Girl Alone: Joss came home from school to discover her father’s suicide. Angry and hurting, she’s out of control. (9 page)

Ten minutes later the doorbell rang, signalling my parents’ arrival. Joss was still in the sitting room and she didn’t come to the front door to greet them as the rest of us did. But as soon as they were in the living room, saying hello and asking her how she was, she dropped her grumpiness and began to answer them politely. From then on the day went as I’d hoped. It was a pleasant and relaxing family day, with Joss eventually joining in unreservedly. Perhaps she didn’t want to lose face in front of my parents, or perhaps she had simply reflected on what I’d said, but whatever the reason I was pleased. She helped me serve dinner, played badminton in the garden after we’d eaten and when it was time to say goodbye to my parents she came with us to the front door to see them off. Once they’d gone, I told her I was pleased she’d joined in.

‘So am I,’ she said with a small smile.

Amelia was out of the office when I telephoned her on Monday morning, so I left a message with a colleague asking her to telephone me when she returned. She did so later that afternoon.

‘Did you have a nice weekend?’ she began.

‘Mixed,’ I said. ‘We had a nice day yesterday with my parents, but there are a number of matters I need to talk to you about.’

‘Yes?’ she asked, concerned.

‘I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but Joss and her friend Chelsea have been spending a lot of time with two men in their early twenties. I saw Miss Pryce, Joss’s teacher, on Friday and she said that the school had raised concerns, as members of staff have seen Joss and Chelsea getting into a car at lunchtimes with some men. Miss Pryce said the social services had been informed, but the school hadn’t heard anything further.’

‘That’s possible,’ Amelia said a little guardedly.

‘Then on Saturday Joss went to her mother’s in the morning, but instead of coming straight back here she went to Chelsea’s flat. I went to the flat to collect her. Chelsea’s father was upstairs while Chelsea and Joss were downstairs with the same two men, smoking cannabis, drinking alcohol and cuddled up on the sofa and an old mattress. Joss said they’re called Zach and Carl. She said she didn’t know their surnames.’

‘Did you see Chelsea’s father at the flat?’ Amelia asked.

‘No. He stayed up in his bedroom. I was shocked by the state of the flat and that Chelsea was living there.’ I then continued with a description of what I’d seen.

‘The social services are aware of Chelsea,’ Amelia said, ‘although she’s not one of my cases. I’ll tell her social worker what you’ve said and she may want to talk to you.’

‘Thank you. I’m very concerned. Also, Linda telephoned me on Saturday morning,’ I continued. ‘She’s received a final warning letter from the police in respect of an incident a few weeks ago. Joss was found drinking alcohol again in a public place and then she swore at a police officer.’

‘I’ll need a copy of that letter,’ Amelia said, taking it in her stride. ‘I’ve got to phone Linda soon; I’ll ask her for it then.’

‘I’d like to keep Joss at home with me more,’ I said. ‘Her teacher said that Joss is a capable student, but she is very behind with her work. Staying in more would allow her to catch up and also give me a better chance of keeping her safe. Joss calls Zach her boyfriend, but he’s a man and appears to be leading her into bad ways. She’s so vulnerable and I fear she could easily be taken advantage of and exploited.’

‘You can’t keep Joss in all the time,’ Amelia said. ‘Have you spoken to her about contraception?’

I was shocked. ‘No! She’s thirteen. She’s a child. At her age I will be telling her not to have a sexual relationship, not encouraging her.’

‘It’s not encouraging her,’ Amelia said. ‘But it would be more responsible for her to go on the Pill than to have a baby. Can you talk to her about choices, please?’

‘Yes – but she may not have a choice. If she’s plied with drink and drugs she may be coerced or forced into having sex.’ I felt Amelia and I were coming from very different places. ‘I want to keep Joss in more to protect her,’ I said bluntly. ‘Is that all right with you?’

‘What does Joss say?’

‘She obviously wants to go out. It’s fun to her. But at her age she doesn’t necessarily know what is best for her and she can’t see the danger. The schools break up in three weeks’ time for the summer holidays. There’ll be even more opportunity for her to get into trouble if she’s out all day, every day.’

‘Perhaps we could renegotiate the contract of behaviour with Joss,’ Amelia said.

Stuff the contract, I thought but didn’t say. ‘Sundays,’ I said, coming to my next point. ‘My understanding is that Joss is with me all day on Sunday. She seems to think she can go out during the day as long as she is in for the evening.’

