The Cowboy Soldier (13 page)

When they reached the house, Sierra told Rafe that little had changed. “Doug’s working a lot of overtime,” Sierra said, “so he hasn’t done much on the addition.”

All four kids raced outside to play. “Rafe, I put your duffel in the hall closet where it was before. I’ll make the sofa bed up after supper.” He could sense her hesitation. “Rafe, I take full responsibility for sending you to Dr. Robinson. I am so, so sorry.”

Rafe slashed out a hand, putting an end to Sierra’s words. “I don’t know what happened in Houston with Alexa’s practice, but I’m damned sure it wasn’t her fault.”

“Then…I don’t get it, Rafe.” Sierra sounded confused. “Don’t you want to be here? But…we’re your family, Rafe.”

He buried his balled fists in his front pockets. “The day after I got there, Alexa made me pick up a chair I knocked over. She taught me to count steps so I could get around inside and out without bumping into stuff. I rode a horse by myself, and I helped train one. I told you—after one acupuncture treatment I can see shadows. I just don’t believe she killed anyone by being negligent. She’s a pro, and I’ve never met a more compassionate woman.”

“Ah.” Sierra hooked her arm through Rafe’s and steered him to the kitchen. “I think I’m beginning to clue in here. So just when did you fall in love with Dr. Robinson, Rafe?”

His sister’s blunt statement poleaxed Rafe. He stuttered and stammered, but couldn’t come up with a word to say.

Sierra dragged him into the kitchen. “Sit here, and I’ll put on a pot of coffee. Then we’ll have a real heart-to-heart.”

Rafe had learned as a kid it was futile to argue with his sister. Sierra had the tenacity of a mongoose.

When the coffee finished dripping and she’d poured each of them a cup, she took her usual seat opposite Rafe. Reaching across the table, she directed his hand to his mug. “Okay, give it up. I’d ask if Alexa took advantage of you, but everything you said a minute ago tells me that’s wrong thinking.”

“It was the opposite.” Rafe blew on his coffee. “I was the one who tried to make a move on Alexa, but she threw up the doctor-patient roadblock. I’m pretty sure she didn’t want to object—that it was only on principle. I think we’d be good together, Sierra. Alexa gave me confidence to want to live again.”

“Are you sure she was interested that way, Rafe? Maybe she just considers herself your doctor? I figured she’d be the one to hit on you. I mean, losing your sight hasn’t made you less a man than you were when you won bronc riding championships. You’re a handsome guy, Rafe, and you’ve got a great heart. I won’t stand for her or anyone else rejecting you or hurting you.”

Rafe grinned. “You’re too protective of me, Sierra.” Rafe took a swig of his beverage.

“You’re the only little brother I have. I’ll always fight for what’s best for you.”

“I’m not so little anymore,” Rafe said gently. “You don’t have to fight my battles.”

“But…but she might break your heart.”

“Or I might break hers. You know, I don’t even know what Alexa looks like. Not that it matters to me.”

“She’s pretty. Blonde. Her hair is shoulder length. I remember thinking she has the bluest eyes of anyone I’ve ever met. She’s taller than me. Almost as tall as you. A lot skinnier than me, too,” Sierra concluded ruefully.

Recalling earlier conversations he’d had with Alexa, Rafe suddenly asked, “If you compared her to a movie star, who would it be?”

“Oh, gosh.” Sierra paused a minute. “I’d say Cameron Diaz off the top of my head.” Reaching out, she poked Rafe in acknowledgment of the slow smile spreading across his face. “Okay, so now you know your doctor is a babe, how do you propose to get back into her life? She didn’t exactly stop you from leaving—almost shoved you out the door.”

“That’s the problem, Sierra…I can’t go back there as Alexa’s patient. But it just occurred to me…maybe I could convince her to take me back as a ranch hand. Do you think Doug can drive me back there tomorrow?”

“He’s down south on patrol for a few days. How about next week? That’s if you still feel the same then. Rafe…I think we should find out more about that Bobby Duval guy. I bet I can use the church computer.”

