What Happiness Looks Like (Promises) (22 page)

A silver hunting knife shined on top of the pale yellow sheets.

The pillow dropped on the floor and Joely raced out of the room. Who was this Lily? Was she violent? Kate hadn’t really told her much of anything. And all of this time Anna had been living here with a crazy girl who carried a knife.

Joely rushed down the hall to find Kate. She opened the master bedroom door, calling out her sister’s name.

Kate was in the adjoining bathroom putting on brown eye shadow, which would highlight her blue eyes. A gilded frame surrounded the vanity’s mirror as if it were a piece of art. In the middle of a brush stroke, Kate stared at the mirror’s center. “What’s wrong?”

“I found a knife under Lily’s pillow!”

After a quick glance at Joely, Kate turned back to her reflection. Her chest rose with a slow breath. “It helps her feel safe. I can’t explain it, but you don’t need to worry.”

Joely watched as Kate put down her eye shadow and dabbed on mascara. “How can this not freak you out?” Getting no response from Kate, Joely crossed her arms. “I need to know what you’re going to do about Lily keeping weapons in her room.”

Pausing with her mascara wand in mid-air, Kate seemed perturbed. “She doesn’t keep weapons. It’s just the one knife. And she will be leaving in the fall to go to college.”

“That’s months away. I can’t wait that long.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, Joely, I’ve got a lot to figure out here myself. And your happiness is going to take a back seat for once.”

“I can’t stay here knowing that Lily keeps a sharp knife in her room. I mean, we still have child safety locks on the silverware drawer in the kitchen.” Anna had long ago figured out how to push down on the plastic lever to release them, but still. It was Joely’s job to protect Anna at all costs.

Clearly annoyed, Kate dropped her mascara tube into her makeup bag. “Do what you gotta do.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

JOELY

Later that evening, Joely handed Dalton his folded Oklahoma State Fair shirt and the jeans he’d loaned her the first time she’d fallen in the mud. They’d been resting in a pile on her bedroom floor ever since that day because she couldn’t decide what to do with them.

Wearing his wire-rimmed glasses, he accepted the clothes and gestured toward the living room. “Make yourself comfortable. I’ll get us something to drink.”

After Joely had picked up Anna from school, they’d hung out in town, eating hummingbird cake at Connie’s Diner then playing in the park for hours. It had been a long day and Joely could feel her body growing weaker.

Using her cane for balance, she sat in the recliner, noticing a copy of
Field & Stream
splayed open on the floor. He needs a coffee table, she thought. Turning her attention to a white cat hair stuck in the arm’s red upholstery, she picked at it until Dalton came back. “Thanks for letting Anna and me come over. I had a big fight with Kate and didn’t know where else to go.”

He handed her a cup of iced tea. “I’m glad you came by. I hated the way we left things. Plus Ryan has been begging for a play date with someone his own age instead of his boring, old dad.”

“You’re not old.” Ignoring her drink, she glanced out the window at the two kids playing tag in the yard. Nerves twisted in her gut. “Ryan often plays outside by himself?” She didn’t usually let Anna outside without adult supervision.

Dalton nodded, sitting on the end of the loveseat closest to her. “We’re in the middle of nowhere. All of the kidnappers know to go to the city. Lots of kids there to choose from.” His lips turned upward as he winked.

OK, she knew kidnapping was not very likely. They’d hear the engine of any vehicle that drove up. But her stomach refused to settle down. She couldn’t quite identify her worries besides the obvious—the knife under Lily’s pillow. “Kate’s place doesn’t feel very home-y anymore.”

He leaned forward, touching her knee. “You’re welcome here. We’re good together, aren’t we? You like Billy Joel and I own one of his CDs. I love dogs and you’re not allergic.”

Not wanting to give in to laughter, she took a sip from her glass. The ice cubes shifted with a clank. “Are you still hoping that Ryan’s mom will come back?”

He withdrew his hand. Leaning back on the loveseat, he placed his arm along its top. “Is that what you think?”

She thought of the family portrait in the hall. “Yes.”

He gazed out the window at his son. “I’m not that naïve. Not anymore.”

“Is there a chance that you’ll want to get married later?”

He shook his head. “I don’t think so. Been there, done that.”

Joely wondered what her next move should be. She and Dalton wanted different things. He wanted her to pretend that living together was better than being married. He wanted her to pretend she was content answering telephones. She knew being an artist wasn’t an easy way to make a living, but she needed someone to encourage her, not allow her to give up. “Can you call a temporary agency or something to fill in while Pippa’s on maternity leave?”

“I can’t believe this is going to be the end of us.” Again, he shook his head. “I know you need this job. At least stay until you can find something else.”

“Thanks.” She rattled the ice cubes against her glass just to have something to do with her hands. “I’m working on that.” The problem was, she had no better offers at the moment.

He tapped the toes of his cowboy boots rhythmically against the hardwood floor. “Have you ever had raspberry soup?”

She cocked her head at the odd question. “No.”