‘I can’t remember what we agreed,’ Amelia said. ‘Just a minute, I have Joss’s file here.’ I waited and then Amelia said, ‘It’s not clear. We agreed at the meeting that she’d stay in Sunday and Wednesday evenings, but there is no mention of during the day on Sundays.’

‘So I can assume she’s in with me? She enjoyed the last two Sundays when we’ve all been together.’

There was a small pause before Amelia replied. ‘I think this is something we need to discuss at Joss’s review. She’s due a review and I was going to suggest a week on Wednesday. Four o’clock so Joss can be present.’

‘Joss doesn’t get home from school until four-thirty at the earliest.’

‘We’ll make if four-thirty, then. Can you tell her? I’ll send out invitations to all parties. Is it all right to hold the review at your house?’

This was usual practice when a child was in care under a Section 20.

‘Yes,’ I said. ‘And until the review, I can keep her in more during the week and also next Sunday?’

‘If Joss agrees, yes.’

As I said before, Amelia was pleasant but naïve.

Children in care have regular reviews. The child’s parent(s), teacher, social worker, foster carer, the foster carer’s support social worker and any other adults closely connected with the child meet to ensure that everything is being done to help the child, and that the care plan (drawn up by the social services) is up to date. The reviews are chaired by an independent reviewing officer (IRO), who also minutes the meeting. Very young children don’t usually attend their reviews, but older children are expected to, as it is about them.

I made a note of the date of Joss’s review in my diary, and when Joss came home from school, just before five o’clock, I told her.

‘Not another review!’ she exclaimed. ‘What a waste of effing time. Nothing ever happens and no one listens to me.’ Which I knew to be the view of many teenagers in care.

It was Monday, so Joss was expecting to go out in the evening, and given that she’d spent all of Sunday at home I didn’t feel I could protest. Parenting a teenager with challenging behaviour often requires give and take, and of course at present the contract of behaviour stipulated that Joss could go out, although I wondered how many other thirteen-year-olds were out on the streets in the evening. Certainly none I knew.

I asked Joss where she was planning to go and she shrugged.

‘To the park, maybe.’

‘Not to Chelsea’s?’ I asked.

‘Nah.’

Clearly I didn’t know if she was telling me the truth, but because Joss knew going out relied on her doing an hour’s homework first, she immediately took her school bag to the dining table and worked while I made dinner. I felt this part of Joss’s routine was going well, and as usual I praised her and asked if she needed any help, which she didn’t. As soon as the hour was up, she packed away her books.

‘Have you finished your homework?’ I asked.

‘I’ve done the hour,’ Joss said, which wasn’t the same thing, but I left it at that. She’d done an hour and I knew that, with only three weeks before the end of term and the academic year, the schools were reducing homework – Adrian, Lucy and Paula had less. ‘Miss says I’m doing well,’ Joss added.

‘Excellent. Good girl. You’ve earned back the pocket money you lost for swearing.’

‘Wow,’ Joss exclaimed a little sarcastically. But I could see she was pleased. It was part of Joss’s armour to reject praise and compliments as though she didn’t care: a defence mechanism to stop others getting close to her, in the belief that this would protect her from being hurt again.

Joss went out as soon as we’d finished dinner, but to my surprise she returned at 9.20 p.m., ten minutes early.

‘Are you all right?’ I asked, fearing she might be ill or that something bad had happened to her.

‘Zach said I should get back on time and do as I’m told more.’ Which stopped me in my tracks. I was amazed, although I wasn’t about to revise my opinion of Zach yet, for Joss had come in sucking a mint.

‘Did he give you alcohol?’ I asked.

‘Only a little cider. But we didn’t go to Chelsea’s flat,’ she added, as though this made it all right.

‘How much is a little?’ I asked.

‘One small bottle.’

‘Joss, we need to talk,’ I said. I closed the front door.

‘I’m not drunk!’ she exclaimed. ‘Not on one small bottle. And you’ve already told me how bad alcohol is for me so let’s skip the lecture. I’m tired, I need to go to bed.’

‘It’s not about alcohol,’ I said. ‘Although you shouldn’t be drinking at all. Your social worker has asked me to have a chat with you about sex and relationships.’

Joss groaned and pulled a face. ‘Must we? I’m not doing it, if that’s what you think.’

‘I don’t, and I’m pleased to hear it, but I want to have that chat with you anyway. It’s not late and it won’t take too long.’

Joss groaned again but came with me into the living room where we sat in the easy chairs. During the evening I’d given much thought to what I wanted to say, so I had my words ready.

‘Joss, I’m going to speak to you frankly and honestly. Please listen to what I have to say, as it is important. Stop me if you have any questions or comments. All right?’

