The Blue Horse (4 page)

A heavy, gloomy silence fell on the campsite. Not one of the families would want to change places with Kathleen Connors and her brood. And they had brought bad luck to this place.

Auntie Brigid tried to be cheerful. ‘A good strong cup of tea with plenty of sugar,’ she announced.

Mam seemed to be in a trance. Auntie Brigid was fussing around them like a mother hen, trying to lead them towards her trailer. The rest of the travellers began to disperse back to their own vans. All had offered to help if they could.

It was agreed that Katie and Hannah and Mam and Davey would go to Auntie Brigid’s trailer for the night.

Katie looked down at herself. A green sweatshirt with a cat on it and a T-shirt, her denim skirt and her two soaked shoes, that and her underwear were all she had in the world now. Just what she stood up in. She hadn’t even a brush for her hair. The enormity of what had happened began to hit her.

‘Come on, Kathleen, sit down, you poor thing, you’re all done in. Girls, grab a place there beside your mother.’ Auntie Brigid was trying to see if there was any water left in the place to make a cup of tea.

‘Mam! Mammy! What will Da say when he sees the place?’ asked Hannah.

Kathleen Connors did not reply. She just stared at the sugar bowl on the table as if it was a crystal ball and would show her what to do.

Katie knew that when her father appeared and saw the burnt-out caravan he would go crazy. This was the third trailer they’d had in the last few years. One was too small and another had rotted to bits after a very hard winter in a field that was as bad as a swamp. All winter long the rats had gnawed at the wood until you could hardly put a foot to the floor for fear you’d go through it. Saucepans caught the rain dropping from the leaking roof. Their last penny had gone to get this one … Katie stopped herself. It was gone now – gone. Out of the blue her mother suddenly began to talk, talk, talk – non-stop.

‘Everything is gone … we’re destroyed. We’ve nothing left, not a brass farthing … we’re ruined.’

‘Hush, Kathleen, Kathleen.’

No matter what their aunt said Mam kept on talking. She began to list off everything that was gone, every piece of furniture, of ware, cooking stuff, clothes, family mementoes, getting more and more hysterical as she went on. ‘And my wooden horse, the one my Granddaddy made – maybe it survived. You remember how long I have it, Brigid.’

Katie didn’t have the heart to say she knew it was gone too, but was glad of the excuse to get
away for a minute or two from the singsong voice, so strange and remote.

‘Will I have a look for it, Mam?’ Barely waiting for the reply she was outside.

The wooden pole had broken in three and lay blackened on the ground. The horse was definitely gone. Pools of water lay all around. Her cousins, the Faheys, were combing the debris to see if they could salvage anything. She hadn’t the heart to join them. She spotted something vaguely familiar in one of the pools.

The horse! Quick as a wink Katie bent down. The wood had expanded and felt warm and all the paint had blistered off it – but if you knew it was meant to be a horse you might just recognise it.

‘Oh horse, poor old horse.’ She lifted it up and carried it into the other trailer to her mother.

‘What’s that bit of old wood you’ve got there?’ demanded Auntie Brigid.

Her mother took it; she was left wordless now and her tears began to fall. The horse lay blackened and destroyed in front of her.

‘Let her cry, girls, she needs to cry and get it out. I’ll see to Davey. You sit there with your Mam.’

Hannah was scared and Katie had to admit that she was too. Mam just held their hands and cried and cried.

Before going to bed Tom and the twins came in to Mam and hugged her then left again quickly.
A time like this and they couldn’t even stay together as a family, thought Katie sadly. Where was Da?

Mam was exhausted and dozed off at last, with Hannah leaning against her. Uncle Mike kept coming in and out. He had been up to the town twice looking for his brother-in-law. All the cousins had been well warned to be good, and with the odd smack as a reminder, had gone to bed quietly. Everyone was waiting for Ned Connors to return. Finally the silence of the night was broken by the sound of a car as it bumped over the grass and came to a halt. Its lights lit up the spot where their trailer had once stood.

Katie heard an outburst of cursing outside, then the car door banged. In an instant her father was at the trailer door.

‘God in heaven, Brigid! Where’s Kathleen? Where’s my kids?’ he roared.

From her sleeping bag on the floor, Katie could see the telltale redness of his cheeks and smell the mixture of whiskey and cigarettes that explained his absence. Uncle Mike was talking to him and putting on the lights.

