Girl Alone: Joss came home from school to discover her father’s suicide. Angry and hurting, she’s out of control. (21 page)

‘I know. I’ve passed that on, and you can tell Amelia yourself when she visits. But the social services have to be certain Kevin is safe, and while Eric is in the house he could be at risk.’

‘But Kev is only a little kid, and he’s a boy,’ Joss said naïvely. ‘Perv wouldn’t be interested in him.’

Despite all the news stories we see and hear in the media, many people struggle to believe in the existence of paedophile activity. ‘Joss, love,’ I said gently. ‘If Eric is a paedophile, the fact that Kevin is a young boy won’t stop him. I’m afraid paedophiles find young children sexually attractive, boys and girls.’

‘That’s horrible,’ Joss said, visibly shaken.

‘I know, so you understand why the social services need to make sure Kevin is safe.’

‘Yes, but it’s unfair if Kev has to leave home. It’s perv who should have to leave.’

‘I know, but that might not happen.’ I didn’t tell Joss that her mother was standing by Eric and her faith in him appeared to be unshakeable.

‘If Kev has to go into foster care,’ Joss said thoughtfully, ‘can he come and live here? He could have my bed and I’ll sleep on the floor. I don’t mind.’

I smiled. ‘Children in care have to have their own bedrooms,’ I said. ‘And anyway, it may not come to that. I just thought you should know in case.’

‘I understand,’ Joss said. ‘As long as Kev is safe.’

So I had the confirmation Jill had requested, that Joss understood the impact her allegations could have on Kevin, and with it the added proof that she was telling the truth, not that I needed it.

‘I’ll leave you to your sorting out, then,’ I said. ‘I’ll let you know when I hear more, and lunch won’t be long.’

‘Thanks, Cathy,’ she said with a small smile, and returned to her clothes.

As I returned downstairs I thought again how Joss seemed like a different person now she’d spoken about the abuse she’d suffered at home and her allegations were being acted on. Here she was, in her room contentedly sorting out her clothes, which would have been unheard of a few days ago. I felt my talk with her had gone well and she appreciated that in order to protect Kevin he might have to go into care. I hadn’t told her that her mother had telephoned, because there was nothing positive to say about the call and it would only have upset her.

I put the finishing touches to lunch and was about to call everyone to eat when the phone rang again. It was Jill, telling me that Amelia was aiming to be with us by three o’clock.

‘The poor woman is so busy,’ Jill said. ‘I told her I’d phone you to save her time.’

‘Thank you. I’ve spoken to Joss and she understands that Kevin might have to go into care.’

‘And she was all right about that?’

‘Well, she thought Eric should be the one to leave the house, but she appreciates that might not happen.’

‘OK. You can tell Joss that Zach and Carl have been taken in for questioning by the police. Amelia will talk to her about that too when she sees her this afternoon.’

We said goodbye and I went straight upstairs to Joss’s room. She’d heard the phone and then my footsteps approaching. ‘Come in, Cathy,’ she called before I’d knocked on her door. She looked at me expectantly.

‘That was Jill again,’ I said. ‘Amelia will be coming to see us at about three o’clock this afternoon. And Zach and Carl have been taken in for questioning by the police.’

‘Really? So soon?’ Joss said, surprised.

‘Oh, yes. Serious allegations have to be acted on straight away.’

‘I’m glad I told you,’ she said reflectively. ‘I just wish I’d told you sooner about Eric, but I really felt like it was my fault and everyone would blame me.’

‘Joss,’ I said firmly, ‘abuse is never the fault of the victim. Never, ever. Although the abuser might try to make them feel it is. Hear me and believe me, please.’

‘I’ll try,’ she said quietly.

At three o’clock I was sitting with Joss in the living room, waiting for Amelia to arrive. We were the only ones in the house apart from Toscha, who’d just strolled into the room and was taking up residence on Joss’s lap, circling to find herself the most comfortable position. Outside the day was overcast but not cold or wet; indeed, the air was quite humid for early September, and I’d left the patio door slightly open. Joss and I were making small talk, mainly about pets, as a distraction from the anxiety we were both feeling. Joss said she and Kevin had always wanted a cat or a dog, but Kevin was slightly asthmatic and had an allergy to animal fur, so they’d had to settle for a goldfish instead. Joss mused that when she was older and had a job and flat of her own, she was going to buy two dogs so they would be company for each other while she went out to work. I smiled and said that was nice, although dogs needed regular exercise, unlike cats, who could take themselves for a walk.

