Spiraling (5 page)

I kept my head down as I walked through the open door into the small classroom used for detention. The back was reserved for repeat offenders, so I sat in one of the front seats and put my bag on the floor. I could hear the girls behind me cracking jokes at my expense, but I kept my eyes forward. The day before I’d made the mistake of eavesdropping on their conversation after I’d heard Devon’s name. When one of them spotted me, she told me to mind my own business and not-so-politely informed me of the unofficial seating chart.

As I leaned over to get my algebra book out of my bag, I saw the desk next to me move. My first thought was that one of the girls had decided taunting me wasn’t enough. I was terrified. They weren’t big girls, but they were a lot tougher than I’d ever dreamed of being. I knew I wouldn’t fare well in a fight against any one of them.

Cautiously looking up, I was relieved to see the chair-mover wasn’t one of the girls. It was Devon. He sat down and flashed a smile.

“Hey,” he said. “What are you doing here?”

“I got detention for being late yesterday,” I replied.

“Sorry about that.”             

“It wasn’t your fault. I could have just gone to class instead of talking to you.”

“Or ditched it altogether.”

“Is that what you did?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Yeah. Looks like that worked out really well for you.” I laughed, gesturing to the room we were in.

He raised his left eyebrow and smirked. “I blew off a test
and
I get to spend forty-five minutes with you. Seems like it worked out pretty well to me.”

I bit the side of my lower lip and blushed.

“You do that a lot, don’t you?” he asked.

I released my lip. “Yeah. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s cute.”

My heart turned somersaults.
Oh, my God! He thinks I’m cute!

From the way Chad treated me, I’d started to think I wasn’t pretty or cute or anything boys liked. I wasn’t tall or super-thin like Camber Flotsam or Miranda Schutt, the two girls all the guys agreed were sexy. I didn’t even have their perfect hair. Instead, I was short, still had what my mom called ‘baby fat’ around my midsection, and my hair did whatever it pleased most of the time. But Devon wasn’t talking to Camber or Miranda and he hadn’t even acknowledged the stoner girls in the back; he purposefully sat next to me even though there were at least a dozen other empty chairs in the room. My ego got a huge boost.

I leaned over, resting my elbow on the side of my desk. “Do you mind if I ask you something?”

“Sure.” He nodded. “What do you want to know?”

“My cousin, Joy, said something the other day and I was just wondering if it was true.”

“Ok.”

“Well…” I forced a nervous smile. The
idea
of asking the question was much easier than actually asking it. “It’s just… Well, she said she heard that…that you’re on probation for stealing a car or something. I told her it was probably just a stupid rumor, but you know how people are. She didn’t believe me. So, anyway, I thought I’d ask you.
Are
you on probation?”

“Yeah.” He nodded.

Not the answer I expected. “Seriously?”

“Uh-huh. I got busted a little over a month ago for possession.”

I shifted my weight in my desk. His confession made me uncomfortable, but I didn’t want to look like a total loser, so I pretended that it didn’t bother me. “That’s cool.”

“No, it’s not.” He laughed. “It sucks ass.”

“Hey!” Mr. Milton shouted from the desk at the front of the room. “Watch the language, Sharpe, or you’ll be seeing me again tomorrow.”

“Yes, sir,” Devon said with a mischievous grin.

I covered my mouth to stifle a giggle, but Mr. Milton heard me anyway. He shot me a warning glare and I looked down at my desk, pretending to read the algebra book in front of me. As soon as he looked away, I turned back to Devon.

“Your last name is Sharpe?” I asked.

He nodded.

“Devon Sharpe.” I contemplated how it sounded. “What’s your middle name?”

“Uh-uh.” He shook his head and smiled.

“Please.” I bat my blue-green eyes at him. “I’ll tell you mine.”

He looked at me, squinting slightly before he leaned across the aisle. His breath on my neck was warm and smelled like cinnamon.
Oh, my god! Oh, my god! Oh, my god!
I struggled to keep my composure. My heartbeat thundered in my ears and I wondered if he could hear it, too.

His lips brushed my ear as he whispered, “Not telling,” causing goosebumps to erupt on my arms. Then he settled back in his chair with a grin.

“Not fair.” I pouted.

He only chuckled in response. It was as if he delighted in toying with me, but to be honest, I enjoyed every minute of it. For the duration of detention, we continued our banter. It was nice to get attention from a boy. Aside from parading me around at social events, Chad was more interested in hanging out with his friend, Andy, than he was in spending time with me. Devon treated me like I was the only other person in the room. For forty-five minutes, I was the center of somebody’s world and it was the coolest thing ever.

As I walked home, I looked forward to the next day. I couldn’t wait to see Devon again. It concerned me that he was on probation, but he hadn’t hurt anyone or broken any major laws so I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. For hours, I pondered whether or not I should break up with Chad. My friends wouldn’t like it, but if I did, I’d be free to go out with Devon. He obviously liked me. At least, I
thought
he did.

When I got to school the next morning, I discovered my mistake. Devon was in the commons area with his friends and there was a dark-haired girl attached to his arm. I stared at him in disbelief. It felt like I’d been punched in the stomach. He hadn’t mentioned anything about having a girlfriend, but it was clear from the way the dark-haired girl acted that they were more than just friends. The sight of the two of them together hurt. As I continued to my locker, I struggled against tears. It wasn’t fair.

“It really sucks that you can’t go this weekend,” Kennedy said as I dug my books out of my backpack.

“Yeah.” I sighed, barely paying attention to her.

