What Happiness Looks Like (Promises) (20 page)

Adoration carried through his voice. She’d thought she’d lost her husband, but no. Maybe not yet. “Is
she
who you’ve been seeing at night?” She didn’t even want to say her name.

“I told you that first night I went to Connie’s Diner and ran into that man who collects antique watches. All he wanted to do was wife-bash, which I had no interest in doing. After that, whenever I needed some time to myself, I went to the office.”

It couldn’t be that simple. He’d been acting so out of character lately. “What about that time you put on Polo? Where did you go then?”

“The office. I didn’t even realize I put on cologne until you said something. It was a habit. Part of my getting ready to go routine.”

“What about when Joely saw you at that hotel?”

He paused. “When Joely saw me, I admit, I was eating dinner with Heather. She lives two hours from here, but happened to be in town visiting a friend that day. This is such an important decision, I felt like I needed several interactions to truly get a sense of each donor. I couldn’t tell you, though, because you were so against the whole egg donor idea.”

Conflicting emotions—anger, relief, desperation—bombarded her. She wanted to go back to simpler times. Times when she had no doubts about the strength of her marriage. Vulnerability won out. “Do you still love me?”

He offered her a kind smile. “Of course I do.” Pulling her close, he kissed her cheek. “I want you to be the mother of my children.”

Her body stiffened. “No, you want
Heather
to be the mother of your children.” It was amazing how quickly jealousy could take hold. She resented that young fertile woman who’d sat in her living room, in her territory, giggling at her husband’s jokes.

Heaving a sigh, he looked out the window and across the lawn. “I guess you need to decide what it means to be a mother. To me, it’s about opening your heart and providing for a child’s every need.”

Unable to explain herself, she took another tissue. After she dabbed at her eyes, she wadded the flimsy sheet into a ball.

He returned his attention to her. “The way you talk about Mrs. Pilo. . . it’s like she was a mother to you.”

She remembered the neighbor who watched her when her mother was too crippled to do so. Mrs. Pilo taught her how to bake a lemon cake from scratch, grating the lemon peel, carefully spooning the flour into the metal measuring cup, and then leveling it with a knife. She’d given Kate the attention she so desperately craved. She’d given her the ordinary moments in an otherwise stressful childhood.

He continued. “It didn’t matter to you that you weren’t related to her, did it?”

She pursed her lips, not ready to concede. “But it’s not fair. You get to have both—a genetic connection and an emotional one.”

He squeezed the back of his own neck. “It’s not fair. Nothing about this has been fair!” His baritone voice grew loud, his fist pounded the dashboard. “If I could fix it, I would. Don’t you know that?” For the first time in Kate’s knowledge, this topic brought tears to Mitch’s eyes.

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

JOELY

Crushed, Joely climbed into her Escort, but didn’t know where to go. Had she really offered to paint the Artist’s Café bathroom? She shook her head in disgust. This was one of those times she wished she had a cell phone. She needed to talk.

A few minutes later, she turned the key and started driving. Before she knew it, she arrived at the vet clinic. She walked in to find Pippa awkwardly leaning on one of the waiting room benches. Dalton stood over her.

He looked up when Joely opened the door. “I’m so glad you’re here. Pippa’s having some pretty strong contractions. Could you call my next few appointments and reschedule? I’m going to take Pippa to the hospital.”

“Where do I find their numbers?”

Pippa caressed her twin-sized belly. “I’ll show you.” She started to get up.

Dalton held up his hand. “No. I can show her.” He walked around the counter and pulled up the day’s schedule on the computer screen. Then he clicked on another button, which displayed the clients’ addresses and phone numbers.

Joely paid close attention and asked a couple of clarifying questions. She scribbled down some notes, not trusting her memory. Before she could get comfortable, the two of them took off.

She made the phone calls and sent away one woman who showed up with her parrot. After the pet owner left, the clinic was still except for the incessant barking from the dogs in the back. Looking around at the papers next to the computer, Joely tried to figure out how she could be helpful. She opened the mail and stacked it neatly, not knowing how to pay any of the bills that had arrived. When that was done, she checked that the animals recovering from surgery in the back were fed and watered. She was already bored, but she needed to make this work. After all, filling in for Pippa on maternity leave would provide a steady paycheck. Plus the additional work experience might help her find a permanent position.

Feeling irritated and useless, she scanned the room until her gaze rested on her mural. She couldn’t help but smile. It was some of her best work—the mare and newborn colt. She let out a sigh that no more painting jobs had materialized. And she hadn’t even had the chance to tell Dalton about her disappointing meeting at the Artist’s Café. She could use a little sympathy.