“No,” Rafe said emphatically. “If Alexa wants to tell me, fine. Otherwise we’ll leave it be. Lord knows I’m not guilt-free.”

“You didn’t kill anyone.”

He wrapped both hands tightly around his cup.

His sister’s voice was low but determined. “War is different, Rafe.”

“I said leave it, Sierra.” She didn’t have a chance to reply because at that moment he snapped the handle off his cup.

Turning up nothing of interest, Alexa clicked through a few military medical sites and found an article posted by the navy about a study that Rafe might qualify for. The lights flickered and she hurriedly shut down her computer. The truth was, Rafe was no longer her patient. He was back under the VA’s care. If his doctors thought it beneficial, they’d see he got considered for the study. It was time for her to step back.

She ran out of the barn, Compadre at her heels. It was a letdown to see a white pickup with a forestry insignia on the driver’s door.

Alexa steeled herself for another run-in with Paul Goodman. But the man who climbed out of the pickup was Carl Dobbins, the ranger who had brought her the mountain cats.

He hailed her and they met on the path. “Howdy, Alexa. I finally found a home for the cats with a reputable zoo. Had to cut through red tape. How are the little buggers?”

“They’ve grown. I wondered if you planned to return them to the wild. I’ve tried not to get cozy with them, but it was hard. They were so cuddly.”

“I didn’t think they’d survive a winter in the high country being hand-fed.”

“I agree. You can go on into the wild-animal barn. I’ll shut my dog up until you load the cats.”

He nodded and continued on to the smaller barn.

“Sorry, Compadre. Carl doesn’t need you barking and stirring up the cats.”

The dog always acted as if he was being punished whenever she closed him in the barn and left him. Alexa suspected he’d been mistreated in the past. Because of that she took the time to scratch his ears and pet him. “I’ll only be gone a minute,” she promised.

“You’re not kidding these guys have grown,” Dobbins said as Alexa joined him at the cages. He hefted one, and Alexa picked up the other. “Can you manage that alone?” he asked.

“I load and unload hay bales that weigh more than this, Carl.”

They headed outside together. As he put his cage in the back of his pickup, Carl said, “I heard a rumor you’d hired an ex-soldier to help out. Somebody said he was disabled. Blind. But you know how rumors get out of hand.”

Alexa stiffened. “I didn’t hire him. His sister hoped alternative medical treatments might restore his sight. He helped me train horses while he was here, and really had a knack. Probably because he used to be on the rodeo circuit before he was a soldier. A grand national bronc riding champion, in fact.”

“You don’t mean Rafe Eaglefeather?”

“Yes. Do you know him?”

“Know of him. Saw him ride a number of times. I recall reading in the Lajitas newspaper that he’d joined the army. A group of rodeo cowboys did. I’m sorry as hell to hear Eaglefeather came home wounded. Any chance he’ll ever see again?”

“I don’t know, Carl. That will be up to VA doctors.”

“From all the stories I’ve read about our returning heroes, too many are falling through the cracks. If you see him again, tell him an old rodeo fan wishes him well.”

Because Alexa found it hard to swallow, she just nodded.

Carl closed and latched his tailgate. “I’d better hit the road with these guys. It’s a long drive to Houston.”

Alexa watched the dual-wheeled pickup turn around. She remained standing in the same spot until it disappeared from sight.

She didn’t want Rafe falling through any cracks. A fear that he would not return to the VA stole over her.

What if he never heard about the new study being done in San Antonio? If there was one chance in a million of Rafe seeing again, Alexa wanted that chance for him. She cared, dammit!

She walked back to the horse barn. “Come on, Compadre,” she said, letting the dog out. “You and I are going to find the Martinez house. I have to make sure Rafe’s getting the help he needs.”

The collie barked and ran in circles at the sound of Rafe’s name.

As she pulled up in front of the house, she saw Rafe seated on a porch swing. Her pulse gave a happy kick and she scrambled out of her pickup. Holding onto Compadre’s collar, she approached the wide porch, painted gray to match the house. But when she tried to speak, her voice caught in her throat.