“My wife dragged me to this French restaurant one time. She liked foreign restaurants, always liked to pretend she was someplace else.” He sighed and rubbed his naked ring finger. The tan line had faded. “Anyway, the waiter said the special of the day included potage framboise, raspberry soup. I couldn’t imagine it, thinking that it would be hot, not cold. Plus it didn’t seem very manly to eat raspberry soup, so I ordered something else. But I’ve always wondered about that raspberry soup. I think I would’ve liked it, but I’ve never seen it on the menu anywhere again.”

She watched him take off his wire-framed glasses and loop them over his knee. He took a breath. “The point is that I wasn’t expecting raspberry soup and so I passed it up. But I’ve been regretting it ever since. Maybe this, us, we’re your raspberry soup.”

She shook her head. “Remember that first day in Lydia Berner’s classroom? You said I looked like a woman who knew who she was. Well, I also know what I want. I may not ever get it, but I’m not going settle either. I’m sorry.”

Just then the front door of the log cabin swung open. Ryan stood on the threshold, bent over and panting. “It’s Anna. She’s gone.”

Joely sprang from her chair, spilling her tea on the floor. “What do you mean Anna’s gone?”

Ryan’s face shone with sweat. His glasses fogged up. “We were playing hide-n-seek. I’ve been looking and looking, but I can’t find her.”

“How long has she been gone?”

Ryan shrugged. “I don’t know. An hour?”

Had they really been there that long? Wired with adrenaline, she pushed past Ryan and hobbled out into the yard. “Anna!” Her eyes scanned the front lawn. Clouds had rolled in, turning the sky dark. It smelled like a storm was brewing. “Anna Jo!”

Dalton and Ryan joined her, calling Anna’s name. Three different pitches of “Anna” filled the air. Only the dogs barked in response.

Joely’s attention landed on the river. “Oh, no. Do you think Anna could’ve fallen in?” Her heart hammered against her ribs. Her knees sharp with pain, she limped toward the river’s soft edge, searching.

Holding Ryan’s hand, Dalton came close. “She’s not in the river, Joely. She’s probably lost in the woods.”

She looked downriver to the dense forest, the perfect hiding place in the eyes of a five-year-old. Dalton said something about the police and getting her cane. She couldn’t wait for that. Her legs were already pulling her away when she asked him to call Kate, too. Through sheer determination, she forced her body to carry her. “An-na! An-na!”

The whoosh of the nearby river taunted her. Surely Anna knew better than to go anywhere near it, didn’t she? Anna was smart, but she was only five. She still believed in aliens and unicorns and fairies. Making her way closer to the forest, Joely clenched her fists and screamed at the top of her lungs.

Then a cloud ripped open, releasing the rain.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

LILY

Dear Dayna,

Good news! Butch said we can move back in—you and me! I’ve been bringing you over to his trailer, hoping that he will see how you have his same nose, kind of flat and wide at the bottom. It’s so cute. Plus your attached earlobes and your stubby toes come from him.

He said you don’t cry as much as he thought you would. (That’s because I take you over there right after your feeding, when you’re full and fat and sleepy.)

I packed up what I could into the two Wal-Mart plastic bags I brought with me. Even though I left all of the clothes Mrs. H bought me behind, I still filled the diaper bag and had left-over stuff. I had to leave the stroller and the big bottle of Johnson’s baby wash. We can use regular soap, probably, or shampoo. It’s raining so I called Butch and he’s going to pick us up in his car.

I didn’t tell Mrs. H we were going because I was afraid she would try to talk me out of it. She thinks I’m smart and wants me to climb the career ladder or something, but I’m definitely not college material.

I’m also not my mom. I will never lose interest in you or let Butch or anyone hurt you. You will be safe with me.

Your mom,

Lily

KATE

Kate had a bad feeling when the phone rang that evening. Sheets of rain streamed down the dark windows. She’d fallen asleep watching TV on the couch, pondering Evan’s note. Guilt over their more-than-friends relationship prevented her from spooning with Mitch upstairs in bed. She crossed the room and picked up the phone. “Hello?”

“Kate Hopper? This is Officer Gorman. Zoe’s mother.”

Zoe was the little girl with cancer, the one with clear blue eyes that never cried. Dread filled Kate’s chest. “Is Zoe alright?”

“Yes. I’m afraid I have some bad news, though. I just left the scene of a fatal accident.”

Her first thought went to Mitch, even though she knew he was safe upstairs. She’d heard Lily sneak out not too long ago, so she, Joely and Anna were all unaccounted for. She sucked in her breath. “Who?”

“Evan Holmes.”

Starting to sway, she leaned her back against the wall. “Oh my God. What happened?”

“He was on a motorcycle and hit a tree. We’re not sure if he swerved to miss hitting an animal or what.”

She slid down onto the floor. “He wasn’t wearing a helmet, was he?” She already knew the answer.

“No, I’m afraid not.”

Wondering if it had been an accident or suicide, the phone started to shake in her hand. Evan had been so down lately. Plus he’d given Joely that odd note:

“Please Help Me

Take Care Of Bobby”.

Her hand covered her mouth in horror. “What about his son? Is he OK?”

