Faded Perfection (Beautifully Flawed Book 2) (21 page)

“Are you sure it’s okay that they do that?” I asked, nodding to the puppies three in a row dragging one another by their ears.

West laughed as he leaned back on the couch, tapping on my shoulder as he did. “Relax, Mommy. They’ll be fine.”

I bit my lip and sat back, sinking into the cushions to avoid the warmth of his arm behind me.  My whole body was warm enough as it was from the five hours I spent laughing with him– I didn’t need a reminder of the physical attraction too. We sat in silence for a moment, and it wasn’t awkward. This was too easy. I glanced over at West to find him smirking at something on the wall. My eyes followed his to my Yamaha guitar. It was one of the only reminders I kept of Adam. I couldn’t stand to leave it in the case, so the day I moved in I also bought a wall hook for it, but I hadn’t touched it since.

“You play?” West asked as he nodded at it.

My chest tightened. “A bit.”

West’s eyebrows wiggled at me, and I rolled my eyes as I stood, stepping over the tumbling puppies and took it off the wall.

“What kind of music do you like?” I asked as I sat on the couch again, bringing my legs up under me and crossing them as I put the guitar in my lap. I stared at him with wide eyes. “Tool? Deftones?”

“Eagles.”

I looked down at the guitar and took a deep breath before I began to strum. The lyrics flowed from my lips as my fingers moved over the strings. I hadn’t played for so long that the pressing of the strings bit into my fingers, but I kept playing because it felt so good. The tightness in my chest from the thought of Adam eased away as I realized I enjoyed playing, and I enjoyed being around West. It was nice not have him expect me to be a certain way. He hadn’t known me as I child, and I could do and say things that felt like me– the me I was now. When the song ended, I looked up to find West leaning forward, arms pressed against his knees and fingers entwined. He shook his head, jaw slightly slack.

“You’re beautiful– I mean your voice– it’s beautiful. I mean well, you are too.” He sat back pushing his fingers into his temples. “I’m sorry if I crossed a friendship line there by saying that–” his eyes rose up to mine, and his cheeks flushed; “it’s just…you are.”

I bit my lip to keep from smiling. My face was as hot as his. “You’re not too bad yourself.”

Bobby’s words echoed in my head
–Tell him
.

“It’s good to have a friend,” I finally said as our eyes locked on each other. It was kind of liking telling him — at least I was drawing a line with my words. My heart, on the other hand, was hammering in my chest. He wasn’t hard on the eyes at all– especially with those eyes and tattoos–plus the smile and personality. A cry from Bagel broke my wandering gaze, and I shot up from the couch. West stopped me, putting a hand on my arm and sending tingles through my body.

“Easy,” he said, and he nodded to Bagel now biting Walter’s hind leg.

“I guess this is going to take some getting used to,” I said as I sat back down and I meant more than just the dogs playing. I took a deep breath as I pulled the guitar back into my lap. I began to strum again to distract myself and then started singing more to myself than anything– Foreigner.

West chuckled to himself, and I glanced up to see him leaning back shaking his head, eyes locked on me. “I guess so.”

I played two more songs, carefully watching my fingers as they glided over the strings before looking back up to see West with a pile of puppies sleeping on him. I laughed as I stood and placed the guitar back on its hook before carefully extracting Bagel from the sleeping pile. I laid back on the couch, putting him on my chest. His eyes blinked slowly at me before he gave me a single kiss on the chin and fell back to sleep. My own eyes began to get heavy as I pet him, and my gaze flickered over to West. His head rested on top of Sadie as she sat on his chest and over his shoulder. I grabbed my cell phone from the coffee table, careful not to move enough to wake Bagel and snapped the picture before closing my own eyes. I sank into a deep, dreamless sleep– but instead of being the damming darkness I knew for the past eight months it was warm and comforting–like West.

My mouth watered as the smell drifted over me– garlic, basil, and tomatoes as if I fell asleep in an Italian heaven. My eyes opened, and I leaned up, stretching to find all the puppies and West were gone. I glanced over the top of the couch to see West humming to himself as he leaned back against the counter next to the stove, a steaming pot next to him. His gaze lifted. “I know you’re probably sick of me by now, but I figured I would cook us dinner and then leave you alone.”