Rafe stood up, obviously having heard the vehicle. Wood chips fluttered around his feet.

He looked fantastic in tight black jeans and a pale blue shirt that enhanced his naturally bronze skin tones. Belatedly, Alexa recognized he’d been whittling.

“Alexa?” He must have recognized her step moments before Compadre yipped excitedly and nearly bowled him over. His knife fell to the porch with a clunk. The dog head-butted Rafe’s thigh, then scurried off to investigate the shiny object.

“It is me,” Alexa said. “Compadre gave us away.” She knelt and scooped up Rafe’s knife. Fighting a desire to throw her arms around him in greeting, she straightened. “Here’s your knife. I wasn’t aware you were a wood-carver.”

“What are you doing here?” he exclaimed. “Uh, not that I’m not glad. I am.” He cleared his throat. “I fool around with carving. You caught me trying to whittle a reasonable facsimile of Dog. I’d planned to give it to you as soon as I talked Doug into driving me out to your ranch.” Rafe extended a rough-hewn collie carved from a grainy wood. With the multicolored striations of the wood, the statue looked remarkably like Compadre.

Alexa ran a finger along the carving, but her hand collided with Rafe’s and she snatched it back. “It’s a fine likeness, Rafe. Really good.”

He shrugged. “I used to carve to calm my nerves between rides at rodeos. I quit carving in boot camp. There was never time. I took it up again in Iraq while we waited to go out on missions. I made whistles and toys for local kids. I guess I’m at loose ends again. Sierra pitches a fit about my carving. She’s positive I’m going to miss with the knife and cut an artery.”

“Speaking of Sierra, I don’t see her van. Or any vehicles. Are you here on your own?”

“She and the kids went to town for groceries. They always make a day of it. She’ll pick up Curt and Chloe from school before coming home. Hey, come share my swing and tell me what brings you out this way.”

“I’ll, uh, take this chair. After you left, Rafe, I stewed over letting you go without my version of what happened in Houston. With my holistic practice,” she added, setting her purse down and perching gingerly on a weathered deck chair. “It’s probably not important to you, but I’d like to set the record straight.”

Rafe felt for the swing cushion and sat back down. Compadre wagged his tail and crowded close. “Alexa, you don’t have to talk about it if it’s too painful.”

“No, I want to. But it’s…harder than I imagined to speak about even after so much time.” She gulped down a shaky breath. “I…I was barely fourteen and Bobby Duval eighteen when we met. My dad hired him to be a general gofer in his office and the oil fields. If you ever saw any of the old James Dean films, that pretty much describes Bobby. Cool. Gutsy. He didn’t walk. He swaggered.”

Rafe scooted Compadre aside and continued to put the finishing touches on his carving. The knife dug into the soft wood, forming curls in the dog’s coat. “James Dean, huh? I get the picture. You fell for each other right off.”

“It wasn’t that way,” she said quickly. “I was an awkward overachiever, always out of place with my peers because teachers kept jumping me ahead in school. I hated that. Neither of my parents understood I only wanted to feel normal. I graduated from college at fifteen, Rafe. My mother and my teachers were investigating medical schools for me to attend, but none would waive the age requirement for entry. Somehow mother learned I could attend osteopathic college and live at home—she didn’t want me to give up my comfortable lifestyle for a college dorm.” Alexa laughed, but she knew it sounded strained. “Bobby had zero advantages. He barely squeaked through high school. But he was determined to learn every aspect of the oil business from my dad. He had big dreams, and he saw right through me. I can’t say why we hit it off. Bobby was a real diamond in the rough, but he just loved life and was so much fun to be around. I think he counted on me to hone his rough edges.”

“I’d say you’re a natural.” Rafe shook off the last wood shavings from his shirt and jeans and closed his knife. He held the carving out for Alexa to take.

“Rafe, this is fantastic.” She ran a finger over the smooth wood. “It looks just like Compadre, even though you’ve never seen him.”