‘Where’s my wife? Is she all right?’

Mam stirred and rubbed her eyes, easing Hannah off her lap. Dad ran over and hugged her.

‘Oh Kathleen, girl, thank God you’re all right.’

‘’Tis all right, Ned. We’ve lost everything, but
the family are all safe. Hannah and Katie and Davey are here and the boys are next door.’

‘I’m fine, Da,’ Katie murmured. He stepped over the others on the floor and hugged her too.

‘God is good,’ was all he said.

Relieved that her father was back, Katie at last felt that maybe it was safe to sleep.

He sat down beside Mam and she started to tell him the whole story of the fire over and over again.

Over and over again.

Over and over again it ran in Katie’s mind too as she tried to sleep.

You couldn’t swing a cat in the place. Auntie Brigid and Uncle Mike were doing their best to pass around bowls of porridge, but having five extra people in a trailer was just too much. The floor was covered with sleeping bags and blankets.

In the morning light Katie was ashamed of how dishevelled they looked. Maggie lent her a brush and a clean sweatshirt and pair of panties, but no one had her size shoes. Bridey and Hannah were much the same size and able to share clothes, and Tom and the twins had plenty of people to borrow from. One of the neighbours sent over a bag of things for Davey.

Once the curtains were opened it was very clear that everything they had had was gone. A cold hand of fear gripped Katie. Never in her life could she remember a time when things had been this bad. Mam had aged about ten years overnight. Da had a haunted look about him. The small box with their meagre savings had been discovered, but it had melted and the few notes inside it had curled away. Da paced up and down outside, kicking over bits of charred timber. They only had the old banger of a car left now. The twins appeared out of a caravan, along with Tom. They walked around the place, like three
shadows following their father.

It was about eleven o’clock when a small car appeared. The woman driver drove right into the middle of the campsite and got out. In one hand she clutched a briefcase. She looked around quickly, then came and knocked at Brigid’s door.

Auntie Brigid opened it. She obviously knew the woman and invited her in.

‘Miss O’Gorman, this is my sister, Kathleen. Kathleen Connors. It’s probably herself you’ve come to see today.’

‘Yes, Brigid. I heard you and your family are fine at the moment. Let me introduce myself, Mrs Connors. I’m Annette O’Gorman. I’m a social worker for this area. I was informed last night of your predicament and I came straight away to see what we can do to help.’

Mam shook her hand. Katie could see she was still in a kind of trance. ‘Mam! Mam! It’s Miss O’Gorman, she’s here to help us.’

‘I heard, Katie.’ Mam’s voice was distant.

Auntie Brigid was embarrassed. ‘Look, Miss O’Gorman, I’ll leave you alone here for a while as I have to get to the shops.’

Katie coaxed Hannah and Davey outside. She just sat on the step as she hadn’t one ounce of energy today to do anything. The social worker spoke gently to Mam, treating her like a child. She could see Mam was still dazed.

‘Where are you going to live? You need
somewhere to stay. Children need a roof over their heads.’

Mam nodded mutely. The social worker opened her case and spread her papers out on the table. ‘We’ll do our best to help you. First off, tell me the names and ages of your children.’

Mam reeled them off mechanically: Tom, Kathleen, Paddy, Brian, Hannah and baby David,’ and the years they were born.

‘What about any extra income coming in?’

Mam shook her head.

‘Any savings, bank account, building societies?’

‘Just a bit in a box, but it’s gone now.’ A sob escaped from Mam’s throat. She sounded like she was going to break down crying.

‘Take it easy, Mrs Connors – Kathleen – I’m here to help you. That’s my job. Will you get another trailer or caravan?’ Miss O’Gorman sounded calm and concerned.

‘We haven’t the money for one.’

‘Would you think of settling?’

‘We’re travellers born and bred, it’s our whole life,’ Mam announced stubbornly. ‘It would be very hard for us to settle.’

A heavy silence filled the air. Katie sat rigid with curiosity. She put her hands lightly over Davey’s mouth to stop him gabbling so that she could hear.

‘But you might have to settle, Kathleen.’ The social worker said the words softly.

‘How could we settle?’ Mam whispered.

‘It’s very difficult to keep travelling forever and it’s a hard and lonely road. Think of your children, their education, the chance of a job. Autumn and winter will soon be here. A roof over your heads is vital. I’m offering you a house for your family, Kathleen.’