“That’s why I’m calling you. The babysitter is a twelve-year-old girl. She said that Evan gave her your number in case of an emergency.”

Kate couldn’t speak. This didn’t make sense.

The woman continued in a business-like voice. “Technically, I’m supposed to take the child so he can be placed into a temporary foster care home. But you know how scary that must be for a kid, to go into an unfamiliar place with strangers. I would hate for that to ever happen to Zoe. . . I’m bending the rules here, but if you were willing, I’d let the boy stay with you until we can locate a family member or relative.”

Kate thought of the little boy who stuck his nose against the aquarium at the doctor’s office. She thought of the little boy who called her “Kay”. She thought of the little boy sleeping in his crib, his mouth forming a tiny “O” as he clutched his stuffed dragon. Swallowing, she tried to find her voice. “Yes. I’ll take Bobby. Can you bring him here or do you want me to go over there?”

“I can bring him to you. I’ll pack some of his things first.”

Realizing that Bobby might be scared of the police officer, Kate reconsidered. “I’ll be right over. Don’t forget to pack his green dragon. It’s probably in his bed.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

JOELY

Two beams of light came toward Joely in the darkness. Thank God help was here.

Dalton shouted Joely’s name to locate her, then slipped a rain poncho over her soaked shoulders. “The police are on their way.” He gave her one of the flashlights and her cane. “Your sister wasn’t home, but Mitch is coming.”

Anger flared. Where was Kate when she needed her?

Dalton shone his flashlight beam toward the right. “How about I head over there while you continue this way?”

Again, she didn’t take the time to speak. With barely a nod, she started hiking. She plowed through the mud and the forest’s underbrush as if in a desperate three-legged race. “Anna, where are you?”

The hood of her poncho fell. Was Anna wearing a coat? Joely scanned her memory. Probably. It had been a little chilly at the park earlier. But was she wearing her favorite yellow sweater with the embroidered daisies or was it something waterproof? Joely couldn’t remember. She prayed that it was her windbreaker.

Even so, Anna would be cold and damp by now. And scared.

A chill shook Joely’s body. She pulled her hood back up.

But Anna likes the rain, Joely told herself. She liked to watch it dapple against the car window while singing “Somewhere over the Rainbow”. But this wasn’t dapple against the window kind of rain. This was windshield wipers on full-blast, whipping back and forth, still unable to see the road, kind of rain.

She shouted her daughter’s name again. For a few seconds, she stopped and listened, hoping to hear Anna’s voice. Instead, all she heard was the rattle of the rain hitting leaves. “Anna!” Her throat felt raw. “Anna!”

Blackness surrounded her. Then something pricked her ears. Pausing to listen, she realized that her mind must’ve been playing tricks on her. There wasn’t anything.

She never should’ve let Anna out of her sight. This was her fault.

Even though the cane made her movements awkward, she knew that she needed its extra support. Angry at her crippled body, she ignored its complaints and kept moving forward.

“Anna? Where are you?”

Nothing. The night seemed both loud and quiet. Her heart banged inside her chest.

“Anna!” Her voice more forceful this time. Still no answer.

Lightening flashed.

Oh God. She hoped Anna wasn’t sitting under a tall tree. Had Joely warned her about trees and thunderstorms? She couldn’t remember. There was so much she hadn’t told her daughter. So much more she needed to say.

She didn’t want to live if anything happened to Anna. “Anna!” Her volume maxed out. “Anna!”
Please, God, keep Anna safe. She’s just a little girl.

Thunder cracked through the sky and her heartbeat jumped. “Anna!” Her yells paled in comparison to nature’s wrath.

From behind, she heard sirens and could see the flashing red lights reflecting off the clouds. She hoped they’d sent out the entire Foxworth police department. As she pushed forward, her toe caught on something. She grabbed at a tree branch as she went down. It snapped and she fell on all fours. Pummeled by rain, she paused for a moment to catch her breath. All of her joints hurt, but she didn’t care. She had to keep going. She had to find Anna.

Maternal instinct fueled her. Clutching her muddy cane, she forced herself up.

Then she thought she heard something again. So faint. Could it be her? Her heart rate accelerated.

In her mind, she took off toward the sound as if she were an Olympic runner. In reality, she hobbled at a frustratingly inadequate pace. The beam of her flashlight swung up and down as she moved forward, providing no real guidance. She could easily trip on another tree root or rock. But there was no way she was slowing down. “Anna!”

A tiny sound in the distance: “Mommy?”

Relief flooded and re-energized her body. “Anna?” Somehow she quickened her gait.

They called back and forth: Anna—Mommy—Anna—Mommy. Her heart pounded.

Then she saw her, crouched underneath a tree, her frail arms wrapped around her knees. She was in the fetal position. Anna’s hair stuck to her cheeks. She was wearing her favorite, yellow daisy sweater.

Dropping her light and cane, Joely hurtled herself forward.

She tucked Anna’s shivering body underneath her poncho, forming a cozy nest. Tears ran down Joely’s face as she wrapped her arms around her daughter.

Tight. So tight.