Eventually, she took a seat behind the front counter and flipped through
Dog World
magazines. Reading an article describing popular breeds and their characteristics, she thought it interesting that some of the dogs’ traits reminded her of the men in her life. Nicknamed the “American Gentleman”, Boston terriers made excellent companions because of their affectionate, loyal nature. That was Dalton, no doubt. She remembered how he called her “ma’am” the first day they’d met in Lydia Berner’s classroom and how he opened the truck door for her in the rain. He was a gentleman through and through.

Below that was a picture of a dog with piercing blue eyes that looked like it should be pulling a sled, the Alaskan malamute. The writer described them as friendly, beautiful and strong. That characterized Jake. They also can have a mind of their own—in other words, they were stubborn. Definitely Jake.

When Jake wanted something he went after it. She remembered when he’d coveted his college roommate’s Civil War-themed chess set and Jake had kept offering him more money. When that didn’t work, Jake offered to do his laundry for six months. (His poor roommate—none of his whites were ever white again).

Jake was definitely strong-willed. What were Dalton’s faults? Joely scratched her chin. She didn’t know. How could she not know after all this time? He had too many pets? He had no desire to travel? He still had a picture of his ex hanging on the wall?

She selected a blank piece of paper out of the printer and started drawing the canines—first the Boston terrier and then the Alaskan malamute. She added wire-rimmed glasses and cowboy boots to the first and Ray-Bans to the second. She smiled to herself.

The phone rang and she jumped to answer it. “Hello? I mean, Dalton Vet Clinic. No, Dalton Animal Clinic. Um, how can I help you?”

A panicked female voice came over the line. “My dog just ate chocolate. Isn’t that poison for dogs? Should I bring him in?”

Joely swallowed. “Um. I think I’ve heard that about dogs and chocolate. But Dalton, I mean, Dr. Taylor, the vet, isn’t in. Maybe you should call another clinic.”

“Seriously? That’s your advice? Unbelievable!” The frantic woman slammed down the phone.

Her heart dropped. She’d failed. She looked around at all of the papers stacked on the counter, wondering if any of them could’ve provided an answer to that woman’s question. It didn’t appear so. Her gaze landed on the computer. Maybe she should’ve Googled “dogs and chocolate”.

While she berated herself, she heard someone coming through the front door. Hoping Dalton had returned, she looked up. Instead, she saw Renee, Dalton’s Playboy Bunny neighbor.

Renee strutted in, dressed in a form-fitting, fuchsia dress. “Is Dalton in?”

Joely waited for the woman to recognize her, but her expression remained neutral. Sure, they’d only met once, but still. Wasn’t Joely memorable? She stood, hoping her height would make her feel less threatened. “He isn’t. May I help you?”

Renee tossed her long flaxen hair over her shoulder. “I just came from a mani-pedi and since I was in the neighborhood, I thought I’d see if he wanted to take me to lunch. Will he be back soon?”

Was it wrong that she took pleasure in stonewalling Renee? “Today isn’t a good day for him; he had to leave on an emergency. But I’ll let him know you stopped by.”

Renee licked her pink lips, a perfect match for her dress. “I’ll leave him a note.” She pointed toward a notepad and pen, waiting for Joely to retrieve them even though they were within reach. After she wrote several sentences in loopy cursive, she folded the paper up and handed it to Joely. Her exit included a beauty queen-riding-on-a-float wave goodbye.

Turning the folded paper over in her hand, Joely studied the light blue lines. Were the two of them dating? It sure looked that way. Joely had even encouraged Dalton to play the field so she had no right to be jealous. Especially considering her tryst with Jake at the hotel.

But that had been a one-time slip. Dalton was the man for her. Loyalty versus looks. Kindness versus stubbornness. There was no contest.

She tried to return her attention to an article about Dalmatians and how they became associated with firehouses, but her mind wandered back to Renee’s note. She eyed the square paper sitting next to her on the counter.

Did she really want to know? It wasn’t as if Dalton was cheating on her. They hadn’t made any kind of commitment. It wasn’t like high school where he would’ve given her his class ring, asking her to go steady. This grown-up dating had looser rules. Rules she didn’t understand, obviously, because she did feel guilty for what she’d done with Jake. But if Dalton were sleeping with Renee, maybe she could let go of that guilt.

She unfolded the rest of the note, revealing Renee’s curly handwriting.
“
Want to come by tonight? I miss you. Call me.”
She’d signed it with a little heart.