‘There’s more to life than school and houses,’ Mam protested.

Katie listened as the argument went back and forth. Her mother was wearing down. She had sent Hannah off to find Da and bring him here.

‘Kathleen, it’s a nice house, and other travellers have settled in the estate. It’s near a school and shops, but I’ll have to have a decision very soon. You’ve gone to the top of the list because of the emergency of your situation, having no home, but I can’t hold this house forever for you, no more than a day or two.’

Katie watched as her father strode towards the trailer. He almost fell over her in his rush to get inside where he sat down beside Mam. His large hands ruffled his hair – he always did that when he was nervous.

‘Ah Mr Connors, it’s nice to meet you.’ Miss O’Gorman held out her hand to greet him.

In a low voice Mam began to tell him of their conversation and about the offer. Miss O’Gorman butted in, telling him about the estate and one by one listing all the advantages of settling.

‘I’m a travelling man.’

‘Oh I know that, Mr Connors,’ Miss O’Gorman agreed, ‘but you’re also a man with a wife and family, a husband and a father,’ she added firmly.

‘I’m a travelling man. I’ll not live in any house! If you government people want to help, give us a new caravan, that’s all the help we need. We’ll get back on our feet then and back on the road.’

‘My department gives people homes not caravans, Mr Connors.’ Miss O’Gorman pleaded her case as best she could.

Then suddenly, when Katie least expected it, Mam’s voice: ‘I’ve done with it, done with travelling, I want a proper roof over my head and four solid walls. The children to be safe and get a bit of an education. It’s time to stop, Ned!’

Her father was stunned, then furious. ‘No woman or children will tie me down. I’ll not live in a house like settled people!’

‘Well, I’m fed up with being different. I just want to be like the rest of them, I’ve had enough of it all. Miss O’Gorman, fill in those forms please and like a good girl do your best to get us a place in that housing estate.’

Ned Connors jumped to his feet and stormed out the door. Katie had never seen him in such a temper or so tense and angry. He went off and stood at the edge of the field, his back to them all. Katie looked at his broad, straight shoulders. He was a strong man, well respected and liked by all
the travellers. She longed to run and fling her arms around him and say, Da, I love you, but her instincts told her this was a time he needed to be left alone. For all his kindness he was as stubborn as an old donkey and often there was no getting around him.

Mam and the social worker chatted away and finally came out to say goodbye. Mam’s eyes flew towards the desolate, solitary figure.

‘Mrs Connors, I’ll send someone down later with some essentials for you and don’t forget the vouchers I’ve given you.’

‘Thank you, Miss, I’m very grateful for all your help. I’m sorry about himself shouting at you.’

‘Don’t mention it. You’ve all been through a huge shock, it’s only to be expected.’

As soon as the car started up, a band of children ran along behind it, waving. Katie went over to her mother, who looked pale and tired.

‘I heard you, Mam. Is it true we’re really going to settle?’

Her mother nodded. She looked crushed.

‘In a house?’

‘Yes, lovey, if we keep our fingers crossed and are lucky.’

‘Not a trailer or a van?’

‘No! A proper house, with a bit of a garden to hang out washing, a bathroom and a toilet and three bedrooms and a fine big sitting-room with a kitchen behind it. There’ll be shops and schools and all kind of things close by …’ Mam looked
straight at Katie, searching her face and eyes for a reaction.

‘Da’ll never stand for it. He loves the road, he’ll never settle,’ Katie cried, unable to hide the fear and unease in her voice.

‘Well, Katie, I’ve had enough. We haven’t a thing to our name now. The fire has done its worst and the fight has gone out of me. I’m not getting any younger. It’s time I settled – that we all did. Wherever we are, your Da will always have a place, the door will be open for him.’

The door open for him! What the hell did that mean? Was Mam saying that Da might not go with them? They’d be on their own – she couldn’t mean it. To leave the life they knew was bad enough, but the thought of Da not being there too … a shiver ran through her.

‘Are you okay, pet?’ Mam looked at her.

‘Yeah.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes, Mam, don’t be worrying.’

‘Don’t say anything to the others yet. There’s nothing definite until we find out if we get the house. No point in upsetting them until we hear from Miss O’Gorman.’

Katie nodded and gave a sigh of relief. Maybe it wouldn’t happen at all. Da might get the money for a trailer somewhere and things would be the same as always. Nothing was certain yet!