened…”

“Did you scare her or…” Hayden asks, sounding just as freaked as Chris.

“I don’t know…I have no clue what happened like I said.”

My legs steer directly in Chris’ direction as my fists ball together, one still clasping the phone.

“Evan!” Abby yells and after a quick warning look at Chris and Hayden, I turn and bolt into the back bedroom to find Piper lying on the bed motionless.

The sheets are scattered about beside her and that alone makes all the feeling drain from my body until I’m damn near numb except for the thundering of my heart. She lies on her side with her blanket drawn up to her chin and her knees pulled up in a fetal position beneath the covers.

“Evan,” Abby calls out, but my attention is set dead ahead as my feet slam against the wood floor in a frantic pace to get to her side. “I don’t know what happened. All I know is Chris said…” My jaw tenses as she says his name. Abby rambles on, her voice trembling, “…that she passed out or something and I remembered her telling me that you…”

I snap my head to Abby, hoping she’ll just stop as I shove my phone in my pocket and slide onto the edge of the bed. Abby quiets, pressing her lips together and stepping forward. I look back down to Piper, my heart shattering at how young she looks; like a child that had their innocence ripped away from them in a sick and twisted way by someone they thought they could trust. A lump forms in my throat as I lean down and try to form words.

“Pi…” I clear my throat, placing my hand gently on her cheek. “Piper?” I whisper softly, not wanting to startle her in any way. No matter how timid and sweet she looks, I know she has fight in her and she may very well wake up swinging. When she sees it’s me, she may start throwing punches regardless. “Piper.” I slide my hand over her cheek to her shoulder and down to her upper arm, keeping my touch light and on the exterior of the covers. “Piper, baby, wake up.”

My brows dip as I say words that I haven’t said in so long, yet it seems like it was only days ago that I was this close to her; only minutes ago when I last had to face this with her.

I move my face closer, only inches from her mouth. Flicking my eyes down to her lips, I get a knot in my stomach thinking selfish thoughts I should not be thinking at a time they most definitely should not surface.

“Piper…”

I nudge her again, only this time she intakes a mouthful of air and relaxes her body, sending a wave of relief through me. My chest aches just looking at her, being this close yet knowing I have to hold back. Dropping just a bit of my hesitation, I take her face in my hands, softly, and lean down, placing my forehead to hers so I can reach her; reach inside and pull her out of this like I always used to.

“Baby, wake up…” I whisper, hardly able to hear my own words. “Breathe with me. You remember…I breathe, you breathe.” Everything I have held deep down crashes against the walls of my chest with each word. “Come on Piper, open your eyes. Take another breath and look at me.”

Her eyelashes flutter and she gasps in a quick gulp of air. Pulling my head back slightly, I stare down at her, gently running the edge of my thumb over her cheek bone, over and over again. A smile ticks at the corner of my lips as her eyes slowly begin to open. These episodes have always scared me. This one is a walk in the park compared to some I’ve seen her have and those were from when I would get too close to her or touch her in a way that took her back. An anger burns in me with the thought of what triggered this particular one.

“Evan,” Piper says in a breathy whisper with her eyes only half open.

“Hey, yeah…I’m here. Are you ok?” I lean in close to her face again; so close that I can make out the flecks of violet in her deep dark brown eyes as she opens them wider.

“Hi,” she mumbles in a sleepy tone with her lips slightly curving into a smile.

I want to leap up and take her in my arms; bounce up and down with my hands in the air like a prize fight champion, and flip off any guy that’s ever made advances towards her, all at the same time. Just as my heart slams in my chest in celebration, her face twists into shock with her eyes wide and she quickly slides out of my hold, back against the headboard. All the hopes and wishes that I’ve carried around for years where she is concerned take an immediate free-fall from the uphill climb it was finally on.

“Evan, what the hell are you…”

“Whoa, whoa…I’m just here to help,” I point one hand towards Abby, standing defenseless by the bed and the other hand I hold up, trying to calm her from an explosion I feared may happen at the sight of me. “Abby said you had blacked out and I just thought…”

Piper’s eyes go wild and she snaps her head around to look at Abby. I follow Piper’s gaze and given any other circumstances, I’d probably drop to the floor rolling in a fit of laughter over the completely terrified look on Abby’s face. Her wide eyes dart from me to Piper as she opens her mouth. With Abby’s feisty attitude and quick wit, for a blonde anyways, I had always thought she was damn near made of steel.

“Wait…I only called him because you had said that he had helped you through this sort of thing before.” She looks back to me in a silent plea for help to make Piper understand.

Her words surprise me a little, just the same as when she mentioned it earlier on the phone. Even though Abby and Piper have been BFF’s since they were nearly in diapers, I thought for sure that what had happened to her years ago was something she’d never tell a soul; well except me and I made sure to screw that up.

Slapping my hand across my forehead and regretting even bringing her into this, I turn my sight to Piper who is still focused on Abby. Her eyes are hooded over by drawn down brows and her face a scornful mask that could possibly make someone roll over in their grave.
I always hated when I got that glare. That is the exact look Grandpa always warned me about when he’d say, “Son, if a woman ever gives you ‘the look’, either roll over and play dead, get ready for the doghouse or go fetch whatever the hell bone she throws at you.”