“Hands-on petting,” Rafe said, pocketing his knife. “Here’s where I should tell you I pumped Sierra until she told me you
are
a ringer for Cameron Diaz. I’m pretty sure I know what was on your Bobby Duval’s mind back then.”

“You’re wrong. I was geeky. Still, my mother and father weren’t very happy about all the time Bobby and I spent together. They didn’t want me talking to him when he delivered messages from the field. Bobby found the whole thing amusing. He considered my mom uppity but he had a grudging respect for my dad. Even before I turned nineteen and set up my office, people assumed Bobby and I were lovers. Stop!” Instinctively Alexa held up a hand. “I can tell by your smirk you’re like everyone else. All Bobby and I had was a brief fling the summer I turned eighteen. And we both agreed it was a mistake.”

Rafe snorted.

“I swear—it amounted to nothing.”

Rafe’s jaw flexed. Was he jealous? Alexa scooted closer and curved a hand over his rigid forearm. “I loved Bobby, but I wasn’t
in
love with him,” she stressed.

“If you say so.”

“I do. Our friendship was too important to both of us to risk a romantic relationship. Besides, Bobby liked being a player. He wasn’t about to commit to one woman. He was totally focused on being an oil tycoon like my dad. If he and I ever argued over anything it was that. My father was a driven man, and I knew Bobby wasn’t ruthless enough. But he didn’t listen. So he went from being Dad’s gofer to a fulltime roustabout against my advice. And Dad kept Bobby working more hours in the field so he had less time to hang out with me. That’s when I studied Chinese acupuncture.”

Alexa blew out a breath. This was the part she didn’t like to remember. “For years Bobby nagged me to apply to medical school, so I finally relented. I was under consideration at two Texas universities, then on NewYear’s Eve, Bobby lost control of his Jeep during a storm. He hit a tree. A huge live oak.” Alexa’s voice cracked.

Rafe stopped tugging the dog’s ears. “For cripe’s sake, why didn’t you tell Ms. Holmes she had her facts all wrong, that your friend died in a car wreck?”

“She didn’t get it wrong,” Alexa said tightly.

“What do you mean?”

“Bobby didn’t die in the accident, Rafe. He died from complications resulting from his injuries—after he signed himself out of the hospital and came to stay with me. I begged him to go back to the hospital when he took a downturn, but he refused.” Alexa couldn’t believe how painful the memories still were.

“You should have hired a lawyer, Alexa.”

“My dad did. A top attorney. But, the Duvals’ lawyer came and said I could settle instead.” Alexa closed her eyes, remembering. “I should have listened to my parents, but I just wanted it over. Bobby’s parents’ allegations were horrible. I thought settling would end it, but I was wrong. The media picked up the story. Reporters said I would’ve fought the case if I wasn’t guilty of incompetence. As a result, I lost patients. Both universities passed on my med school applications. Everybody thought my moving to the ranch was taking a coward’s way out…that running away suggested guilt. But…the ordeal hurt me. I…I wasn’t as immune to criticism as I thought.”

Rafe knew Alexa would have done everything she could for her friend, including getting him to a hospital if he’d agreed. Now he understood better why she’d been so reluctant to take him on as a patient—and so upset when their relationship had heated up.

Rafe could sympathize with Bobby. Like him, he had nothing to offer a woman like Alexa. Her folks wouldn’t like his background, either. They’d think a broken-down ex-cowboy, ex-soldier wasn’t good enough for their daughter. And maybe he wasn’t.

Wheels spun inside Rafe’s head. He’d thought maybe together they could buy and train high-quality cutting horses. There used to be a demand for them all across Texas. But, could he ask her to take on a partner—in business and life—when he couldn’t even see?

“God, Alexa,” was all he could manage to say.

She frowned. “I know it’s bad, Rafe. But my dad said Bobby’s parents wanted to ruin me and bankrupt him.”

Rafe just kept shaking his head, uncertain what to say. Alexa took his silence as criticism after she’d bared her soul to him.