“We should do something next weekend. Jason’s been talking about this movie coming out. Maybe you could talk to Chad and we could do like a double-date or something. That’d be fun.”

“Maybe.”

“Come on, Tori. I don’t know what’s wrong with you lately, but we need to do something to get you out of this funk.”

“I’m not in a funk,” I said. “I’ve just had a lot on my mind.”

“Like what?”

“Just a lot of stuff. It doesn’t matter.”

When Devon walked up to his locker, I pretended not to notice. I didn’t want to think about how ridiculous I’d been. It was foolish for me to assume there was something going on between us. One conversation didn’t make us soulmates.

“Well, will you at least talk to Chad about it?” Kennedy asked.

“Sure,” I agreed with as much enthusiasm as I could manage.

At lunch, I made a mediocre effort to convince my boyfriend to go along with Kennedy’s proposal, but he said he already had plans with one of his friends. He wasn’t specific about what they were and I didn’t care enough to ask. It didn’t matter to me what he did.

When I told Kennedy, she acted like it was my fault he didn’t want to go. She told all of her new friends that I purposefully tried to sabotage her chances with Jason because I was jealous of her rising popularity. I spent half the day defending myself against unwarranted accusations. By the time the final bell rang, I was more than ready to be done with school for a few days.

“Can you believe Kennedy?” I asked Joy as we gathered our books after school.

“Not getting involved,” she answered.

“I didn’t do anything to her.”

“Like I said, not getting involved.”

“I am
not
jealous of her.”

Joy exhaled and turned to face me. “I don’t know how many times I can say this. I am
not
getting involved. This is between you and her. It’s none of my business. I don’t want it to be my business. Every time I let you draw me in when you two are fighting, I wind up being the bad guy. Not this time. I’m staying out of it.”

“Thanks a lot, Joy,” I grumbled.

“I’m sorry, Tori. You’re going to have to work it out with her.” She put her bag over her shoulder and closed her locker. “I’ll see you later. I’m going to the mall with some of the girls from the math club.”

Turning back to my locker, I sighed. For a second, I thought about locking myself inside and escaping my life for a while. I didn’t want to be at school, but being at home was even worse. All I wanted to do was find somewhere to hide from the rest of the world. Tears welled in my eyes as I stared at my pink backpack, wondering if anyone would really miss me if I went home, filled it with some clothes, and left.

“Math club?” a voice asked beside me.

My heart jumped into my throat. After Joy left, I hadn’t looked to see if anyone else was still in the hall. Wiping my face to erase any evidence of my emotional instability, I turned to see Devon. He leaned against his locker with a mischievous smirk twisting the corner of his mouth. I stared at him for a second. Then I looked away. I wasn’t in the mood for his playful banter. He’d already made me feel enough like a fool.

“You don’t really seem like the type to hang out with a girl in math club,” he said.

“Really? What type
do
I seem like?” I asked.

“I’m leaning toward cheerleader.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m
not
a cheerleader.”

“That’s a shame. You’d look hot in one of those short skirts.”

“If that’s supposed to be a compliment, don’t bother.” I took my bag out of my locker and slammed the door.

He furrowed his brow. “Are you pissed at me for something?”

I turned to face him. I was about to tell him off for everything bad that had happened all day. Then I stopped. None of that stuff was his fault. He didn’t deserve the way I treated him. I was upset that he had a girlfriend, but that was my own stupidity. I’d never considered that if I liked him there was probably someone else that did as well.

I took a deep breath and shook my head. “I’m not mad at you. I’ve just had a really bad day. I shouldn’t be taking it out on you. I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right,” he said. “Anything I can do?”

“I don’t think so. I think I’m just going to walk home or maybe find a rock to hide under or something.”

“Do you want some company? For the walk, not the hiding.”

“Sure.” I nodded.

I put my bag over my shoulder and we started down the hall. I didn’t feel like talking as we strolled across the parking lot. There was too much on my mind.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah.” I nodded. “Just thinking.”

“About anything in particular?”

“Not really.” I shook my head. “You?”

“Nope.”

“So, have you been making a lot of friends?” A change of subject seemed like a good idea.

“I guess. I’ve been hanging out with a couple guys. Jake and Carter.”

“I know them. Well, not personally. I’ve seen them around. Carter’s in my biology class and Jake used to be friends with my brother. I don’t know if he still is, or not.”

“Who’s your brother?”

“Chris Douglas.”

He looked at me. “Chris is your brother?”

“Unfortunately.” I sighed.

“I don’t know why I didn’t put that together.” He chuckled.

“It’s not something I like to advertise.”

“Why? He seems like a decent guy.”

“Try living with him. He’s a big jerk. I don’t have my license yet, so I have to beg him to take me anywhere. He thinks he’s
so
great because he has a car.”

“When do you get your license?” Devon asked.

“Next summer,” I answered. “My birthday’s in June.”

“So, you’re what? Fifteen?”

“Yeah. How old are you?”

“Seventeen.”

“When’s your birthday?”

“Last week.”

“Really?” I smiled.

“Uh-huh.” He nodded.

“Did you do anything?”

“Not so much.” He shook his head. “It’s just another day.”

“No, it’s not. Birthdays are special. It’s like you get a day that’s all about you.”

“Sure.” He sighed.

I got the feeling he didn’t want to talk about his birthday anymore. We walked to the end of my driveway and stopped. I wondered what I’d said to upset him. Lately, I seemed to be saying the wrong thing nearly every time I opened my mouth. It wasn’t so bad with my friends since they didn’t listen anyway, but with Devon it was different. I didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize our new friendship.