This Christmas (7 page)

“A physical terrorist, huh?” The comment pulled a chuckle out of her. “I’m familiar with your kind. My shoulder rehab was hell.”

“I’m not surprised. Your injury is notorious for hellish rehabs.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she stiffened.

“You know about my shoulder?”

“I keep up a little, yeah.”

“You checked up on me?” This was good. This was
really
good. Knowing she might actually care was like a second miracle. But he wasn’t going to push it. He couldn’t. “Thank you.”

She nodded politely, and that was all Jake could hope for at this point. It was a start, and considering how this whole scene could have gone down, Jake was relieved.

Looking toward the sky, Bree grinned at the light snow that had started to fall. It dusted her hair and shoulders, and the air sparkled around her. She looked like an angel.

“It’s really Christmastime,” she whispered.

Jake didn’t take his eyes off her. He’d seen his share of snow living in the great white north, but Bree was an exquisite sight. Passionate and beautiful, he wanted to fix what went wrong between them more than anything. But there was a lot of anger on both sides, and Jake didn’t know if that was possible.

B
ree breathed a little easier now that things had settled some. Jake would come over tomorrow, he could spend some time with Charlie, and they could start to figure out their relationship. Of course, at that point, Bree was relieved that Jake was leaving. He had his keys in his hand and Bree couldn’t get him gone fast enough. She’d thought she was over him, or at best, she’d be angry enough his presence wouldn’t affect her.

She was wrong on both counts.

He not only affected her, she found, even angry, their exchanges were easy and honest, and her heart ached with how much she’d missed him. Everything about Jake from his voice to his face to his body made her respond, but what Bree missed most was his innate kindness. His gentleness.

“You should have told me,” he’d said.
Yes, she should have.

She had to keep reminding herself that Jake Killen had broken her heart. Badly. She couldn’t let him get to her, not for one second, but watching him walk to his car made her body hum. It was certainly no hardship to look at him. Bree admired the way his shoulders filled out his hoodie and the way his jeans hung on his hips, the powerful muscles of his rear and thighs shaping the fabric.

Bree didn’t know Jade was standing next to her on the front porch until she let out a little whoosh of breath. “God, he’s gorgeous.”

Bree grinned and sighed. He sure was. “Yeah. I’m going to have to keep my wits about me when he’s around.”

He was just about to get into his truck when the front door flew open, and Charlie dashed out of the house, down the steps, and straight to her father.

“Wait!” she called. “You can’t leave yet!”

“Oh, no,” Bree whispered before she descended the stairs. She was just about to intervene when Jake turned and went down on one knee to be closer to Charlie. Staying a few feet back she watched her daughter interact with her father for the first time.

“Why are you going?” Charlie’s voice cracked a little.

Jake rubbed her arm and then took her small hand in his. “I figured you were tired from your day, but I’m coming back tomorrow. I was thinking we could do something then.”

“Okay. I just want to talk to you. I mean... I just...” Their little girl was overcome with so many feelings she could barely speak. “Do you promise to come back?”

Jake looked at Bree, his blue eyes revealing the love he already had for his child.

He turned his attention back to Charlie and smiled. “You bet. I wouldn’t miss spending time with you for anything.”

Charlie didn’t hesitate and threw her arms around his neck. Jake was startled at first, not knowing what to do. But then, he did what came naturally, pulling her close and burying his face in her hair. The two of them clung to each other, and Bree, who was still a few steps back, could see keeping him from his child was the biggest mistake she’d ever made. Her heart was crying for both of them. God, she’d been selfish.

“Your hair is damp,” he said. “You’re going to get cold.”

Charlie released him and smiled, then she reached into her pocket and pulled out the small photo album that was in the box. “Mom made this for you. It’s pictures of me from when I was little.”

He looked up again, surprised. “You did that?”

Sabrina shrugged, unable to do any more without completely losing it. “I hope you like it.”

Jake stood and unzipped his hoodie, draping it around Charlie’s small shoulders. “You hang onto this for me, okay?”

She pulled it close around her and smiled. “You won’t be cold?”

“Nah. I grew up with polar bears.”

Charlie’s eyes went wide. “Really? Aren’t they mean?”

“Only a little.” He laughed and kissed the top of her head. “If it’s okay with your mom, I’d like to take you to the Mariners game tomorrow night. I do kind of have to be there, and I’d love to watch the game with you.”

Wow. What Jade said before was dead on—Jake wasn’t playing. He had a daughter and he was all in—no hesitation, no question.

“Mommy, can I go?”

What could she say? She hadn’t seen Jake in ten years, he could have changed. He could be reckless and irresponsible. But looking at the two of them, the hope in their eyes, she couldn’t say no. Jake was still injured so chances were they’d be watching from the team box. He’d be with her the whole time and it was good for them to bond over something they both loved. She was almost a little jealous she wasn’t going to be able to see it.

“Of course you can go.”

Charlie’s arms shot up in victory. “Woo hoo! Thanks, Mom!”

She danced around and ran up the steps to Jade, babbling at her the whole way.

Jake turned in Bree’s direction and the smile on his face said it all. “Thanks, Bree. I would have understood if you said no. I mean, I really don’t know her yet.”

“She’s so happy. Look at her.” Charlie was still talking to Jade, then turned, ran down the steps and hugged Jake around the waist, then Bree got the same. “What time tomorrow?” Charlie asked.

“I’ll talk to your mom about it. Okay?”

Charlie nodded and danced back to Jade who took her into the house. “She’s going to love going to the game with you.”

“I hope so. You know, you could come if you want, if you aren’t sure about letting her go alone.” There was the invitation she was looking for.