I was far from tired of his company, and I didn’t mind at all. I stood and made my way into the kitchen, but as I came around the corner of the column between the two my foot slipped on something wet. I tried to grab for support, but the column was round and just as slippery as the wet hardwoods. I came down in a heap–sprawled out in a puddle of puppy pee. West walked forward, arms out as he tried to hide a smirk.

“It’s not funny,” I replied, my tone harsh but there was a smile forming on my lips as I glanced at the puppies looking anywhere but at me; as if they knew it was their fault.

West gave me a hand up. “It kind of is.”

My mouth dropped open, and I huffed, crossing my arms as I narrowed my eyes at him. “You should’ve been paying attention to them.”

He threw his hands up, still smiling. “Well, sorry! I was busy making dinner while you got some beauty sleep.”

The word beauty reminded me he slipped up and went utterly red when he called me beautiful. I bit my lip as he walked back into the kitchen, his jeans perfectly fitting over his ass.

You’re covered in puppy pee!

I looked down at my soaked jeans and felt the warmth of it sinking through my thin cotton t-shirt. “Fine, well, how long until dinner’s done?”

West leaned down, popping open the oven and my eyes went to his ass
again.
Followed by them drifting up to where his t-shirt wasn’t covering his back dimples anymore.

I needed a shower. A cold one.

“Ten minutes,” he replied, glancing over at me. “Not sure if that’s enough time for a chick to take a shower.”

I rolled my eyes. “You don’t know me that well.”

As I walked away, I heard him say, “Yet.”

I inhaled through my nose and out my mouth before continuing up the stairs. When I came down less than ten minutes later, West was on the back porch, where he set out our food and was pouring glasses of wine.

“I hope you don’t mind I popped this open,” West said as I came outside. His gaze wandered over me quickly before he coughed and sat down. It wasn’t like there was much for him to look at with me in yoga pants and a baggy t-shirt that hung off one shoulder, but he still seemed unnerved by it.

“Not at all,” I replied, sitting down across from him. I lifted my glass, and he followed suit. “To this.”

I didn’t say to friendship. I wasn’t sure what
this
was, or what this was going to be, but I did know I didn’t feel like I was in that hole with Bobby. West’s chuckle warmed me.

“To this,” he repeated.

We ate in silence for a moment, and then my gaze drifted up to him. He gave me a light smile before taking a sip of the wine. I grabbed a piece of bread, debating what I was going to say.

“It’s nice not being alone for once,” I finally said.

West tipped his head. “Are you alone a lot?”

“Single, determined woman– alone is kind of what I do well– besides working,” I replied as I took another sip of wine. “Did Jesse mention why he set me up with Maggie as a photographer?”

West’s lips slipped downward as he shook his head. “I figured it was just because you’re good. I did think it was odd because it seems like you already work a lot and he’d know that, being your boss and all.”

“He’s also kind of my friend,” I replied, pushing my ravioli around my plate before looking up again. West leaned forward, eyes intent on me. It was time to tell him. I needed to be honest because I was obviously attracted to him and it seemed like he was attracted to me. I bit the inside of my cheek before finding the words. “He watches out for me. A few months ago I broke up with my boyfriend, and I kind of lost everything because of it and things that happened before that. I guess Jesse thought I needed some friends and meeting Maggie would help with that.”

West’s lips parted, but he seemed at a loss for words. “You can’t not have friends– you’re so–“

“Nice, but driven and being driven tends to
drive
people away. In college I drove away all my friends by the end…except…” My voice faded, and I swallowed, glancing out at the dimly lit yard.

West reached across the table and put his hand over mine. “The tattoo?”

I bit my lip nodding.

He squeezed my hand and leaned back, his thumb drawing soft circles over my skin. “What about family? In my experience, they’re kind of hard to drive away.”

I scoffed, shaking my head as I looked down at our hands. “I see my dad once a week– he comes up on Saturdays, and we spend the day watching TV, having dinner and talking.”

“That sounds nice–so why do you seem so angry about it?” West’s voice was soft, his words said slowly, as if he was afraid to insult me.

I fought the urge to stand up and sit in his lap–to be in the warmth his smile sent me– to be wrapped in his natural happiness.