Amelia didn’t arrive until 3.30 p.m. She came in flustered and apologized for being late. ‘Don’t worry,’ I said. ‘Would you like a drink?’

‘Oh, yes. Coffee, please,’ she said gratefully. ‘Milk, but no sugar. Thank you.’

I showed her into the living room and left her talking to Joss while I made coffee. Little wonder she was stressed, I thought. She’d arrived at her desk on Monday morning to face a caseload that included two new serious allegations of abuse, in addition to her usual work. As with most local authorities, the funding wasn’t available for more much-needed social workers. I returned to the living room with her cup of coffee and set it on the table within her reach. ‘Thank you so much,’ she said.

I sat on the sofa beside Joss as Amelia drank half of her coffee straight down and then set the cup in the saucer before looking up and addressing us.

‘I’ll talk to you both first, to update you,’ Amelia said. ‘Then I would like to talk to Joss alone.’ I nodded. ‘Joss tells me she’s feeling a bit happier in herself now she’s been able to tell us what has been going on at home.’

‘Yes, she certainly seems more at ease,’ I said.

‘Good.’ Then, looking at Joss, Amelia said, ‘I’ll be able to arrange some counselling for you, but not until after any court cases. If you begin therapy now it could weaken your evidence.’ This was normal practice and it made some sense, as counselling helped a person overcome abuse so that harmful memories faded. ‘But you know you can talk to me or Cathy at any time,’ Amelia added.

‘Yes,’ Joss said, keeping her gaze down and stroking Toscha.

‘I want to talk about what happened with Zach first,’ Amelia said, glancing at the papers she held. ‘Joss, you did very well going to the police station on Saturday straight after the attack. You were able to give a statement to the police, and you were examined by a doctor. I can appreciate what an ordeal that must have been and you did very well.’ Joss nodded but didn’t look up. ‘When the results of the tests are known,’ Amelia continued, ‘the doctor will write her report. That will form part of the evidence, together with the statement you made and any other evidence the police gather. They will then make a decision on whether to prosecute, and we will be told.’

‘Is there a chance the police might not prosecute?’ I asked, feeling this was something Joss would want to know.

‘It will depend on the strength of the evidence against them,’ Amelia said. I glanced at Joss, but she didn’t look up. I sincerely hoped there was enough evidence to prosecute Zach. Joss had been through so much, and for it not to go to court would be a big blow to her.

‘Zach and Carl are being interviewed at the police station,’ Amelia continued. ‘When they’ve finished they will be released. Joss, it’s important you don’t have any contact with either of them. That means not going to Chelsea’s flat or places where Zach and Carl hang out. If they approach you in the street, ignore them and tell me, Cathy or the police. Do you understand?’

‘Yes,’ Joss said, still not looking up.

‘Good. I’ll tell you as soon as I have any news, but don’t expect to hear anything for some time. It takes many months for the police to fully investigate, so we have to be patient.’

‘Will they talk to Chelsea?’ Joss asked, finally glancing at Amelia.

‘Possibly. I don’t know. Why? Are you worried about something?’

‘No, I just wondered.’

‘OK. Do you have any other questions?’

‘Will I have to go to the police station again?’ Joss asked.

‘Yes, very likely, to make a statement about your stepfather, but it may not be for a while, and it will be different to Saturday. You may be interviewed by Ann again, but you won’t need another physical examination, and it will probably be a taped interview. I’ll know more when I’ve spoken to the police.’

Joss nodded.

‘You’re being very brave,’ Amelia said.

‘She is,’ I agreed.

Amelia paused, drained the rest of her coffee and then looked at Joss. ‘When I leave here I shall be going to see your mother and Kevin. I believe Cathy has explained this to you?’ We both nodded. ‘Then the police are likely to want to question your stepfather.’

‘He’ll lie,’ Joss said. ‘Like he always does.’

‘The police will be aware of that. They are highly trained and know which questions to ask to get to the truth. Is there anything else worrying you? Or anything you want to tell me that you haven’t told Cathy?’