Come by for what?

Two hours later Dalton walked in carrying a bouquet of pink and white carnations. “These are for you. I wanted roses, but the hospital gift shop was sold out.”

Joely smiled at his thoughtfulness. “How’s Pippa?”

“As good as can be expected. Both her husband and mother are with her now.” He offered her the bouquet. “Thanks for filling in on such short notice.”

She took the flowers and inhaled their soft scent. “That’s why you love me.” Love? Why the hell had she said the “l” word?

He didn’t deny it. Instead, he looked over his shoulder to make sure they were alone, and kissed her.

The flowers fell onto the counter. She savored the moment until he released her. Yes, Dalton was the logical choice. Her hands propped on her hips. “So, tell me about your neighbor, Renee.”

Looking down, he took a step back. “There’s not much to tell.”

“Are you sleeping with her?”

His thumb rubbed where his wedding ring used to be. “No.”

“That was kind of a long hesitation there.”

He swallowed and shoved his hands in his jean pockets. “We dated for a while. But it’s over now.”

Dated. That meant slept with. Jealousy snaked around her heart.

When he looked away, she dropped Renee’s note in the trash.

KATE

Hours later the front door of Kate’s house banged open and Lily struggled to maneuver Dayna’s pink and gray stroller inside. Kate had offered to drive them places, but Lily always turned her down.

From her seat on the living room couch, Kate held up the forms, creased into thirds, ready to slide in the business-sized envelope. “I need you to sign these and next thing you know, you’ll be a college student.”

Lily unhooked the latches in the carrier and lifted Dayna out. She placed the infant back side down onto the carpet. She still never bothered with a baby blanket. “What’s that?”

“It’s the application for College Tech. Your tuition is all paid for.”

“But I don’t know what I want to study.”

“Study English or journalism. Lots of freshmen are undecided on their major. But once you have a college degree, you’ll have more job opportunities.”

Lily crossed her arms. “I didn’t fit in there. Those kids are too happy, too normal. I’m not like them.”

Time to summon her inner cheerleader. “Lily, you never worried about fitting in before. You can focus on your classes and Dayna and not worry about the other kids.”

“Who will watch Dayna while I’m gone?”

Smiling at the red fuzz on Dayna’s head, Kate talked about the affordable daycare on campus.

The young mother crouched down next to Dayna and offered her a key ring to play with. “But I don’t know those people. You have no idea what happens to kids at the babysitter’s.”

“You can go there and meet the staff. Tour the place. I’m sure it’s very nice.” She chided herself for not checking the daycare center out when they’d been on their campus tour.

“Do you really think I could get in to college?” Lily watched as Dayna jingled the keys in her tiny fist.

“Yes. I wrote you a glowing recommendation. It can’t hurt to apply.” Kate searched in a nearby drawer. She pulled out a pen and offered it to Lily, but she didn’t take it.

“I don’t think college is for me. I did horrible in school.”

Kate gestured toward Dayna who was quite enamored with the clanking metal. “If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for her. You can’t support her on what you’re making at the library.”

Lily stared at Dayna who let go of the keys. “Don’t you still want to adopt her?”

Words failed her. She’d noticed the way Lily had gradually learned how to distinguish Dayna’s different cries—loud, frantic ones when she was hungry, softer ones when she was bored, and whiny ones when she was tired. Lily had even figured out feeding and napping routines. More and more she took Dayna with her when she left the house, too.

Kate looked at the baby rocking side to side, trying to roll over. Silently she rooted for her. “What do you want to do with Dayna?”

“Your husband is a good man, isn’t he?”

Remembering how Mitch had described her blue eyes as somewhere between twilight and dusk, Kate’s skin popped with goose bumps. You’d think he was a photographer, not an engineer, with an observation like that. “Yes, Mitch is a good man. One of the best.”

“I’ve never known a guy like him. I mean, Butch is pretty cool, but. . . .” She caressed Dayna’s tiny foot. “Your husband wants a baby as badly as you do?”

Was Kate’s own desperation that obvious? She nodded. “Very much so.”

“Maybe you could keep Dayna while I went to college and when I got a good job, like you promised, I could take care of her myself.”

Temporary motherhood. Caring and bonding with a baby, knowing all along, someday her mother would want her back. It would torture her.

God, she wanted to help Lily anyway she could, but she wasn’t sure about this. Mitch definitely wouldn’t like it. The point was for them to have their own baby.

Kate took a deep breath. “You’re asking too much.”