She shot out of the deck chair. “Thanks for the carving, Rafe. I’ll cherish it always. But…but I have to leave. Come, Compadre.”

The dog licked Rafe’s hand and then followed Alexa down the porch steps.

“Hey, wait,” Rafe said, stirring at last. The last thing he wanted was for Alexa to go. He felt for the porch railing and used it to guide him to the steps. “Don’t rush off. Stick around. In fact, stay for supper. Sierra will get after me if I let you take off before she gets home.”

“Baloney! I know for a fact your sister was anything but happy about asking me to take your case.”

“We had a talk about that,” Rafe said. “Sierra finds it hard to stop playing big sister and mother all rolled into one. I told her I was absolutely certain Ms. Holmes didn’t have her facts straight about you.”

“You said that?” Alexa didn’t sound completely convinced. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, Rafe. But Bobby did die on my watch. Oh, I know I did nothing to contribute to his death, but I should never have let him wheedle me into taking his case. Bobby was like family to me. I’ll feel guilty about that forever.”

Rafe knew all about guilt. It was a subject he’d rather not examine. “Hindsight is twenty-twenty,” he settled on saying.

“I suppose. But knowing I can’t change the past doesn’t seem to help me quit blaming myself.”

Blame? Oh, boy. There was enough of that to go around. Rafe leaned on the railing and wiped his sweaty palms down his jeans.

“Rafe, are you okay? You seem a bit, I don’t know, rocky.”

“I’m okay. What time is it?”

“Twenty past twelve. Can I fix you a sandwich?” Alexa offered.

“If you’ll drive us to town, I’ll buy you lunch.”

“I’d like that, but remember I have Compadre. I can’t leave him here.” At least her voice sounded brighter.

“Okay, so that means we can’t go to Cibolo Creek guest ranch. It’s the nicest place around.”

“I don’t need anyplace fancy.”

“I know but I wanted to take you somewhere nice.”

She laughed. “I appreciate the thought, but I came straight from doing chores, Rafe. I’m wearing really holey jeans.”

“Okay, so let’s grab tacos in town. Then we can walk around.”

“My pickup is parked right in front of the bottom step.”

After Rafe locked up, they headed toward her truck. Alexa opened the door for Compadre to hop in first, then Rafe.

“I have the passenger window down,” she said. “You know Compadre likes to poke his nose out. If he makes a nuisance of himself, I’ll stop and tighten his doggie seat belt so he stays between us.”

“You have a dog seat belt? I don’t think I realized that when we drove to Study Butte.”

“I’m a stickler. Bobby wasn’t wearing his the night his Jeep hit the tree. Had he been belted in, the emergency team said his injuries wouldn’t have been so bad. Now, do I turn right at the end of the lane?”

“Right…yes. Then at the first crossroad you’ll turn onto highway 170.”

“One-seventy follows the Rio Grande.”

“We’re not going that far,” Rafe told her. “Lajitas is between Big Bend Park and the river. It’s your typical border town. On the Mexico side is Paso Lajitas. Both towns once thrived on park visitors, then someone decided to close the airport and then closed down the border crossing. It’s still heavily patrolled, but both towns went stagnant.”

“What a shame.”

Compadre settled his feet on Rafe’s right leg and leaned out the passenger window.

“Lajitas started as an Army outpost when Pancho Villa was terrorizing the area,” Rafe informed Alexa as she made the turn.

“Well, that’s some claim to fame.”

Rafe smiled. “I grew up on stories about Villa’s raids. I always thought I’d have loved living in the west when it was woolly and untamed.”

It was a moment before Alexa replied, and Rafe could almost feel her assessing him. “I can see you riding these desolate canyons hunting stray longhorns, Rafe.”

“You can’t see me riding with Pancho Villa’s raiders?”

“Frankly, no. You’d more likely be standing with villagers, helping barricade the town against the bad guys.”

Rafe knew his laughter had a darker side. “Most people around Terlingua would have seen me as one of the bad guys—a mixed-race kid. White ranchers in the area sure didn’t want me dating their daughters.”