‘Not really,’ Joss said.

‘I spoke to your mother on the phone this morning,’ Amelia continued. Joss immediately looked up. ‘One of the things she said was that for the time being she thinks it’s better for everyone if you don’t go home.’

‘Why?’ Joss blurted. ‘Better for who?
Him?
It’s my home and I want to see Kevin.’

‘I know, but we can’t be sure Eric won’t be there, and at present your mother is very upset. If Kevin is brought into care then I will arrange for you to have contact with him, but for now it’s best if you don’t go home until we know what is happening.’

‘That’s not fair,’ Joss protested.

‘We need to do what Amelia tells us,’ I said, lightly touching Joss’s arm.

In the past I’d felt that Amelia had been naïve in the way she’d dealt with some of the issues relating to Joss, but now I felt she was handling this exactly right – sensitively but firmly, and telling Joss what she needed to know. Possibly she’d had a shock by what had happened, but she had a much stronger presence now, and I was seeing her in a new light.

‘And the same restrictions apply to seeing Eric as they do to Zach and Carl,’ Amelia said to Joss. ‘These are serious allegations and while Eric is being investigated you mustn’t have anything to do with him.’

‘I wouldn’t want to,’ Joss said.

Then to me Amelia said, ‘Eric will be told not to contact Joss, but if he does try to see her, refuse and refer him to me, please. Don’t let him speak to her in person or on the telephone.’

‘I understand,’ I said. ‘What about Linda, if she telephones?’

‘She won’t,’ Joss said, scowling.

‘There’s no reason why Linda shouldn’t talk to Joss if they both want to speak to each other,’ Amelia said. ‘But obviously not if it upsets Joss. Perhaps you could monitor it?’

I nodded.

‘School starts tomorrow,’ Amelia now said to Joss. ‘Do you feel up to going?’

‘Yes,’ Joss said without hesitation.

‘OK. But we’d all understand if you didn’t want to go this week. You’re under a lot of stress right now, and either Cathy or I would explain to the school.’

‘I want to go,’ Joss said.

‘All right, but remember you have to come straight home after school,’ Amelia said. ‘No going to Chelsea’s flat, or the shopping centre, or any of the other places you’ve been going.’

‘I won’t,’ Joss said. ‘I’m not daft.’

‘I know you’re not, love,’ I said, ‘but I’d feel happier if I took you and collected you in the car.’

Amelia and I both looked at Joss for her reaction. There was a moment’s hesitation before she said, ‘OK.’

‘Good,’ Amelia said, with a smile, and she made a few notes. Then, checking her watch, she looked at me. ‘Cathy, if there’s nothing else, I’d like to speak to Joss alone now, please.’

‘Of course,’ I said, and immediately stood. I left the room, closing the door behind me.

While they talked in private I took the opportunity to do a few jobs around the house that I’d put on hold with everything else that had been going on that day. I took the clean laundry upstairs and was distributing it around the bedrooms for the kids to put away when I heard the front door open and close as Lucy and Paula returned from shopping. I went to the top of the stairs and motioned to the living room. ‘Joss and her social worker are in there,’ I said quietly.

They understood that they weren’t to be disturbed and came upstairs. We went into Paula’s room where they showed me their purchases – some teen novels, nail varnish and body spray, bought from their allowances. Lucy had also seen a leather jacket she wanted for her birthday, so I said I’d go into town with her as soon as we had the opportunity, probably next Saturday, and if it was suitable I’d buy it for her.

‘It really does suit her,’ Paula said.

Presently we heard Joss call from downstairs, ‘Amelia is going now!’

I went down as Joss came up to join Lucy and Paula. Amelia was standing by the front door. ‘I really must go now to see Linda and Kevin,’ she said. ‘I’m late already. Joss is doing very well, and I’ll phone you or Jill as soon as I have any news.’

We said goodbye and she left as she’d arrived – rushed off her feet and without enough hours in the day.

It was now five o’clock. I went into the living room, closed the patio door, collected up Amelia’s empty cup and then went through to the kitchen to start making dinner. Adrian arrived home half an hour later and we all ate together at six, chatting and laughing, outwardly a normal, happy family enjoying their evening meal, if you didn’t know what had happened to Joss. I glanced at her every so often and thought she was probably putting on a brave face, although she did seem far more relaxed and amicable now the abuse she’d been suffering was out in the open.