“My dad comes secretly. My mom and I… I’m not on good terms with her. I guess we were never on good terms but last year on Thanksgiving she crossed a line and I haven’t been able to get passed it,” I said, and my eyes moved up his hand to his arm spiraling with color –waves, koi fish, lotus and cherry blossoms. Mom would die if she saw him. If I was skanky, he was an absolute man-slut.

Jesse did say he’s a womanizer.
And you’re a man-eater.

“Doesn’t agree with your choices?” West asked as he lifted his wine up to his thin, very kissable lips.

My chest rose as I nodded.

“Well, let’s say you’d probably go into shock if you met my family– blue collar, nose in the air, house on the vineyard people. Very un-tattooed.”

“And how do they take to–” I signaled to his arm and collarbone, my pulse hitching as he winked at me.

“You haven’t even seen them all,” he replied, and his eyes locked on mine, devious in their twinkle as if he knew I wanted to know where the others were. As if to say it’s only a matter of time.

I swallowed hard, looking down at my pasta.

“Let’s just say they got used to it…and my mom tries to think of it as art–my dad tries to think of it as proving I have a high pain tolerance and a talent with my hands.”

My eyes shot up at that, and he leaned back laughing. My face burned, and my mind raced to places it should definitely not be.

“Do you now?” I managed to stutter.

Flirt. You’re such a damn flirt.

I wasn’t sure if I was chastising him or myself in my head–or worse, neither.

He reached across the table and flipped my arm, running his fingertips up to the tattoo he gave me and traced its outline. The tingling started from somewhere other than my arm, and I bit hard on my cheek as he sat back, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Yeah,” I said as I leaned forward and grabbed my glass of wine. “You’re talented alright.”

I heaved a sigh, pulling the covers down from my face and looked at the foot of my bed to the crate. Bagel sat pressing his nose against the bars, a whimper coming from his lips as his sad puppy eyes stared back at me. I couldn’t resist him, and ended up getting him and cuddling him into my arms. When my phone rang that it was time to wake up I opened my eyes to see Bagel on his back, paws draped over my arms and ears splayed over against the pillow.

He thinks he’s a human.

I laughed to myself as I reached over him, careful not to disturb him and grabbed my phone. I swiped my finger across the screen, silencing the alarm and then looked down at the still sleeping puppy. He could probably sleep through anything. I laid back next to him and lifted my phone over us to take a picture. Bagel was adorable. I was a hot mess, but the puppy made the picture. I typed in West’s name and then looked down at Bagel, now awake. “Is it weird for me to send this?”

Bagel blinked at me before licking my face.

I laughed, pushing his face away as I replied,”You’re right, we’re just friends so it isn’t.”

My phone buzzed as I slipped out of bed. I glanced down at the preview to see a picture of West, shirtless, with one puppy on his chest; its head tucked into his shoulder and one laying out frog style against his side. His green eyes were soft with sleep, enhanced by a crooked smile. I bit my lip as I opened the text and the picture enlarged so I could see the whole of his tattooed body beneath the puppies. The full sleeves capped at his shoulders, connected only by the words Sadie’s head obscured, but she didn’t entirely hide his chiseled chest. I rolled my eyes, cheeks flushing before flipping back to the text portion. If he were my boyfriend, that would be my screen saver. The text above the picture read:

No fair. 

But didn’t allude to what wasn’t fair. Him looking so good certainly wasn’t fair to me or the friendship zone I was attempting to set up. My phone buzzed again.

I see being convincingly cute and sad is a trait that runs in the family.

That made sense. I typed back a response:

Yeah, not fair at all. I had no chance.

I placed the phone on the bathroom sink as I pulled my shirt over my head, and it buzzed across the surface.

I don’t have one either. 

I slid my pajama bottoms off before turning on the water and glancing back at my phone. My stomach fluttered, and I grabbed it, naked texting yet again. I wondered what West would think of that, but shook the thought from my head.

Whatever will we do?

The response came before I could put my phone down.

I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. But if things keep going like this I’m a total goner. Not that I’m complaining. 

My heart hammered in my chest. I had a distinct feeling we somehow veered into talking about us. My breath caught in my throat as I replied:

Same here. So what days work best for your schedule for doggy training classes? I’ll have to move around my Zumba and spin classes 😉

I wanted to see him again. I wanted to hear his laugh; to feel the warmth it embraced me with and to forget what I was running from. My eyes lifted to my silhouette in the mirror. Maybe I wasn’t running from anything anymore, though. I took a shaky breath as my eyes fell back to my phone. That idea was scarier than running.