“Piper…” She immediately flicks her deep dark eyes on me.
Oh hell.
“Abby was just worried. She thought I could wake you up, because obviously she is aware of the situation and how you get.” I keep all sarcasm and defeat out of my voice, unable to meet her eyes as I stare past her at the headboard.

“I’m fine!” she spits out, pulling the sheet to her chest, tighter as if I’m someone that would take advantage of her or even hurt her.

That act alone rips my chest wide open and leaves my heart exposed, bleeding and barely beating.
I’d never hurt her. Dammit, she knows that.

Clamping my jaw, I slowly grind my teeth and stare right into her eyes, wanting nothing more than to reach out and loosen the defensive hold she has on the barrier she’s placed between us. She looks back, penetrating every thread of my soul with that look alone. This is the one thing she has always had over me. If she wanted something, was hurt or scared, or even had the slightest hesitation in talking to me, one look is all it took; I’d know exactly what to do, what she needed to make anything better. This look…

God, that look is my undoing.

Her eyes aren’t ice cold as they have been the last several years when I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to look into them. They are emotionless, telling me to keep my distance. They reflect all the hurt I caused her, displaying the deceit that a tiny slip of the mouth can create in a person that you would give absolutely anything for. She stares at me with the eyes that used to say I was everything, but now I’m just another guy she doesn’t trust.
Did I really lose her for good?
I relax my jaw and let the defeat course through me, letting out a deep beaten down sigh as I look down.

“Piper, I just…” I start, then pause remembering that Abby is only ten feet away. I’m sure she knows the whole story, but the last thing I want is a bunch of witnesses when I bare my soul.

“Oh wow…Ummm…maaaaybeeee…I should go…you know…I can just make myself…” Abby rambles, but is interrupted as the covers shuffle in front of me and I see movement from Piper.

I glance back up and watch as she quickly motions with one finger held up to Abby. “You don’t have to leave.” She looks back at me and meets my eyes, the pace of my heart kicking up in dread, hope and fear all jammed together causing it to verge nearer and nearer to exploding. “Evan, I said I am fine. You really should not have come. I don’t need your help…anymore.” She emphasizes the last word, a method of shoving the knife in so damn deep that my heart may just bleed out right in front of her.

Gulping, I rock my head in a quick repeated nod, a little pissed off that I even took the time to give a shit and more than anything wanting to march right out to the living room, smash my fist right into her arrogant boyfriend’s face and then go dive into the ice cold lake to cool off.

“Yeah, ok,” I say, pressing my lips together to keep from saying anything I may regret.
How can someone go from staring into the eyes of someone who he always thought would be his future, with his heart wide open, to being dismissed like some stranger that never mattered?

Abby’s feet make a gentle tapping noise as she moves beside the bed. “Piper, I called him. He wouldn’t have come if I hadn’t called him. I just thought it would help…I mean you were unconscious and I was scared. Chris was scared to death…he had no idea what happened.” She points behind her towards the living room and I grit my teeth. Not helping my desire to kick the living shit out of his don’t-know-how-to-keep-his-hands-to-himself ass.

“It’s fine, Abby. I’m not mad…I just want to be alone.”

“Just don’t be mad at him. Be mad at me if you want to, but Evan only helped. He woke you up,” Abby pleads in a compassionate tone.

Tilting my head to the side, I look her way giving her a half smile with my lips pulled to one side to relay my appreciation. I look back at Piper with my hands flat on the bed, ready to jump up and go.

“I just want to be alone,” Piper announces, emotion cracking her voice and automatically tugging at my heart.

I don’t do what I want.

I ignore every ounce of my body that is programmed to respond to the desperation in her tone. Instead, I stand, shoving my hands into my jean pockets and then pause by the bed.

“Piper, just let us help…”

“I just want to be alone! Just leave!” she calls out, a hint of anger taking over her usual sweet and calm demeanor. “Please…” a cry breaks through the wall she’s putting up at this very moment, but I listen.

Moving one foot in front of the other, I do as she says, but then stop right before passing through the doorframe. Closing my eyes for a split second as I feel her gaze burning through my skull, I decide screw it;
what do I have to lose?
I spin around on my heels to face her, Abby nearly colliding into me.

“Oh, sorry…” She steps aside, but also pauses, looking at me in question.

I don’t say a word, although what I have to say is on the tip of my tongue, lodged there.

“Leave me alone, please!” she fires back at me.

“Evan, let’s go. I think Piper needs to be alone for a minute.”

Abby nudges at my sleeve, still standing beside me, but I can’t move my eyes from Piper. We’re locked in a stare-off, my heart hammering and my mouth itching to spit out the words. She stares back, a look of defiance, determined to stand her ground.

Clearing my throat, I swallow down all my expectations and hope that she can take what I’m saying at face value, even though it has more meaning than anyone else could ever imagine.

“I’ll leave,” I say in a steady tone, barely loud enough for her to hear across the room. “But I’m still here…” I pause, curious if this will even sink in. “I’ve always been here…all along.”

EVAN WALKS OUT THE DOOR,
and although everything inside of me is screaming for him to stay, for him to help me take my next breath like he used to, I let him walk away. The look in his eyes when he said those last words drop my heart into my stomach, but even that can’t overpower the tainted, dirty feelings that those memories brought over me. Trent’s touch still creeps across my skin, his words echo in my head, and it has always made me view the act of intimacy in a negative, unappealing way.