After dinner the children cleared away and then did their own thing, sometimes upstairs and sometimes downstairs, where I was. During the evening my thoughts often returned to what was unfolding away from my house. Amelia had been going to see Linda and Kevin. What had she learned from them? Perhaps nothing. Zach and Carl had been at the police station. Were they still there? What had they said? And Eric? Had he come home from work and found Amelia there? Or perhaps he was already being questioned by the police. I didn’t know. Foster carers often have to wait on the sidelines for news while important and life-changing decisions are being made, and the wait can be agonizing. I guessed Joss must have been thinking about what was going on too, although she didn’t say so until bedtime, when I went up to say goodnight.

‘I hope Kevin is all right. Do you think he’s still at home with Mum?’

‘I would think so,’ I said. Joss was sitting up in bed with her lamp on. I perched on the edge of the bed. ‘It’s a bit soon for any decision to have been made,’ I said, although I knew that if a child was in immediate danger, they could be removed quickly with an Emergency Protection Order.

‘I really want to see Kevin,’ Joss said.

‘I know, love, and Amelia said she’d arrange contact if he was brought into care.’

‘I hope he’s not,’ Joss said. ‘That’s his home and he’ll miss Mum. He’ll be with strangers … but I understand he has to be safe.’

I appreciated how difficult and worrying it was for children when they or their siblings were brought into foster care, especially when siblings couldn’t be together.

Joss looked tired and soon gave a small yawn.

‘I think you should try to get some sleep now – you’ve got school in the morning.’

‘It seems ages since I was last at school with everything that has happened,’ she said.

‘It does,’ I agreed. ‘Are you sure you feel up to going tomorrow?’

‘Yes, I want to,’ Joss said. ‘It’ll help take my mind off what’s going on. Miss Pryce won’t be my form teacher any more – we have a new one – but she said at the end of last term that I could still talk to her any time, if I wanted to.’

‘That was nice of her. She’s very caring. Do you think you will tell her what’s happened?’

‘I don’t know.’ She stifled another yawn.

‘Come on, love, snuggle down. You must be exhausted. I know I am.’

Joss hesitated and looked at me, so childlike and unpretentious now she was shedding the layers of hostility and anger that had been her armour for so long. ‘Cathy?’ she asked.

‘Yes, love?’

‘I know you’ve asked me loads of times before and I’ve always said no, but can I have a kiss and hug goodnight, please?’

My eyes immediately filled. ‘Of course you can, love. Come here.’ She moved closer and I encircled her in my arms, a child in need of protection and reassurance.

We held each other for some time and when she eventually drew back she was smiling. ‘That was a nice hug,’ she said. ‘Just like Mum used to give me when I was little.’

I smiled too. ‘Good, now snuggle down and try to get some sleep.’

She lay down, resting her head comfortably on the pillow, and I drew the duvet up to her chin. She looked up at me, her hair trailing out around her on the pillow. I gently stroked away a strand from her face and then kissed her forehead. ‘Goodnight, love. Sleep well, and I’ll see you in the morning.’

‘Goodnight, Cathy, and thanks for being here for me.’

I kissed her again. ‘You’re welcome, love.’

I came out and then went round the landing, going in and out of the bedrooms, saying goodnight and dispensing hugs and kisses to my other children, including Adrian. As big as he was, he still liked his goodnight hug and kiss, unless he had a friend sleeping over and then I knew not to embarrass him. I went downstairs, locked up, settled Toscha for the night and then had an early night myself. I was in bed by ten o’clock and was asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow.

I slept soundly, waking at 6.15 a.m. with the alarm clock. As usual on a school day I showered and dressed before I woke the children, and did they take some waking! It’s always a wrench for them to get up at the start of a new term, and they needed a lot of cajoling to fall into the school routine. Although I woke them in plenty of time, there wasn’t a minute to spare. Joss and I had to leave the house before they did and my departing shot was: ‘Will you all get a move on, please, or you’ll be late for your first day, and that won’t look good!’ But I trusted them not to be late.