She gave a small nod but looked down at her hands in her lap.

‘Sometimes us girls have to make difficult decisions in respect of boys – or, as in Zach’s case, young men. They may want a physical relationship before we are ready or old enough. I was a teenager once and I can remember the conflicting emotions I felt. Attitudes have changed since then, but I think it is still true today that sex is much better in a loving and committed relationship. This is what I’ve told Adrian, Lucy and Paula and all the teenagers I’ve fostered. But I know girls can feel pressurized into agreeing to have sex and then later regret it. They might not like to say no, because they want to please the boy and keep him as their boyfriend. Any boy or man who says they will leave a girl if they don’t have sex with them isn’t worth hanging onto. I’ve even heard of boys telling girls that if they don’t have sex and ejaculate regularly it makes them ill.’

Joss smiled, or rather smirked, but didn’t look up.

‘That’s nonsense, of course,’ I said. ‘And in this country, as in many others, it is illegal for an adult to have sex with a young person – under the age of sixteen. There is a good reason for this, Joss. It’s because the law recognizes that young people don’t have the maturity to deal with a sexual relationship and can be easily taken advantage of. The law protects them, as I am trying to protect you. Although a girl always has the right to say no, I am concerned that by drinking alcohol and smoking cannabis you are putting yourself in a position where you could agree to something you later regret, or be coerced or forced into it.’

‘Zach’s not like that,’ Joss protested, finally looking up. ‘He respects me. He wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want to. I know him. We’re going to wait.’

‘Good, but Amelia has asked me to talk to you about contraception. Contraception is free and the service is confidential. You can go to the doctors or the family planning clinic if you need to. Do you know where they are?’

‘Yes, but I don’t need them. I’m not doing anything.’

I looked at her carefully. ‘Joss, when I collected you from Chelsea’s flat on Saturday you were on the sofa with Zach and your clothes were all ruffled.’

‘Yeah, but we were only kissing and cuddling,’ she said. ‘Honestly. Tell Amelia I don’t need contraception. I’m not like that, and Zach isn’t either.’

‘I’ll tell her,’ I said. ‘Does Zach know how old you are?’

‘Yes, and he said he’s happy to wait until I’m older. He’s not what you and Amelia think. He’s polite and thoughtful. He’s interested in me as a person, not my body. He treats me like an adult and listens to what I have to say. He’s so kind and sympathetic about what happened to me when I was little, about my dad. He cares about me and looks out for me. He brings me home in his car to keep me safe. He loves me, Cathy, and we’re going to get married as soon as I’m old enough.’ Joss stopped. Her eyes glistened with passion and adoration for Zach.

‘Why doesn’t he have a girlfriend his own age?’ I asked.

‘He doesn’t like them. He says most of them are self-opinionated tarts. He likes me because I’m fresh and innocent.’

Which did nothing to lessen my concerns.

‘How did you meet him?’

‘At Chelsea’s flat. I told you, he’s one of her uncles. She has lots of uncles, of all ages.’

‘On her father’s side of the family or her mother’s?’

‘I don’t know,’ Joss said with a shrug. ‘But Zack is a real gentleman. He looks after me, not like that creep Eric.’

I could see that, having lost her own father so young and in such tragic circumstances and then not getting on with her stepfather, Joss could be attracted to a father figure in a partner, but from what I’d seen of Zach he certainly wasn’t that.

‘Does Zach work?’ I asked.

She nodded. ‘Sort of. He’s in business. He’s doing well. He always pays for everything.’

Including drink and drugs, I thought but didn’t say. ‘What sort of business? Do you know?’

‘No. Zach doesn’t like talking about work or himself when he’s with me. He says he’d rather talk about me. I’m more interesting.’ She smiled. ‘He’s not like the boys at school, Cathy. They’re so immature and silly. All they can talk about is themselves and football. Zach is very mature and not at all silly. He’s responsible.’

I think at thirteen and in Joss’s position I might have fallen for Zach’s charm too, but with maturity and the insight that came from fostering, I wasn’t swayed by what Joss had told me. Indeed, I was more concerned than ever. I was pleased that Joss had opened up, but from what she’d said it sounded to me like sweet-talking Zach was slowly, carefully and very cleverly grooming her. However, I knew that any more warnings or negativity from me would drive Joss further into his ‘understanding’ arms. It was back to the same old problem: if Joss had been my daughter I would have done whatever it took to keep her safe and away from Zach, but as a foster carer I was very limited in what I could do.

‘Joss, rather than you keep going to Chelsea’s flat, why not bring Zach here?’ I suggested.

She laughed out loud.