The three of them at a game together? The thought alternately thrilled and terrified her. She was so drawn to him, but Bree didn’t know if she’d ever be able to give her heart so completely to anyone again. Her attraction to Jake demanded no less.

“Maybe you two should do this one on your own. You don’t need me there.”

There was no response, at least not a verbal one. His expression changed, going from disappointment to understanding. “If you change your mind, just let me know. I’ll be here about 2:00, okay? The game is at five.”

“Okay. Are you driving all the way back to the city tonight?”

“No, I called a friend who has a house in Bridgehampton. I’m crashing there. In fact, I think I’ll be staying there for a few weeks, at least.”

“Oh, that’s convenient. You’re sure you don’t mind taking Charlie?”

“Nope, not at all. I think you’re right. It will be good for us, you know?”

Bree wondered how her girl was going to handle the testosterone heavy world of pro hockey. Sure, her father lived in the house, but he and her brother kept a low profile, especially when Cass, Jade, and Kara put in an appearance. But it was time to let go a little and let Jake have a hand in her upbringing. She had no doubt he would take good care of her, it was already obvious that Miss Charlotte was going to have her daddy wrapped around her little finger, if she didn’t already.

Jake held up the photo album and Bree stared at it. In the excitement about tomorrow’s game, Bree forgot Charlie had given it to him. Yet there he stood holding it up and smiling.

“You made this for me?”

“I put pictures in it. Don’t make it more than it is.”

Flipping through, Jake passed his hand over each picture, but he went back to one of Bree holding their newborn daughter. Charlie was maybe a few hours old, and Sabrina was already so in love with her child, it hurt. She remembered the moment like it was yesterday.

“I like this one the best,” he said softly. “I wish I could have seen you pregnant.”

“I looked like I had a beach ball up my shirt.”

He chuckled and Bree smiled, thinking that each moment of her pregnancy, right up to the day she gave birth, was a miracle. Then she went into labor—the worst thirty hours of her life, followed by the most amazing gift she’d ever received.

“I’ll bet you were adorable.”

“I was huge. When I finally had her, I was happy to see my feet again.”

Jake flipped to different photos, looking at each on carefully, smiling at some and appearing more wistful as he examined others.

“I really do like this one best.” he said once again about her and her new baby. “You look beautiful.”

Man, they had to get off this topic. Bree grabbed the album and flipped the pages quickly. “There are some great pictures of Charlie from the trip we took to Disney. She was only four, but she had so much fun.”

“Sabrina,” He cupped her cheek and gently tilted her face toward his. His eyes were intensely blue and, once they locked on hers, Bree’s insides melted into a puddle of goo. But it wasn’t just his gaze that turned her to mush, it was the expression on his face which was soft, tender... it was the way he always looked at her after they’d made love, when Bree felt like the most cherished person in the world. “Thank you for this,” he said as he leaned in and kissed her forehead.

Oh, jeez. Oh, God. Every nerve ending fired when his lips came in contact with her skin. The contact was everything she desired and everything she dreaded. She’d missed him, cried for him, but there was no way she could let herself give in to him again.

She stepped back, pulling her jacket around her and folding her arms safely across her chest. “I have to go in.”

“I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry. I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate what you did”

“No.” Raising her hands defensively, she took another step back. If she didn’t get away from him she’d throw herself at him. “You don’t have to thank me for anything. I didn’t tell you about her. Don’t make me a hero because I kept some photos for you.”

She practically ran for the steps and the house. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bree—”

“Night!” As soon as she closed the door, Sabrina pressed her back against it and sank to the floor, pulling her legs close to her chest. Her head dropped to her knees with a thump, and she groaned.

“So,” Jade leaned back against a table in the foyer. “That went well. He’s great with Charlie.”

“Oh, my God. I can’t ever be alone with him again.” That was a given. If he touched her, she’d do anything he asked. She shouldn’t be reacting like this. Why wasn’t she over him?

“Why not?” The sarcasm oozed off her words. “Things were... um... cordial.”

Bree peered at her friend over the tops of her folded arms. “I hate you a little right now. You know that, right?”

Jade squatted down and moved in close. “Want to tell me about it?”

“Nothing to tell.”

“You are such a liar, and you’re a crappy one at that. Now tell me the truth.”

Bree leaned her head back against the door. “He kissed me, on the forehead. If he’d kissed me for real, it would have been ten years ago all over again.”

Jade grinned and sat next to her on the floor. “He’s a panty dropper, that’s for sure. God, those eyes. Are eyes allowed to be that blue?”

“It’s no joke. What the hell is wrong with me?”

“Maybe nothing? He’s great with Charlie and he doesn’t seem angry about the situation.”

“Yeah,” Bree said, rubbing her temples, thinking, and then looking back at Jade. “What about that? He should be pissed off and he’s not. I think I’m more pissed off at me than he is.”

“He might be in shock. It could still hit him.” Jade laughed, pushed herself off the floor and extended her hand helping Sabrina up. “Come on. Are you hungry? Everyone else is done already, but I’ll sit with you.”

Bree shook her head. Her stomach was in such knots, she couldn’t eat if she wanted to. “Where is everyone?”

“Charlie’s upstairs with your mom getting ready for bed. She had a big day. If you’re okay, I’m going to call home and see how everyone is doing, and then go to bed myself with one of the new romances I just downloaded.”

Bree wrapped her friend in a tight hug. “Thank you. For everything.”

“Nothing to thank me for.” Jade gave her an extra squeeze before letting go. “I know you’d do the same for me. But you have to call Cass, and Kara and Elena. They’ve been texting me non-stop.”

“You want sympathy for that? You texted them and outed me!”

Jade pinched the bridge of her nose. “Fine. You’re right, I did. I’ll call.”

“Tell them I’ll explain everything when they’re out here tomorrow. Promise.”