Tuesday and Thursday at six?

Ready or not.

Sounds perfect.

I inhaled, letting the air in my lungs out slowly before putting the phone down. As I got into the shower, it buzzed, and I saw his response on the screen.

I’ll meet you at your place at 530. Take your car? I make dinner?

We texted like that the whole morning, in between me getting dressed and driving to work. My eyes drifted to the tattoo parlor as I drove by and I saw the unmistakable orange Audi already in the lot. My mind kept going to him throughout the day. I hadn’t texted anyone like this since…my throat thickened. Since Bobby. Adam and I never really texted that much, but Bobby and I were non-stop. My phone buzzed again, and I stopped typing to look down at it.

You’re wrong. Luke Holland does not beat Rian Dawson. Besides have you seen the guy?

I bit my lip. He did have a point there.

“And who exactly are you texting, smiling like that?” Jesse’s voice interrupted my thoughts, and I jumped, barely saving my phone from flying out of my hands and through the glass wall next to me.

I put my hand over my chest, opening a drawer and dropping the phone into it. “No one.”

Jesse moved from the door frame and sat down in the chair across from me, leaning back with his hands forming a steeple. “Doesn’t seem like no one.”

“We’re friends.”

Jesse’s eyebrows rose. “So did he convince you to get a puppy?”

My shoulders lifted up to my ears as I pressed my palms against my desk. “Maybe…”

He leaned forward signaling to my desk drawer. “I expect some pictures right about now.”

I grabbed my phone out of the drawer and flipped passed the saved one of a shirtless West, moving to a few more appropriate ones and handed it to Jesse. He ran his finger across the screen, and his smile grew. His finger flicked one more time, and I felt my jaw tighten. One eyebrow rose and then his eyes came up to my face.

Of course, he found it.

“So you saved this one for what, eye candy?” Jesse asked, and his tone was as playful as the smile on his lips. I narrowed my eyes at him before grabbing my phone back and putting it away. Jesse chuckled to himself.

“We’re just friends,” I said as he crossed his arms and nodded, his eyes showing he wasn’t convinced. I needed a change of subject, maybe something embarrassing enough to get him to drop the fact I was very attracted to my
friend.
“And where are your secret tattoos?”

Jesse’s head jerked back as he looked at the ceiling before standing and placing a foot on the chair. He lifted the back of his slacks to reveal a tattoo of pine trees on the back of his calf. The forest’s shadows seemed to leak down, taking the beautiful trees into someplace haunting. “By the way, this isn’t the only reason I know him.”

He sat back down, and his eyes became serious. “Maggie’s husband is my best friend — we grew up together– and Maggie’s best friend is West. So we’ve hung out more than just for my tattoo. He’s a good guy.”

“Then why didn’t you want me talking to him?” I asked, leaning forward. His eyes paced over mine and my muscles tightened.

“He
is
a womanizer…it’s just not the way you took it. He’s not cocky. He’s guarded.”

“And you think I’ll break him?” I asked, and I felt my throat thickening. Bobby said I would, or the Bobby in my mind did.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen between you two. I’m not going to pretend I do. If you say you’re just friends, I trust you, and I know you both need that.” Jesse’s eyes dropped to his hands now propped on his knees. “You’d be good for each other, though, if you two can get passed your pasts.”

“
Our
pasts?” I asked as Jesse stood.

He looked over his shoulder at me and gave a firm nod. I knew he wouldn’t say any more; he was West’s friend, and it was West’s choice to tell me, just like I expected Jesse not to tell West about my past. He nodded towards my door. “Ready for the monthly team meeting, Directorress?”

The team was already gathered around the coffee and donuts I brought in.

“Sure, and they better have left me a Boston Creme donut.”

“Their lives depend on it,” Jesse said with a wink.

 As I followed Jesse out of the room, my eyes drifted back over my shoulder to the drawer where I knew my phone was. I felt my body heat as I wondered just what West had hidden in his past. He seemed secure and confident like there was nothing for him to hide. But I didn’t know him.

And he didn’t really know me.